Indecision, Not An Option

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The Journey That is Life.

There are two connections in my life that I have a strong psychic bond to, past and present and there is indecision with both on coming forward with their heart to be a concrete part of my life in the long term and in a concrete way, to build something solid, amazing, a union that is awesome.  

I know who I am and the journey I wish to make, the importance of Hadassah, my Israel advocacy, as well as the arts and life coaching are to my journey, along with my heritage and I would like someone who can support that, be a part of that to share it with me in partnership creative and beyond.  I am very much decided on that and I have an worldview that is conservative originalist precedent based Constitutionalist non cronyism, but firmly Capitalist Democratic Republic worldview, and am not a fan of the fanatical “green movement” and all that jazz.  Do I expect my partner to be in alignment with me 100% and vice versa? No.  However, I do expect them to have a clear vision for their life, who they want to be with, share their life, vocational path with etc.. and move their tukkus fast to make it all happen.  That I do expect.  I have a notion of who I would like to come forward, but the adages of old do have wisdom to share and the one of “first come, first serve and the early bird catches the worm” do apply.  Though I do have a notion of who I wish to be sharing it all with, I am decisive on one thing, first come first serve, so these indecisive connections need to get decisive and figure out exactly what they want and make it happen.  The one who first comes forward free and clear, in the process of free and clear and with a concrete firm certainty of starting the journey of life firm partnership, open heart, spirit soul etc.. is the one who will have my heart etc…I won’t be waiting around for anyone, so first come, first serve, first gets the partnership.

Namaste, Shalom and Amen

Caring Can Be Tough Road

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Caring about someone, having that strong psychic bond to them can be a blessing, but can also be tough, a tough road.  

When you have that connection, are a sensitive, an intuitive, can sense what others are feeling etc.., in a variety of ways you of course want to run to them and help, be there for them, have their back, take their hand and help them through the fire, make it of there unscathed.  When you know they have so much more that they can do with their gifts and you can sense pain, them trying to break free, and it’s not happening fast enough for them, your instinct is to want them to have you be their rock, for you to be able to fix it for them.  It’s hard when they are not letting you in, or for whatever reason can’t let you in, maybe it’s a pattern for them, not letting people in, not being comfortable with emotion, expressing it etc…You can feel the pain, their soul, very core, heart crying out to be free, to start a new life.  You would love to wave a magic wand and overnight make it all happen for them, snap of the fingers.  It’s a tough road to care and wish that they would let you in, talk to you about what’s going on, cry on your shoulder if that is what they needed to do.   It’s tough as an empath etc… being on the outside looking in and not be able to do anything quickly to help, make it all okay quickly for them.  What can you do?  

Meditate, pray, don’t ever underestimate the power of thought, consistent thought directed at a goal, of meditation and prayer.  It may not happen overnight, but it might happen that the caring penetrates, their awareness does and they do come to you with an open heart etc.. and share their burden with you.  You may not be able to fix it by osmosis overnight, but you might be able to be there to give courage, strength, guidance, whatever is needed for them to get through the fire, break free of the pain, the situation more quickly than if they tried facing it on their own or with those who may not have their back with that situation or goal.  

Namaste, Shalom and Amen

 

Deny the Heart =Nuclear Explosion

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Did you know that the heart is actually a mini brain?  Pretty cool huh? Well, yeah unless you deny it and what you feel in terms of love and try to live life in a way that denies your true heart, true love whether it is vocation or personal.  

We operate, and the universe operates on frequency, on vibration, this is why music affects us so much, certain sounds make us cringe, they carry vibration, even certain voices are pleasant to us, while others not so much.  When one has lived life shut down, shut off, closed off, like a rote robot, stiff, the heart shut down, the spirit barely alive, just going through the motions of life, not really alive, doing what duty called to do, nothing more, nothing less, and others in your sphere are also living that way with you, there is a real problem.  What happens when suddenly one encounters someone, something that truly brings one to life, that truly starts to open your heart etc.., but you are not used to that?  If you suppress it, one is going to be a pressure cooker, and at some point all hell will break lose, that nuclear explosion or meltdown so to speak will occur.  Not because anyone is a terrible person, but because the heart is a very important channel to inform us of whether one is alive, truly alive or just surviving, going through the motions, a zombie of sorts, an android seeming to be human and alive, but not so inside. Understand that when neurons in the heart are firing off, the heart gives off a powerful field around the body.  Amazingly, this energy field produced by the heart is almost a thousand times more powerful than the one around the brain.   The heart is a very powerful informer of whether we are alive, who we are truly connected to, or want to be connected to.  With that kind of energy being emitted, when you try to be in denial of your own feelings, and you don’t take constructive, very important word, actions in a swift and timely manner to be true to your heart, a nuclear explosion or meltdown is a very real possibility and it can be ugly when that happens.  Once one has determined that the heart has set itself a target, what makes it feel truly alive and I don’t mean just for a moment in the between the sheets, or just for the fame or attention in terms of vocation.  I mean that connection that is something that has opened your heart etc.., given you wings in ways nothing has before, and then constructively, wisely, swiftly embracing that.  Sometimes it’s okay to embrace that while we are still letting go of the old, of the deadwood, if that other opportunity has their arms open and has said, come in.  

