Choosing To Remember The Good

Some will always hold a special place in one’s heart.  It was not wrong love, but lousy timing.


As I listen to this song I recall a relationship that was a real emotional roller coaster, with neither of us ready for the relationship, or to deal with it, the intensity of it, especially me.  I have to be honest, I don’t feel it was a wrong love.

It was a catalyst to my personal growth as a person and in a number of ways.  If we had met at a different time, when I was in a better place emotionally, spiritually etc…, had a clear sense of myself and my path, as is the case now, it probably would have worked out differently.  Yes, we might have a somewhat different views on certain issues, but that could have been worked out.  They will always have a special place in my heart, always and I truly wish them joy, happiness and as the song says above all I wish them love, true lasting, set your world on fire forever love.  I wish that for them with all my heart.  I could recall the down side of the roller coaster, but I recognize that I was not ready for it, and so I hold no grudge, only retaining positive thoughts, memories.  I realize that I should have really worked  more on building a healthy friendship before getting intimate, not just jumping into physical intimacy head on.  The connection was intense, and we just went with it.  I realize that we should have given us time to build a spiritual and cultural basis of sharing more than anything else before jumping into intimacy.  We should have gotten to know each other’s world a bit more in depth.  A lot that should have been done differently, and I should have had my issues about my childhood and parents worked out.  He had his own baggage that needed working out, but then again we all do in some way.  The problem is when you carry that baggage into another situation, into a relationship.  I realize that any relationship I enter into, all my previous baggage has to be taken care of, at least a good portion of it.  

I will never forget this connection that turned my life upside down, gave me lots of songs and poems, was a catalyst for my growth.  I will cherish what it taught me and continues to teach me though they are no longer in my life.  It is a beautiful thing to be able to let go of the crap and remember the good times, and lessons learned, also keep them in your prayers and meditation for healing and transformation.  I will always pray for and meditate for those I have a established a deep connection with in life, and pray for their ability to fly, to get wings to fly and set themselves free from anything that limits their potential, their true path in life and their having a life of joy and great things heart, spirit and soul.  I hope that though they are no longer in my life, they to can also keep good memories of me, that it inspires them in some way. May they find true bliss on many levels.  



Authenticity Can Be Messy

mourning us

The journey to authenticity of heart, spirit, soul, love and life is not easy, as it may require a full change in your life, your relationships etc.. and because we often are so tied to others, not out of love etc.., but history and whatever concepts we have about relationships, commitment, all that. In addition we want to have an authentic self spiritually, creatively and in life without making waves.

Good luck with that!  If we are going to be authentic, realistic etc…, release toxic unions etc… then we had better get used to the fact that it will not be smooth sailing and yes there will be hurt, pain all that.  What is the alternative?  The alternative is to be miserable, to be lost, in shackles and chains that slowly poison our heart etc.., even our view of life.  It will at some point affect our health, well being.  I am not saying that one has to be cruel in how one approaches change, but when change must be made, it must be made, end of story.  When we make changes, we have to accept that not everyone will be pleased, or supportive, any of that.  They may even turn their backs on us, even if only temporarily.  However, if we give space and time for healing, and if we meditate and pray on that daily, it will work out.  If we try to push people to accept changes, even after we have determined to make those changes and do so, we risk total alienation from them.  It is human nature to want to have people love and accept us and our choices, but that won’t always be the case, not immediately.  We have to be okay with that, learn to be okay with that.  We have allow space for ourselves as we transition to a new life, new relationship maybe, whatever we are changing, making changes to, leaving behind etc… and for others as well.  Staying in situations, relationships, career paths that make us miserable and spiritual paths that are not authentic to what we truly feel with our entire being is authentic, after careful examination, is not a positive, not in any way you look at it.  

Make the change, be fearless, be bold, be courageous, but don’t try to please everyone at your own expense, and don’t stay in situations you know are toxic to you, as soon as you have the means and opportunity to change that, even if it means walking away and having some bruised hearts etc..  Over time they will mend, and new lives by all will be accepted.  It takes time, which I know for us humans if very frustrating, as we want everything now, like yesterday, which is not realistic, or mature.  Like I said be bold, be courageous, for yourself and maybe even for the other person who should not be in a toxic environment and you can set them free constructively, but firmly.  Be authentic in all ways to you, your inner true self, heart, spirit and soul, give everything else time to heal, don’t push for acceptance of changes etc.. in your life, just don’t.  Meditate, pray, let those who are unwilling to accept the changes know you care and will always have them in your prayers, but the change is happening with or without their blessing.  So long as the change is one that is constructive and truly authentic to you, others will then accept it at some point in time.

