mourning us

As I watched two Christmas specials (music), two of favorite Christmas movies,  and even the last episodes of Terra Santa News, I realized what moves me and I also realized there are some things I just don’t have a lot of patience for, just don’t.  

I was moved by the solemnity of the season brought out by the Celtic Woman Christmas special, and even the Mormon Christmas Under the Start, certain songs and background of Bethlehem.  The solemnity of it, really moved me and I was on the verge of tears.    Watching songs with Bethlehem as the background was so moving to me, and really touched a cord for me, the history that is there, so much history and sacred tradition, so beautiful, so inspirational.  Then I watched Terra Santa News and saw initiative and entrepreneurship,  as a means to give the fishing rod so to speak so people could fish and eat, be proud and dignified in what they created, accomplished.  I saw a school, center created for children and families that warmed my heart, children from all over the world and who had come from harsh conditions, but the innovation and care of the faith community made it possible for them to have schooling and more.  That was a beautiful thing to see.   These things, music move me, touch a cord with me.  Then when the Terra Santa News kept referring to Palestine and Palestinians, it was frustrating to no end as that is a myth that does not exist, it is fantasy and for the Vatical and RCC to give it validity really annoys me to no end.  That is something I have no patience for, giving a name to a people and a place that it does not have in history in Covenant etc.., and should not be given to them or that place, that land.  I also realized as I watched the innovation of these women, designers etc.. who had found a way to get their graphic designs etc… to the larger market, despite whatever political crap is going on that I truly have no patience, or little to no patience for snowflakes, wusses and people who live their life fed up, and won’t go after their true heart, who won’t take the bull by the horns and figure out a way to go after their dreams, their heart and what their heart, spirit and soul truly aspires to and that life they truly aspire to live because they are too afraid.  I realize I have not such patience even with myself.  I may not have a recording studio etc.. to create the most high quality material to put there for sale,  and I may not have a bunch of artistic training, experience, but I will not allow myself to be a snowflake, a wuss, or a coward and not put the material out there as imperfect as it is and myself out there as imperfect as I am.  I have realized that I have little patience for those who can’t truly appreciate it when one is supportive etc… and have not the capacity or willingness to reciprocate that support etc..  I know I have very little patience for those who would disdain Middle America, Our Flag, Constitution, Bill of Rights, but also who would take that and turn it around with violence and hatefulness.  There are one or two other things I might not have patience for, but well not need to make the list too long.  

I also realized that I have an idea, pretty clear one of what my path is artistically from here on in, and also who I hope has the courage, the guts to take some very bold and heroic steps to start a whole new life and hopefully include me in it.  I also know that I have to focus on creating the life of The Sacred Poet and Artist with very solid intent in my heart, spirit and my soul.  I plan to do just that.  S

halom and Amen