Indecision, Not An Option

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The Journey That is Life.

There are two connections in my life that I have a strong psychic bond to, past and present and there is indecision with both on coming forward with their heart to be a concrete part of my life in the long term and in a concrete way, to build something solid, amazing, a union that is awesome.  

I know who I am and the journey I wish to make, the importance of Hadassah, my Israel advocacy, as well as the arts and life coaching are to my journey, along with my heritage and I would like someone who can support that, be a part of that to share it with me in partnership creative and beyond.  I am very much decided on that and I have an worldview that is conservative originalist precedent based Constitutionalist non cronyism, but firmly Capitalist Democratic Republic worldview, and am not a fan of the fanatical “green movement” and all that jazz.  Do I expect my partner to be in alignment with me 100% and vice versa? No.  However, I do expect them to have a clear vision for their life, who they want to be with, share their life, vocational path with etc.. and move their tukkus fast to make it all happen.  That I do expect.  I have a notion of who I would like to come forward, but the adages of old do have wisdom to share and the one of “first come, first serve and the early bird catches the worm” do apply.  Though I do have a notion of who I wish to be sharing it all with, I am decisive on one thing, first come first serve, so these indecisive connections need to get decisive and figure out exactly what they want and make it happen.  The one who first comes forward free and clear, in the process of free and clear and with a concrete firm certainty of starting the journey of life firm partnership, open heart, spirit soul etc.. is the one who will have my heart etc…I won’t be waiting around for anyone, so first come, first serve, first gets the partnership.

Namaste, Shalom and Amen

Caring Can Be Tough Road

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Caring about someone, having that strong psychic bond to them can be a blessing, but can also be tough, a tough road.  

When you have that connection, are a sensitive, an intuitive, can sense what others are feeling etc.., in a variety of ways you of course want to run to them and help, be there for them, have their back, take their hand and help them through the fire, make it of there unscathed.  When you know they have so much more that they can do with their gifts and you can sense pain, them trying to break free, and it’s not happening fast enough for them, your instinct is to want them to have you be their rock, for you to be able to fix it for them.  It’s hard when they are not letting you in, or for whatever reason can’t let you in, maybe it’s a pattern for them, not letting people in, not being comfortable with emotion, expressing it etc…You can feel the pain, their soul, very core, heart crying out to be free, to start a new life.  You would love to wave a magic wand and overnight make it all happen for them, snap of the fingers.  It’s a tough road to care and wish that they would let you in, talk to you about what’s going on, cry on your shoulder if that is what they needed to do.   It’s tough as an empath etc… being on the outside looking in and not be able to do anything quickly to help, make it all okay quickly for them.  What can you do?  

Meditate, pray, don’t ever underestimate the power of thought, consistent thought directed at a goal, of meditation and prayer.  It may not happen overnight, but it might happen that the caring penetrates, their awareness does and they do come to you with an open heart etc.. and share their burden with you.  You may not be able to fix it by osmosis overnight, but you might be able to be there to give courage, strength, guidance, whatever is needed for them to get through the fire, break free of the pain, the situation more quickly than if they tried facing it on their own or with those who may not have their back with that situation or goal.  

Namaste, Shalom and Amen

 

Deny the Heart =Nuclear Explosion

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Did you know that the heart is actually a mini brain?  Pretty cool huh? Well, yeah unless you deny it and what you feel in terms of love and try to live life in a way that denies your true heart, true love whether it is vocation or personal.  

We operate, and the universe operates on frequency, on vibration, this is why music affects us so much, certain sounds make us cringe, they carry vibration, even certain voices are pleasant to us, while others not so much.  When one has lived life shut down, shut off, closed off, like a rote robot, stiff, the heart shut down, the spirit barely alive, just going through the motions of life, not really alive, doing what duty called to do, nothing more, nothing less, and others in your sphere are also living that way with you, there is a real problem.  What happens when suddenly one encounters someone, something that truly brings one to life, that truly starts to open your heart etc.., but you are not used to that?  If you suppress it, one is going to be a pressure cooker, and at some point all hell will break lose, that nuclear explosion or meltdown so to speak will occur.  Not because anyone is a terrible person, but because the heart is a very important channel to inform us of whether one is alive, truly alive or just surviving, going through the motions, a zombie of sorts, an android seeming to be human and alive, but not so inside. Understand that when neurons in the heart are firing off, the heart gives off a powerful field around the body.  Amazingly, this energy field produced by the heart is almost a thousand times more powerful than the one around the brain.   The heart is a very powerful informer of whether we are alive, who we are truly connected to, or want to be connected to.  With that kind of energy being emitted, when you try to be in denial of your own feelings, and you don’t take constructive, very important word, actions in a swift and timely manner to be true to your heart, a nuclear explosion or meltdown is a very real possibility and it can be ugly when that happens.  Once one has determined that the heart has set itself a target, what makes it feel truly alive and I don’t mean just for a moment in the between the sheets, or just for the fame or attention in terms of vocation.  I mean that connection that is something that has opened your heart etc.., given you wings in ways nothing has before, and then constructively, wisely, swiftly embracing that.  Sometimes it’s okay to embrace that while we are still letting go of the old, of the deadwood, if that other opportunity has their arms open and has said, come in.  