Namate, Shalom and Amen

Fear Only Fear Itself? Yeah

I have heard the phrase “You have nothing to fear but fear itself more than once, but what does it mean? How does it relate to the past and moving on, truly letting go?

Fear is a toxic element, even in situations of stress etc…, but if we allow fear to be what dominates decision why we stay or do anything, then Fear wins, the darkness wins.  If we allow fear to stop us from following God’s plan for us, that which is in our hearts after meditating and discerning, then Fear, the darkness wins.  We must learn to let go of the toxic past and present, cut ties with it as necessary and move forward constructively, and not let fear be what rules decisions, even when we are in a tough situation, fear can’t be what rules and prevails or solid decisions and resolutions can’t be found.  If we fear opening our heart to love, to true deep love, we also allow the darkness to rule. Let’s not let the darkness rule.



My Holidays Wishes For You

Inspiration and Love

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all. I thought about what my holidays wishes for each person I have a connection to, including all my followers is and this is what I hope for you for this holiday season into the New Year.  

I wish you to fearlessness and wings,

Fearlessness to pursue your dreams even true deep and spiritual love,

And wings to fly to your fullest potential and fulfillment of those dreams.

I wish you to let go of the past, release it into the heavens,

Never let it hold you hostage or keep you from moving forward, from flying.

I wish you the ability to be open of heart, spirit and soul to your intuition,

To be able to reach out to those dreams, including that true love,

And to find your bliss, and authentic self in all things.  

I wish you the courage to stand up for yourself,

Do so constructively and firmly always,

To love and appreciate who you are, your gifts,

And know that you do deserve to be happy, prosperous and wise.

As the song says “above all I wish you love, true deep, profound, spiritual and lasting love in your life forever.



It’s The Ideology Stupid

mourning us

As I watched the Catholic channel and saw the Christmas parade in Bethlehem with everyone in unison and the kids having a great time of all ages and faiths, then recalled recent attacks in Europe even here, it dawned on me.  

“It’s The Ideology Stupid”.  It is an ideology of extreme Islamic interpretation, of literalistic interpretation and refusing to move into the future,  an extreme version of something, which sees all as the enemy who do not have that same radical ideology.  Even  Egypt’s President has  openly said that the ideology of Islam  is driving people to kill and commit acts of terror.  He said this to clerics mind you, so he realizes there is  problem in Islam.  The Washington Times points out what he said and it is most likely spot on:  

He stood before clerics and scholars and asserted that years of Islamic writings and sermons had created an ideology that justifies waves of violence. Now, he said, the imams have a duty to stop it.

“You must emerge from it and look from outside, in order to get closer to a truly enlightened ideology,” he said in a speech televised to the Egyptian people. “You must oppose it with resolve. Let me say it again: We need to revolutionize our religion.”

 It has to start with naming the enemy ideology both within and outside the Muslim world, and then within the Muslim world an active campaign of change, of reformation.  Nothing can be changed, transformed etc.. unless you acknowledge and then actively change it.  This is true of any situation.  The West can try to eradicate ISIS etc.., but unless the Muslim world changes from within the ideology nothing can change.  It is heavily upon the shoulders of the Muslim world itself to say “NO” this way of things is no longer viable for the modern world and we must change in step with modern times, though keeping core  five pillars of the faith.  Anything that is of and connected to violence, to absolute hatred of others to the point of seeking their destruction is not accepted or acceptable.  They must change the way they teach is the schools, everywhere.  In the West their big mistake was taking in large numbers of unknowns and not having the capacity to assimilate them, thus creating mini arab radical nations within their nations. This is why the U.S. is wrong in having a refugee resettlement program that ignores states rights.  It must halt all immigration until guaranteed vetting can be put in place that is bulletproof.  When immigrants come here, and legally only, they must be made to assimilate, while still appreciating their culture.  The U.S. culture must become their primary culture, the notion of a Capitalist Federalist Constitutional Democratic Republic.  

Will the Islamic and Muslim world have the courage to make the New Year one of reform, of reformation and inner revolution to change a history of terror being created for future generations?  I hope so, for all our sakes including theirs.

