Often we know what kind of a life we want, what vocation we are meant for, or how we would like that vocation to unfold, we might even know where our heart lies, who we want to explore a relationship with. What is the problem, why not just jump right in, go for it?
We will assume something is in the way. We may think it’s external, but often it can be actually internal. How can that be, after all the finances are lacking, or this person may be at a higher intellectual level or lesser level, maybe they have a different worldview, very different worldview, or their personality is so strong, intimidating, they are like a tornado, so they will swallow me up. Any number of things can come into our minds to keep us from embracing what is the truth of our hearts that seem like external obstacles, even what we may consider as obligations and duties that are keeping us in misery due to what family and community say is duty and obligation, so we have this self imposed overwhelming guilt. We get so paralyzed by it, we can’t see a way out, a constructive one. Often we will go into automatic panic mode and turn it over and over in our minds until it becomes this huge monster that is really not at all what it seems and an obstacle that is not really an external obstacle at all. Often there are patterns that have created the situation and we need to figure out the root pattern and put an end to that pattern, whether it is refusal to face things head on, whatever that is, and change that pattern. Once we perhaps change patterns we can address the issue, the obstacle and see it is not such an obstacle after all and can be dealt with constructively and swiftly. It helps if we can find someone who can objectively, but who believes in us, help us with this process.
Let’s say one is intimidated by someone’s personality that they don’t know that well, just in passing, who may be quite passionate about certain things, so they come across as quite intimidating. However,they really have an interest in that person, but have really only seen this intimidating side to them, so they assume that is the only side to them there is. If that person is by nature a passive person, not one who likes confrontation etc.., they may be reluctant to even approach this person due to this fact. This may be a pattern, where they may assume things and rather than get to know the person, or deal with things directly, they just stay back. Perhaps they need to decide, this time they won’t make an assumption, and will get to know the person to see one on one the totality of their personality. Let’s say one has the dream of having a particular career, but has financial obligations and a creative route is too iffy, just chucking the day job for a creative route is too scary, and the person dreams about it, spends years in angst about the lost dream, that’s not very healthy. Maybe a different route might be to join a church choir, or some other community choir, gain experience, maybe write material for the choir, join ASCAP, register the songs with them that you write for the choir. Maybe even get an inexpensive website and sell your songs that you record and have mastered through Fiverr and promoted through Fiverr. It won’t cost much. You can still keep the stability, be an indie artist and build up the creative side meantime. You can do festivals or even later on mount your own shows weekends once you build a fan base. If your pattern is to spend your time wishing and thinking about why you can’t, then you need to change the pattern. With venues like Fiverr, and all the tools out there you can find a way to move forward with your dreams, even if it takes a bit longer, it’s okay.
Often when we wonder what is in the way, the answer is “me”, not anyone else, not anything else, it’s “me” and “my fears etc..” If we can get past that, then we can realize our dreams, potential, and even live our true love.
Namaste, Shalom and Amen