Whatever path you take in life, be sure you are not living like a zombie, an android, but truly with your heart etc.. open and that you have embraced very constructively that which brings you to life, and makes you alive in ways nothing else did before, in beautiful ways.  

Namate, Shalom and Amen

 

Who I am, My Path

Life and Liberty, God Bless America
The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

As I look to where I was and the whole trajectory of my life and ask this question, one we should ask periodically, it doesn’t seem as daunting as it might once have.  Granted it has been a bit of a maze, but that’s okay.

Who I am is a good place to start.  Right off the bat, I am my mother’s daughter, which means feisty, passionate about what she cares about, who she cares about.  That’s the first thing to know.  After that I am a woman who when she connects to someone connects also on a psychic consciousness level and that is a double edged sword for me, as I can feel and sense what they are feeling, thinking, going through at any given time, not 24/7. but it can be intense for me.  That’s fine also, it’s a part of me, who I am.  I am also I guess maternal as kids and animals take to me fairly quickly.  The other day I was walking, just walking and suddenly I hear a little voice behind me say “hi” .  It was a child, maybe about 5 and she wanted me to see how she was walking, was all excited to show me and I said to her how she was a big girl and she smiled a big smile at me and it warmed my heart so much.  Then she and her sister, a bit older wanted to show me how they could run and said “okay, but watch out, and don’t go into the street”  The mother laughed at my automatic mom instinct.  Then there is the artist and motivator side of me that loves to create, to inspire, motivate all that jazz.  These are the main elements of who I am.  I may not be a cook, and the most domestic of women, but I am passionate about who I care for, wanting to look out for them, motivate them etc.. and passionate about what matters to me such as Israel, advocating for her, and also my Italian-American culture.  This is who I am.

My path comes out of these things that I am, the maternal side of wanting to guide, inspire etc.. others, the love of writing songs, poems, of music, of that, wanting to make that my life path along with standing up for what I believe in, using the arts in some way also for that.  I hope also I will have my side in this journey a special someone who is also an artist and that we will have opened up our hearts etc.. to each other fully soon and begun an amazing journey as a team.

Namate, Shalom and Amen

You, Yes You -Poem

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Inspiration Peace and Love

 

Your voice penetrates my heart and soul,

You set me on fire

And set my life ablaze.

You, yes you.

 

Your fiery arrow pierced me,

Heart, Body and Soul,

Suddenly I could fly,

I could fly like never before,

You lifted me up to the sky.

You yes you.

 

This fire, this tenderness,

I dare not name it yet,

For I do not know if you feel the same,

Perhaps soon enough I will,

Perhaps soon enough you will.

You inspire, set my world on fire.

You yes you.

 

 

(work has been registered with ASCAP)

To My Artistic Inspiration, Fellow Artist

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Inspiration Peace and Love

Thank you my friend and fellow artist,  

I wish I could describe with words how much you have inspired me. 

I wish I could describe with words the beauty of the wings you have given me.

I wish I could describe with words the symphony you have awakened in me.

I wish I could describe with words the beauty of the path you have truly brought to life in me.  

Words alone can never describe what you have awakened in this writer, teacher etc…

I am not sure I can describe what you have awakened in words,

But I thank you with all my heart,

With all my being, hope someday soon,

That I can do so in a way that does it justice.

 

The Early Bird, Hmmm?

Life and Liberty, God Bless America
The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

As my empathic and intuitive antenna went up over the past few days and I sensed an old connection coming through on the psychic consciousness plane in a panic about my current connection, which is not yet a relationship, as that person is going through stuff they have to sort out and are not yet letting me in, there’s a sort of suspension, a limbo.  I hope that limbo ends soon and with the new.

