Feeling Like A Clown?
I talked previously about people not being supportive. It can go even beyond that.
When you have started to reach for that star, for that amazing dream, and if it is something that others feel might leave them out in any way, they may actually start to treat you like you are a villian, a “bad guy”, make you feel like you are a fool, a clown for feeling so intoxicated with happiness, joy etc… for finally in your life being emotional, if you used to be someone very stoic who never showed his or her emotions openly. Again realize this may have nothing to do with you per se, but with the fact that they may simply be feeling that as things in your life change, so might things between you and them. For example, if you are in a particular career path together and you suddenly change that path, they may feel that you wont have common ground anymore, then what? If you have been married a long time have common friendships that you come to create through that marriage, once you are not married they may feel, they will lose you because if their spouses choose sides and it isn’t you, they may feel they betray their spouse by hanging with you. Because dynamics have changed for you, and it may also change for them, they may, as a reaction and in lashing out to these changes, try to make you feel like a fool.
It may not even be them, it could even be you yourself. That’s right. When we make changes and transitions at certain stages of life, fall in love at certain points in life, and start to feel all emotional, giddy etc.., pursue our dreams, love etc.. with gusto and passion etc.., boldness at a certain later time in life, we may then be taken aback at out own passion etc…, feelings and then think we are being fools, clowns at this age, this point, which is silly of course, but we may feel that way. If others give us looks like we are nuts for suddenly changing paths in any area of life, or ending relationships of long standing, taking a new spiritual path, any of that at a certain later point in life, it may reinforce those feelings we suddenly have about what we are feeling at a later stage in our lives. How do we not feel like a fool or a clown? Good question. I thought so. What’s the answer.
Each of us is different and there is not one clear cut answer, but I would say one way is to just jump right in. If it’s a vocation, pursuing a vocational dream, going out of the box, just do it. If it’s a new relationship, just friggin talk to the person, and if you then get the gut feeling the best relationship to pursue is simply friendship or a professional one, okay at least then you know and you can go from there. Never feel you are a fool for having the guts to follow your truest heart if your intention is true and honorable , and whatever resolution you are seeking to bring it forward is done with the intent of causing as little pain as possible to all and the decision was made prayerfully.
Shalom and Amen