Have you ever told someone that it was a great day, or something to that effect and you get the response “what’s so great about it?” That’s a good question.
As I look at my life and one particular relationship that spanned a number of years, was truly a roller coaster, and as I sense this person may come knocking at my door, it’s a good question I find myself looking at. The psychic bond is still there and very strong, so that tells me something. Granted it was not perfect, we were far from ready for the intensity of it, and he was not ready for the intense in your face personality that is me. I was still dealing with finding my way through my path, authentic self and all that, spiritual, vocational, every aspect, so it was hard for me to really be in a relationship with anyone. He also had stuff to work through, whether he thought so or not at the time. I know I have to look realistically at it, not through rose colored glasses. However, I am looking at the good past and present based on my personal growth and I hope his.
One thing I recall was that when we had our good moments they were very electrical, also tender. There was a genuine concern for my goals, and when I sought to pursue my goals he was supportive of them. Those two things matter a lot to me, as well as the psychic bond that is still present after more than 10 years, after not having seen each other for at least two years now. As for the present and future, we both have grown I think, pretty sure, and there is hopefully also a greater understanding of self, thus of each other. With that growth we can appreciate each other, even if there were some differing on ideology. He is a generally accepting person, with a good heart, and that along with personal growth , the bond itself, we can work through any residual issues. Whether what is offered is friendship or more than that, his call to make and I am ready to embrace either, though I think that if we work on the good becoming really strong, build on that in friendship initially, it can be a great thing. It will be my choice in terms of whether I do embrace their return of course, which I will. I do have one main reservations, the fact that he has become so tied to a world that I have no interest in being tied into and has as I see it thrown his own roots and identity under the bus. He does all the external rituals of his faith on Sabbath and Holy High Days, but on the other hand throws all that is the roots of that under the bus. That concerns me, but I suppose it will be have to be addressed with mature dialogue.
What is great about whatever is hopefully the ability to grow, to learn, to move beyond and forward. What is great is the human capacity, if we don’t get stuck in stupidville with pure fanatical ideology, walls due to fears, but still have of course foundations and boundaries, clear beliefs, we have the ability to transform life, including ours.
Namaste, Shalom and Amen