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Indomitable Spirit Like My Mother

Fibromyalgia is a constant companion and though it can sometimes go into a restless light sleep, nod off somewhat, but it will make sure you know it is there and wake up often.  Well, it did so with me with swelling in the muscle of my jaw, and both are painful, make tasks like walking, chewing painful.  Hit with another Fibro whami, I could go into depression, give up on doing anything, just give up.  

However, giving up means not valuing my gifts, dreams, hopes all that is possible in life and I am not ready to do that, not by a long shot.  What do I do with the pain etc.. of this constant companion?  I push my way past it, while acknowledging that it is there, and I might have maybe modify a few things, activities, keep things local, but that’s fine, no big deal.  Life does not have to rob you of who you are and your goals, dreams, even when it throws whamis and boomerangs.  It is not about the pain, but how you handle it, whether you allow it swallow you and take over, just like with fear, lack of confidence.  In life there are moments of pain, of lack of confidence, of faith, times when we have fear, fear to let go of what doesn’t work anymore and move on because what we have is a safety blanket, so we think. and is familiar, so why would be let it go?  Life shouldn’t be about safety blankets alone.  Life should about being the most fulfilled, joyful etc… person you can be and most authentic, acknowledging the fears, pain, but not letting that take over, but pushing through and past all of that.  Granted I can’t do a lot of walking and that is a bummer, but I can walk to the park at the corder of my house, sit, and be inspired by nature, and still do my writing, so though the Fibro, has thrown me a whami, I don’t have to let that whami take over, swallow me.

 Life is about choices often in terms of how we react, handle and move through things, including pain and fear.  It is about whether we are reactive or proactive that will determine whether we ride out the storm and come out strong, or get swallowed by the waves.  We have that choice, though initially it may not seem that way, but we do and when we can stand back, meditate, and really get centered, aligned, it can all fall into place.  Reactive means I respond in the moment based on fears and pain only, seeing only the trees in front of me, and if I am just running not understanding the layout of the forrest or anything, I am going to run smack into a bunch of trees and it is going to hurt.  Proactive means I understand the situation, I acknowledge it, and I take positive steps, do not have a victim mindset, and entitlement mindset of the world etc.. owes me, as that is crap, and turn things to my advantage, take lemons, make lemonade.  I can tell you from experience, much more peaceful in life to be a proactive than reactive person.  

Will  I have more Fibro whami situations, and whami life situations, probably, but the outcome will be determined by my mindset, my determination and not being reactive, still strong in who I am and my core philosophy, making sure that it is truly authentic to me, not because it has been handed down to me, or because it is today’s trend, but it is authentically me, with clear boundaries, ethics and all that jazz.

Namaste, Shalom and Amen