I shard this with another intuitive empath friend of mine what I was sensing and he reminded me of that saying about the early bird catches the worm.  I found myself thinking about that and what the heck I would do if that old connection came back into my life free and clear wanting a relationship.  Their worldview and mine are not parallel in any way that I can see, and I am a Zionist, very strong Israel advocate, they are anti-Zionist, though they are Jewish, and while I am Conservative Republican, they are friggin liberal progressive Democrat.  While I am looking to forge my path as an artist, and inspirational life coach, they are in academia, mathematics, and though Jewish have gotten so caught up in the middle eastern world and culture, its’ disconcerting and just nauseating to me. On the other hand there is history for one.  In addition, I have reached out to this other person in every way I know how, and have made it clear I want to be there for them, be ap part of their lives, but I have gotten no clear indication from them that they want that as well in any significant way.  I believe we have lots of common ground culturally, worldview, lots, but they are not knocking at the door directly saying I want you to fully come in and be part of my life, which is what they need to do.  I know there is uncommon ground with my past connection, but there is a reason for the wise sayings of our ancestors. Without a clear heart to heart, a clear indicator that this new connection wants me in their life in a full way, on a day to day basis, should that past connection come knocking, first, well the early bird as they say gets the worm.  It won’t be because I don’t want to be a part of the life of this new amazing person I have connected to, I do.  I also am not going to wait indefinitely and at this point in my life, not an option waiting and waiting and waiting.  It’s time to settle my life, put things in order lay all the foundations for the future, solidly.  As much as I haven’t given credence much to these sayings in the past, as I am getting older, I am doing so more and more.

With a sigh I say that the early bird may very well get the worm, and we will see if it will be the old connection or the new one, in the coming month.  I know my heart is rooting for the new.

Namaste, Shalom and Amen

 

Don’t Want To Be Protected

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The Journey That is Life.

There are times when people want to protect themselves and others if they are going through a rough patch and I can understand that.  As an intuitive and empath I can sense when someone I have connection to is going through stuff and caring I want to be there see them through.  It’s tough when they are not allowing me in and that being a reason.

I thought about it and asked myself if I wanted to be protected from a vindictive third party or the situation etc.., if that was the reason they were not letting me into their lives, though I sense they want to very much.  If I were running on survival instinct vibrations, fear vibrations, were not one tough cookie having had to navigate fibromyalgia and all the crap that entails, I might say yes I want to be protected and out of sight until they sort it out fully.  Since that is not the case, I have to say no.  I don’t want to be protected.  I want to be there for them every step of the way, ease their tensions, their frustrations, be a sounding board for all their frustrations, maybe even a nice shoulder massage.  I want to be there for them and with them through the good, the bad etc…  I want to share in the creative, in the day to day, in all that makes their life their life, and I want to share with them what makes my life my life, including my work with Hadassah, the Jewish roots of Christ that I love being a part of, as well as our shared heritage.  I want to share all of it with them, even my fibro frustrations.  That is what I hope, pray for, as I do feel strongly connected to them, did the moment we met.  I sense they are going through a rough time, ending a chapter of their life.  I wish I could be there for them, help see them through as they navigate this ocean with lots of angry waves I sense coming at them.  I can only do what they allow me to do and if they allow me in.  For now all I can do is meditate, pray and visualize that they will let me in and let me be their rock, be there for them, and I do hope that we will be able at some point to share a lot of great things, a lot.

Namaste, Shalom and Amen

Dealing Angry, Vengeful Others

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As I watch the exit, forthcoming exit of Britain, we see that there are different views on how the exit should occur, Merket and the UK want a slower pace exit, while some want to cut ties immediately because they feel dragging it on hurts the whole.  If Merkel insists on her way and other nations don’t want that, it could get sticky, maybe nasty, vengeful even.  It made me think about relationships, and divorce, including career partings in partnerships, artists with managers.   Let’s face it sometimes though you want to be mature, just agree to all terms that are a win-win for all and get on with life, the other side is angry, bitter etc.. and are determined to make it as hard as they can for you to exit, or put you through hell during the transition.  That’s a tough place to be in, especially if you have people caught in the middle.  Let’s take a nasty divorce, as it can apply to contract disputes and other situations.  

