Always Makes Me Reflect

Ricordati Di Me

This song always makes me think of a lesson that I learned about relationship, real relationship, the kind that will last a lifetime, the elements that it requires, at least for me anyway.   No one is going to dispute the obvious, that a healthy attraction and active sex life for a couple is crucial and one that is not just about sex.  What does that mean?  

I have realized that for a relationship to really last, there has to be more than the physical act itself, than that lust animal desire.  There has to be a playfulness to the relationship, playful banter, and the ability to also debate and discuss in a healthy way.  There has to be the ability to share the exploration of faith, of culture/s, of intellectual pursuits together, philanthropy and creativity together.  That creativity can take different forms together artistic and non artistic, but there needs to be a level of creative interchange and exploration, inspiration that feeds the union and helps it grow.  There needs to be the ability to accept the other as is, to embrace the other as is and where they are at, not seeking to change the fundamentals of what makes them the person they are and that you were drawn to, provided it is not a dysfunctional relationship and what drew you was not dysfunctional in nature.   There needs to be really good communication verbal, non verbal, tenderness in that physical union.  There has to be room for understanding that we are not perfect, and as much as we do our best to be kind and loving etc.. to each other, we may mess up at times, not in pattern, but at times, throughout our long journey together.  However, that does not mean we are not true to our own journey and who we are, including our faith journey and work to be in compliment and synergy with each other if necessary.  Presence, awareness, real presence in the moment with each other, sharing in each other’s dreams hopes etc.., having many shared hopes, dreams, plans activities, mutual encouragement, as well as individual activities, down time, all of that matters.  For me as one who loves to write, create, would love to spend lots of time working on the keyboard and writing music, being outside and having my computer with a downloaded keyboard and be inspired, going somewhere quiet and where I can record and be inspired by what I see, even if if just semi quiet and do a live recording, some of that each day would be important.   

When I hear this song and I think back to a key relationship in my life, life changing, I realize that it was not built on friendship or shared plans for the future, on anything necessary for a relationship to work, to be a relationship.  There were some tender moment, and some very intense moments, but there was nothing shared, not real memories created, or real tenderness as there should have been, except glimpses of it.  There is also another element, which is that we could not accept each other for who we were, but then again we never really did get to know each other really.  I still am not sure I could accept even today his far left worldview, which is so opposite mine I think.  I am grateful that it did inspire lots of writing and helped me to understand what a relationship is supposed to be and what it is not supposed to be. For that I am very thankful.  

Shalom and Amen