God Starts Over, So Can We.

Life and Liberty, God Bless America
The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.


As I study the chapter relating to the flood, the online course makes an excellent point about the flood and Noah etc.. It points out the following:  

“The story of the flood (Chapters 7-9) is told as a new creation story, with lots of subtle and obvious references back to Genesis 1. In the context of the entire book of Genesis, the flood story shows us God giving the world a new start, starting His family anew in the line of Seth.

Noah is like a new Adam. Like Adam, Noah is given authority over the animals (compare1:26 and 9:2-3). He is also given the same command as God gave to Adam: “be fertile and multiply and fill the earth.” (compare 1:28 and 9:1). Finally, as He did with Adam, God makes a covenant with Noah and through him with all living beings (compare 2:1-2 and9:13).

With this covenant with Noah, God renews the covenant He made with creation in the beginning. The rainbow sign is like the Sabbath, a symbol of God’s communion with His creation. We have here, the second of the major covenants that form the “organizational principle” of the Bible.”

God in his sorrow for the extreme state of corruption, sin etc.., did a do over, gave humanity a fresh start, and it might seem to some harsh the way it was done, but sometimes you have to eradicate that in life which causes so much pain etc…, unhappiness, not in this extreme way of course, no.  However, there are times when life as it is, just is not working, relationships are not working, can’t be saved etc.. and you have to be willing to let go, to move on, to start over, clean slate.  That might not always sit well with everyone in your life, nor will pursuing your true calling.  God lets us know throughout the Scripture that even though the road to starting over may be hard, he will be there with us, His Holy Spirit will guide us if we pray, reflect, and Christ will always find his lost sheep, even that one lost sheep, you, me, and help us to get back on the right path.  Starting over is a process, and initially when we find ourselves having had a life changing experience, including a divorce, or any health issue that limits us in any way, we might want to go into a cocoon,   We might not be sure who we want around us, and what the future will bring.  The main thing to remember is that if God can have  do over for the world, then we can also have a do over for our lives, even if the transition is not totally smooth, even if it is painful.  Going into a cocoon is not necessarily healthy, so if we have people we have a strong bond to, a deep bond to, then we should seek them out, even those we want to build a stronger bond with, that we might want to be a part of our future.  

With this holiday season and the New Year coming, the flood story is a story of destruction yes, but also of hope and rebirth, just like Christ is.  Never let life’s challenges, changes be of discouragement to you.  Let the flood story and Christ give you hope and knowledge that God is with you through it all, through thick and thin.


Authentically Me. What Is That?



I have come to realize thanks to the wisdom of a friend that the one thing someone  I feel deeply connected to wants from me is to be authentically me in order for them to come forward.  What is that exactly?  It has been a journey to get that clear. Here it is.

If I were to put it in a nut shell it is this.  I am sweet and sassy, plenty of sassy and spice.  I do not suffer stupid or fools gladly, nor snowflakes nor liberal progressive ideology.  I have no illusions of a world of total love and kumbabya, not wearing rose colored glasses.  I want to dedicate my life to the arts including Italian and sacred arts.  I want to do so with people I feel deeply connected to, including certain other artists that have inspired me in ways they can not even imagine.  I love my my Italian heritage, want to make sure  it is always a part of my life and my arts.  I want to be a major part of that community, including the faith community, which for an Italian/Italian American means Catholic.  I also want to understand the world and faith of Jesus his family, the early apostles.  I am someone who loves kids, animals, gets on quite will with them and loves to be both by herself to create etc…  and also other times with people, enjoying a nice meal and just lots of fun.  I am someone who has very sensitive psychic connection to things and sometimes it is a blessing and other times, ayyy ayyy ayyy.  I wear my heart on my sleeve pretty much, and hate to have to play games, which is why I never liked dating because it seemed to me it was all games and I have little patience for that.  Tell me what you feel, what you want and if I am on the same page great, if not we part ways.  I can give tough love as necessary, even with my mom, love her.  I have no patience for games, none, especially not in the romance department and relationships.  I also little patience for PC, for modern extreme nutty feminists and all that as well.   In addition am someone who wants a life partner etc… who has solid conservative values and worldview.  There you have it.

If anyone wants to know who I am authentically this is, this is me.  You can take it or leave it and I have to afford he same courtesy if I am going to have someone in my life.   If anyone wanted to know who I am, this sums it up.  