Whatever path you take in life, be sure you are not living like a zombie, an android, but truly with your heart etc.. open and that you have embraced very constructively that which brings you to life, and makes you alive in ways nothing else did before, in beautiful ways.  

Namate, Shalom and Amen

 

Who I am, My Path

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

As I look to where I was and the whole trajectory of my life and ask this question, one we should ask periodically, it doesn’t seem as daunting as it might once have.  Granted it has been a bit of a maze, but that’s okay.

Who I am is a good place to start.  Right off the bat, I am my mother’s daughter, which means feisty, passionate about what she cares about, who she cares about.  That’s the first thing to know.  After that I am a woman who when she connects to someone connects also on a psychic consciousness level and that is a double edged sword for me, as I can feel and sense what they are feeling, thinking, going through at any given time, not 24/7. but it can be intense for me.  That’s fine also, it’s a part of me, who I am.  I am also I guess maternal as kids and animals take to me fairly quickly.  The other day I was walking, just walking and suddenly I hear a little voice behind me say “hi” .  It was a child, maybe about 5 and she wanted me to see how she was walking, was all excited to show me and I said to her how she was a big girl and she smiled a big smile at me and it warmed my heart so much.  Then she and her sister, a bit older wanted to show me how they could run and said “okay, but watch out, and don’t go into the street”  The mother laughed at my automatic mom instinct.  Then there is the artist and motivator side of me that loves to create, to inspire, motivate all that jazz.  These are the main elements of who I am.  I may not be a cook, and the most domestic of women, but I am passionate about who I care for, wanting to look out for them, motivate them etc.. and passionate about what matters to me such as Israel, advocating for her, and also my Italian-American culture.  This is who I am.

My path comes out of these things that I am, the maternal side of wanting to guide, inspire etc.. others, the love of writing songs, poems, of music, of that, wanting to make that my life path along with standing up for what I believe in, using the arts in some way also for that.  I hope also I will have my side in this journey a special someone who is also an artist and that we will have opened up our hearts etc.. to each other fully soon and begun an amazing journey as a team.

Namate, Shalom and Amen

You, Yes You -Poem

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Inspiration Peace and Love

 

Your voice penetrates my heart and soul,

You set me on fire

And set my life ablaze.

You, yes you.

 

Your fiery arrow pierced me,

Heart, Body and Soul,

Suddenly I could fly,

I could fly like never before,

You lifted me up to the sky.

You yes you.

 

This fire, this tenderness,

I dare not name it yet,

For I do not know if you feel the same,

Perhaps soon enough I will,

Perhaps soon enough you will.

You inspire, set my world on fire.

You yes you.

 

 

(work has been registered with ASCAP)

To My Artistic Inspiration, Fellow Artist

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Inspiration Peace and Love

Thank you my friend and fellow artist,  

I wish I could describe with words how much you have inspired me. 

I wish I could describe with words the beauty of the wings you have given me.

I wish I could describe with words the symphony you have awakened in me.

I wish I could describe with words the beauty of the path you have truly brought to life in me.  

Words alone can never describe what you have awakened in this writer, teacher etc…

I am not sure I can describe what you have awakened in words,

But I thank you with all my heart,

With all my being, hope someday soon,

That I can do so in a way that does it justice.

 

The Early Bird, Hmmm?

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

As my empathic and intuitive antenna went up over the past few days and I sensed an old connection coming through on the psychic consciousness plane in a panic about my current connection, which is not yet a relationship, as that person is going through stuff they have to sort out and are not yet letting me in, there’s a sort of suspension, a limbo.  I hope that limbo ends soon and with the new.

I shard this with another intuitive empath friend of mine what I was sensing and he reminded me of that saying about the early bird catches the worm.  I found myself thinking about that and what the heck I would do if that old connection came back into my life free and clear wanting a relationship.  Their worldview and mine are not parallel in any way that I can see, and I am a Zionist, very strong Israel advocate, they are anti-Zionist, though they are Jewish, and while I am Conservative Republican, they are friggin liberal progressive Democrat.  While I am looking to forge my path as an artist, and inspirational life coach, they are in academia, mathematics, and though Jewish have gotten so caught up in the middle eastern world and culture, its’ disconcerting and just nauseating to me. On the other hand there is history for one.  In addition, I have reached out to this other person in every way I know how, and have made it clear I want to be there for them, be ap part of their lives, but I have gotten no clear indication from them that they want that as well in any significant way.  I believe we have lots of common ground culturally, worldview, lots, but they are not knocking at the door directly saying I want you to fully come in and be part of my life, which is what they need to do.  I know there is uncommon ground with my past connection, but there is a reason for the wise sayings of our ancestors. Without a clear heart to heart, a clear indicator that this new connection wants me in their life in a full way, on a day to day basis, should that past connection come knocking, first, well the early bird as they say gets the worm.  It won’t be because I don’t want to be a part of the life of this new amazing person I have connected to, I do.  I also am not going to wait indefinitely and at this point in my life, not an option waiting and waiting and waiting.  It’s time to settle my life, put things in order lay all the foundations for the future, solidly.  As much as I haven’t given credence much to these sayings in the past, as I am getting older, I am doing so more and more.

With a sigh I say that the early bird may very well get the worm, and we will see if it will be the old connection or the new one, in the coming month.  I know my heart is rooting for the new.

Namaste, Shalom and Amen