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When one has been closed off emotionally for most of one’s life, and has numbed one’s self to feeling, not really connecting, suddenly connecting is yikes.  I get it, they might be scared to deeply connect, though they want to, very much.  Why the fear?  

It can be a number of things.  It could be childhood stuff that one saw with one’s parents that left a scar, or fear of real intimacy, fear of making one’s self really open heart, spirit, soul, let your feeling be an open book.  It could be that they were in a lousy relationship, maybe long term, and it caused them to shut down, so to open up to someone else scares them because what it that doesn’t pan out.  If they have been hurt already from childhood, from a past relationship and if it ended not so friendly.  For some, it can literally create huge anxiety, trying to deeply, truly connect to others, particularly to anyone they have developed real feelings for.  It can be physically scary and bring on anxiety attacks.  There is also the negative self talk and self doubt that might come with childhood issues or coming out of a divorce etc.. that might make a person want to connect, enter another relationship, but fear of rejection, of being hurt again overwhelms them.  Also there is the notion of making sure if you are entering into another relationship, are going to connect to that person, really connect, they are not like the spouse one you ended things with.  If there is a fear, what do you do if you know the person has these fears?  

As an empath, intuitive, I can sense when someone I am connected to is having a fear moment, panic attack about all this, as I did last night with a connection of mine.  If you are the spiritually inclined, pray, meditate, and if you do believe in the psychic consciousness and subconsciousness, metaphysics and  telepathy, you might want to have a prayerful meditative dialogue with that person’s psyche etc..Be as wise as you can, as objective as you can understanding the fears they might have and addressing them in the meditative state, or contemplative prayerful state.  Let them know not to look at the whole forrest right away, but focus on planting the first seed in one or two things they want to accomplish, and if one is connecting to you, let them know, start small, something to just get the ball rolling.  Let them know that if they are coming out of a relationship, all that, making major transitions, it’s similar to building a new house.  Set up the initial beams for the foundation, one personal, one professional, one spiritual, one intimate.  Start with one seed, maybe even start with one seed for the new relationship.  Everything starts with seeds, so if you think about encouraging them to plant seeds, not the whole tree or forest at once, but maybe seeds, it might not seem so scary to them.  If you want to reach out, start with a coffee, going for coffee.  Don’t ask for the lasso and the moon to start with, that’s scary for anyone.  Seeds, remember seeds.  

What if you are the one with the fears?  The same advice, start with seeds.  If there is a relationship you want to pursue, start with coffee, don’t try and start with something big, as it might make you anxiety filled, so think a seed, something not scary, that you can feel comfortable opening up, starting to and then build up from there.  The same goes with any professional dream you have, start with a seed, think what seed you can start with that will get it all moving to realize your full potential, those great ideas you have that you were afraid to bring forward.  Think seeds, start there.  The important thing, to get over fear, is start, take first steps, start the process, plant the first seeds.  Trust that all will progress as it is meant to be because you are planting the seeds, making the choices based on your heart, spirit and soul.  Trust that and begin planting the seeds.  

Namaste, Shalom and Amen

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