Life is as Gump says a box of chocolates and you don’t know what you are going to get, on the one hand I have some really great stuff in my life, amazing people, my music, my writing and I had realized just how resilient I am, just how much of tough tukkus I am. Anyone who has Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue can tell you, it is not a fun journey and if you don’t have a strong persona and resilience, it can totally knock you out of life and living.
Recently, I have come to understand how strong I am, even when the body may rebel. A very dear friend of mine has asked me to do PR for her, she is an emerging designer, and I also started, just this week working with a career coach. As these two people have been giving me feedback on my life since having to go on SSDI and even reviewing thing leading up to the moment when the Fibro made a fixed schedule of any kind a NO, they have helped me realize the range of gifts and skill sets I have, and as I research, it dawns on me that though I stopped teaching and working in any traditional paid sense, I continued to work, grow etc… as a person, in my gifts as an artist, as a writer, and will continue to do so. Life, like the rose has thorns, but when you have a strong will, and realize the only person who can ever hold you truly prisoner is you, with the help of great people in your life, who are supportive of your journey, you can break free and fly. Not to say the Fibromyalgia is gone away or will magically disappear tomorrow, but I can still be a teacher, an artist and thrive, working through and around it. It can at times knock me down a bit, make me dizzy, but it can’t, unless I let it, know me out.
The same goes for life itself. We often will say that others are imprisoning us or holding us down etc…, but in reality we are doing it to ourselves with our fears, self doubts etc… and unless we address that and release it, we will stay in our prisons that we have created, due to that and even false sense of duty and even sometimes false sense of loyalty. Loyalty and all that is a great thing, to an extent yes we should be loyal to others, but loyalty can still be given by appreciating what was done for us, and walking away in Agape Love. We also have to be loyal to our heart, the call of the heart, and the spirit in order to live not in prison, but in freedom.