There is one thing that we have to realize and that is that we can’t control the other/s, not in any direct marionette way.  We can control ourselves, our choices, decisions, behaviors, how authoritative we are, all of that, what terms we present for a win-win situation.  Often the other party or parties want to get your goat so you say, do something stupid, behave in a way that is nasty as they are or more, in a way that they can then say you are the bad guy not them, a power play is what it all really is.  If the other side of the fence has a much stronger financial position, then figure out how to make yours strong, if you have to team up with someone who will have your back, who is a strong person, can be a power team person with you in what you do, what you aspire to do, then team up, there is power in a strong team that has each other’s back and can build a solid financial base and future, if that person can also be there for you emotionally, really have your back in a solid way to build a solid foundation, realize your dreams, potential including financially, awesome.   Keep communications open, and it may not be easy to do that and keep your cool, but meditate if you have to before communicating with them, breathing exercises.  Find a way, to be able to communicate, from a place of strength, authority, faith in the future, your future and also their future being positive with this parting of ways, whether personal or professional.  A tactic that some use is constantly change what they are asking for, the  terms etc… just to drive the other person to the edge and as a revenge tactic.  When that happens, you have to get firm, strong, present the most win-win proposal/s possible and say, that’s it, no more negotiating, know this hard on you, sorry, but these are great terms, no other terms will be offered, discussed, so let’s get this done, once and for all.  Repeat that there are the best possible terms, no others are going to be coming or negotiated, sometimes without being equally angry or bitter, you have to get tough.  There are also at times concerns when one is in the middle or at tail end of a divorce in either kind of situation about going into a new one, whether it is a new personal relationship or professional one.  If you have feelings for someone, and want them in your life, they have indicated they do also, talk to them, let them know the situation and together you will figure out the rest, same with professional.  Talk to those that matter to you and if there is someone new in your life, someone you would like to have as part of your life on any level, don’t shut them out, let them be part of the journey, they might be a great source of strength if they have a very strong spirit, a strong heart and lots of faith, talk to them, don’t wait, keep them shut out, same for professional.  Meditate and proceed, speak from the heart.  Of course paramount is legal advice that knows what the hell they are doing.  Without that, all the rest is a mute point.  I happen to be a great believer in meditating to neutralize all dark, negative energy in life, so if I were going through such a situation, and dealing with an angry bitter person, I would meditate for them to come to the table in Agape Love, for the good of all and sign off on the parting of ways, immediately, pronto.  I would also seek out the person I had in my heart to be there and make this journey with me. That’s me.  Remember to focus on breaking the chains, shackles so you can enter a new life and doing so in a way that everyone wins and as quickly as possible.  

Namaste, Shalom and Amen

Get Face Out of Hands!

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In life when things are not how we would like them to be, we have options, yes options. Believe it or not, there are several.  

One option is to play stupid, pretend a situation is other than what it truly is, find a false boogeyman and refuse to accept the truth of what it is and that it has to change, has to end, what the root true reasons for that are, so you can learn from it.  That’s option number one.  Another option is to just play stupid, close off all ability to feel, to be connected, function like a robot, get basic animal needs, survival needs met, but continue in a situation that is a dead end, walk around pretending you are alive, but truly you are just a robot, heart etc.. closed off and you fearful that if you should change things etc.. and then open up your heart, or even do so while making changes, the shock would too much for you.  Third option is to go stupid ballistic and handle it frankly immaturely and very stupidly in any number of ways, including with violence.  Do any of these sound healthy, good to you in any friggin way?  Just saying.  None of these options really are very appealing it seems to me.  What other option is there, other than to sit there head in your hands wailing and moaning, all tortured, or numb walking around like a zombie, a robot or alternating between these options?  

There is the let’s go for the brass ring option.  This option says I open up all my centers including heart and I face the truth of what I feel, of the situation, I take full charge, see what changes have to be made, speak the feelings and truths I have to speak, that are in my heart etc… good, not good, maybe even a bit ugly, but without bitterness or anger, shouts, but in a way that gets it all across and out.  If I have feelings of the heart, of caring for someone that I want to share and a tough situation I am trying to resolve, I talk to them and move heaven and earth, with swift authority and efficiency to do so.  I identify what has to be said, done etc… and constructively, but without delay, without excuses, without sitting around pitiful, and in pity for myself like child, I take a deep breath, identify what has to be said, constructively, to be done, constructively and with great speed, efficiency, open heart etc…, being very clear and concise, I get it done.  I meditate for a while deeply each day for three days perhaps to know exactly the decisions to take, moves to make, words to speak, ask the angels to open up every part of me consciousness, my heart to speak, decide with an open heart, even to have the courage to cut cords that have to cut, and do so clean and fast, and in full, no looking back.  

These are our options in life for tough situations, but sitting around head in our hands, feeling all pitiful, acting pitiful is not ever an option, should never be an option.  Tears, to cleanse us and detox for what we had to release, what “died”, okay, but not to where we do nothing but that, so that nothing is done, or spoken.  That is never, never, never an option!!!  

Namaste, Shalom and Amen