I find myself at a crossroads of faith exploration and questioning, not a bad place to be, in the sense that I do not doubt God, the existence of God. I don’t reject Jesus, as he is an important part of my spiritual life. What is the core crossroads?
Today I realized what the crux of my questioning is and it comes down to this, Covenant. Is Jesus a new Covenant, the continuation of the original? What about Mary, her role in all of this? What about the Church, the Church I grew up with, the one Scott Hahn so passionately embraced in his life? On social issues I stand with the Church in that the natural order of God must be respected marriage laws all of that, but I do not believe in telling couples stay together even if you are miserable, don’t each other, are truly in love with another, because you are obligated. However, holistically I do tend to agree with sanctity of life, the benefit of having a cohesive body of theology for all in the faith. I realized today as I was meditating, contemplating that my core question is about the covenant, and where Jesus and Mary fit in, and where does the Church fit in? That is the question I must answer. I wondered if God made new Covenants after Abraham, so I retraced and Abraham and Noah are referred to as the New Adam, and it seems that through David, through others God does make New Covenant, building on the latter, so it is not unprecedented. Jesus as an anointed Son with a particular goal, mission, just as Abraham, as Samuel, as each new Adam had, he fulfilled, but he fulfilled it fully and he was given new life and like only two others was taken up to heaven in special form. It is not unprecedented. Is the teaching of Jesus laying down his life for those he loved, for the Jewish people, for the hope of a union of Jew and Gentile so crazy for the creation of a New Covenant of the Heart for union of the Jew and Gentile? All these are the questions I have to answer with an in depth study of the Catholic faith and contrasting that with Torah study perhaps. I hope I can participate in two studies one at the synagogue and another at my local church. I do perceive a three year process of study, of learning and retracing my roots, steps and then deciding. Keep me in your prayers as I do.
Shalom and Amen