Free Spirit and One Track?
My decision to formally embrace Judaism seems to be creating a bit of a curfuffle I personally never thought that it would cause a curfuffle or that it in any way meant I was of a one track anything, so I have to again ask why Judaism?
I am brought to Abraham who has actual debates with God, has some tiffs if you will with God, some wonderful back and forth with God. In the end he has total faith in God and the divine plan that he senses from God. However, he engages, as Adam and Eve in the beginning likely did before making the lousy choices they made and cutting themselves off from God, the creator. This ability to argue with God, to argue with scripture, engage with scripture as an individual, with individual talents, opinions etc.., still have a core that guides is beautiful. I don’t have to agree with everyone else in the Jewish community, and they don’t have to agree with me on every point of theology. There are key points that will make us all Jewish, Mitzvot, Tzedakah, law and order, striving for certain things as a community and really my being able to express my full self spiritually, theologically, artistically within the culture and faith of Judaism. Will my being Jewish, living a Jewish life, Kosher etc… striving to pray three times a day, all that makes one Conservative Jewish make me any less of an artist, or Italian, or me, no. I think the material I write will be more centered on themes that matter to me, will matter to me as a Jewish women in society. I will write more about themes of faith, of conscience rights, of God and nature, yet still likely be inspired by the psychic connections I have to others. I have a peace now that I can’t quite put into words and if I write a song, a poem, and record I do today and if I don’t and I write 10 in three weeks and record, okay. I can be just as creative blogging and sharing my journey on this path, that is true to my soul, and in my work with the synagogue. Being Jewish is my choice, my “calling” and I know it will have some backlash, but I don’t care. I have to be true to what is true to me and rings truth to me and that is Judaism. I will still be me, and likely even more matured me as I study Torah etc… over time and am part of this larger community, but still me. I hope that whatever backlash will be minimum. Whatever it is, I am a tough cookie and I can take it. Having a specific faith, path, foundation is I think a positive sign of my personal development and growth as a woman, as is my recognizing the true path of my heart etc.. and following it, even if there is backlash because I believe in God as one, only one and am very drawn to the precepts of the Jewish faith.
I have found my path and truth and look forward to living it every day with joy, peace and everything I can, including my creative side, my arts, my poetry, all of that.
Shalom and Amen!