I recently wrote about acceptance, my sense that someone from my past will be returning, an intuitive sense, free and clear for full steam ahead for a relationship. I also expressed certain concerns, but in the end said I would welcome them with open arms. Why?
The heart is why. This was a bond that was so intense, it never really faded, always been there in some way shape, form even if they have stepped out of my life and I haven’t seen them now for two years or so. When there is a bond, really strong one, and there was a lot of growing up to do, and you feel, sense truly that both of you have done so, the heart will, once that person is in front of you, say yes. What about the fact that they have gotten so caught up in an ideology and a world, culture even that is miles apart from mine, even thrown Israel under the bus over and over, when you are a strong advocate for Israel. I am aware intuitively that I am not the only one concerned about his being so caught up. Here is where the art of loving, guiding, sharing, discussing and also do a lot of prayer and meditating ahead of time come in. Women can have this tendency, which I have had in the past and I realize is wrong, to try to overnight overhaul and change the guy. If you want to totally change him, then what are you doing with him? Everyone has the capacity I think to grow, learn etc.., but if you have the mindset of wanting to change everything about him, are going to admonish him like a child then maybe not that much loving of the person, but the ideal of what you want them to turn into. You can meditate, pray they cut cords to what is toxic, unhealthy, that they have an internal realization of what could be shifted to have a better relationship between you both, but also do the same for yourself. What am I doing about this mini valley between us, so we could move ahead once he were to show up on the doorstep so to speak?
I am meditating for a shift, cord cutting not only for him, also for myself certain cords I might need to unplug from. I am realizing where I made mistakes with this relationship in the past, and working on understanding that we might have the same goals, even in terms of worldview, but a difference on how they would be achieved, should be. That just means that if we can both be mature adults we will have some great discussion and even maybe be able to work together to make it happen, find a middle ground we can both agree on. I understand I have to be open to what matters to him and he has to do the same for me. He and I have to be supportive of each other’s gifts, hopes, dreams, and goals to the fullest extent possible. When they do come back to my life, I hope it will be with a phone call or sudden FB chat, message, and the reunion I am sure will be awesome. Though I have to admit their being so liberal progressive does make me uncomfortable and I will keep praying for a shift on their part, meditating on that because it is not where I am at and am looking to fight that mindset for my country and on a global scale.