Why I Am Not Afraid of My Heart
I was wondering recently what it is that I don’t fear speaking from the heart, call it as I see it, reach out, say what I feel pretty much. What is it that makes me so okay with that, with take it leave it, take me or leave me as is good, feisty, tough N.Y.C. etc..fibro junk and all? It dawned on me, faith.
Faith and being comfortable in my own skin. That means that I can speak what is in my heart to pretty much anyone, speak my mind to pretty much anyone PC or not, who cares. I can stand by what I stand by and not stand by what I don’t stand by. I don’t have to fear what others think because I am comfortable in my own skin. That is not to say that one doesn’t know how to act appropriately in any given situation, one does , but I don’t create my music or do anything I do based on what anyone thinks I ought to be doing. My faith journey is my own, doesn’t have to be the same path my family has followed for generations. I respect their faith and my heritage, but that path of spirituality and theology does not fit my path. I have come to a certain understanding of Yeshua and Messiah that more accords with the Jewish faith, so I honor that and if anyone is not okay with that, their problem, not mine, that includes family as much as I love them. Luckily my mom is not fanatic so her view is “do what you think is the right thing and frankly their theology makes more sense, but at 92, don’t expect me to change paths.” That’s cool.
It has been a long and somewhat painful journey to get here, but I am here. I can share my heart, spirit, etc.. comfy in my own skin. I wish certain others could do to as well, fully reach out to me, share what is in their heart, spirit and soul. I wish they felt comfortable totally in their own skin to just take that huge leap of faith and jump right in, reach out etc…start a journey that I think would be amazing. They have begin making shifts to their life, which I am happy they are doing, and I am so proud to have a connection to them. What I love most is that the connection was one of immediate magnetic pull of magnetism connection, and inspiration. I see it as a beautiful and sacred gift given to my life. I am at point where I can reach out, share myself, who I am, what I feel all of that, even in poetry and song. I hope everyone can get to this point in life in their own way, and hope that certain people I have a connection to can get there soon. It is a wonderful thing to be comfy in your own skin and be able to reach out to those you have a connection to in a special way, however that reaching out is done.
Namaste Shalom and Amen