Why So Hard?
They are three little words, and yet are the hardest ones to say sometimes and also ones we have misused so much. Why are they so hard to say when we truly feel them and why is is so hard to make that commitment to the person we often truly love with every fiber of our being, the one we think about all the time, the one we have to keep busy with any kind of busy work not to think about and want throughout the day because we care so much, love them so much, the one that haunts our dreams so many nights, whom we can sense thinking of us and what they think, their pain? Love is the greatest gift the Creator gave us, true heart, body, spirit, soul love is, so why does it scare the heck out of us?
Maybe it’s precisely for that reason? This is the most life changing, amazing gift and having a relationship where you are turned inside out, and upside down by that very gift is scary, and to embrace it any any point in life is well, wow and as we get older, change is scarier, for some more than others, though in my case it’s actually something I am willing to embrace more as I get older, so go figure. Still, as much as I love boldly etc…, that is not to say that love that all out heart, body, spirit soul deep water’s end love doesn’t scare me, it does at times when I feel what they feel, their pain, even though they aren’t with me, being an artist, an intuitive. Don’t get me wrong. It scares me a bit still, but that doesn’t mean I will let that stop me from loving, but as I have grown, and matured, gotten more spiritual, disciplined in my spirituality, I am also understanding that I have to let go with love, and move on.
I don’t know what the future holds, and if I will love again that way, or if they will at some point decide what they do want, but I can’t be anyone’s revolving door forever. I will live my life, create my incredible life as an artist and embrace whatever the future brings in my personal life, with meditation, prayer and faith.
Shalom and Amen