Gifts Not In a Box, What I Want

Inspiration and Love

As Christmas Eve and Day approach and the the New Year, I am making my list of gifts I wish for and they don’t come in a box.  What am I wishing for?

First, I am thankful for certain gifts already in my life, such as great people that have been a part of my life for a good chunk of it and that I am doing what I love.  What other gifts am I looking for?  I would like to see certain connections get over any fears etc… they have and be able to reach out, connect, communicate, build upon the connection to create an amazing life long friendship, and wherever else it might go.  That would be a lovely holiday/New year gift.  I would also like to earn my daily bread through the arts, through my heritage and culture, including the faith community it is connected to. It would be great to have my gifts grow and expand as an artist, orator and such. I would love for people to stop looking at things based on race and all that and simply think about what is for the greater good of all in this country and follow truly the Constittuion and BIll of Rights with dignity, with calm and peaceful means always, honoring conscience of the faith community even in business.  I would like to see snowflakes stop being snowflakes, including professors and educators.  I would like to see America lead in economics in all things very wisely.  

These gifts don’t come wrapped ip n a box with a bow on top.  However they are gifts I hope and pray, meditate on to receive this holiday.  I will keep praying and meditating on them even after the holiday.  I won’t give up on wanting these gifts and seeking to bring them into my life.  I realize they may not come in a way I think they should, etc… but I will keep faith that they will come.


Christmas Traditions of Italy



Christmas has different traditions around the world, and I wanted to share those from Italy, my mom’s native land. I found this article that gives the different traditions, including foods for that season.  I love my heritage and sharing about it with others.

Italian traditions in Italy are based heavily on the religion ofChristianity. Christmas starts eight days before Christmas and laststill after the Feast of Epiphany. Musical salutes are made at the shrineof the Virgin Mary and songs are played at the homes of carpenters inhonor of St. Joseph. Eight days before Christmas, a special Novena ofprayers and church services begin. It all ends on Christmas Day. OnDecember 23rd, sometimes earlier, children dressed as shepherds withsandals, leggings tied with crossing thongs, and wearing shepherds’hats, go from house to house playing songs on shepherds’ pipes andgiving recitations. They receive money to buy Christmas treats. Incities like Rome real shepherds sometimes carry out the performance.A strict fast is observed 24 hours before Christmas after which a mealwith many dishes (but no meat) is served. The traditional Christmasdinner, Cenone, is made up of spaghetti and anchovies, anassortment of fish, fresh broccoli, tossed salad, fruits, and sweets.A Yule log, the Ceppo, is burned, and toasts in wine and wishes for thefuture are expressed. The Urn of Fate, an old Italian tradition, is alarge ornamental bowl that holds wrapped gifts for members of thefamily. When the family gets together, each member takes his turn atdrawing a gift from the urn until all the presents are distributed.The presepio (manger or crib) represents in miniature the Holy Familyin the stable and is the center of Christmas for families. Guests kneelbefore it and musicians sing before it . The presepio figures are usuallyhand-carved and very detailed in features and dress. The scene isoften set out in the shape of a triangle. This is a wooden framearranged to make a pyramid several feet high. Several tiers of thinshelves are supported by this frame. It is entirely decorated withcolored paper, gilt pine cones, and miniature colored pennants. Smallcandles are fastened to the tapering sides. A star or small doll ishung at the apex of the triangular sides. The shelves above themanger scene have small gifts of fruit,candy, and presents. The ceppois in the old Tree of Light tradition which became the Christmas treein other countries. Some houses even have a ceppo for each child inthe family.From the Castle of Saint Angelo in Rome a cannon is fired to proclaimthe opening of the Holy Season. Each tries to outdo the other bydisplaying the biggest presepio.Children in Italy hang up their stockings on the Feast of theEpiphany, January 6. They celebrate the visit of the Three Kings toBethlehem. Instead of Santa Claus, children are expecting Befana.She is a witch-like character who rides around on a broom. Thelegend is that the Three Wise Men, I re magi, stopped at Befana‘s hut to ask[giotto: re magi]directions on their way to Bethlehem and asked her to join them. Shesaid no, she was too busy. Later a shepherd asked her to join him inpaying respect to the Baby Jesus. Again, Befana said no. Later when itwas dark and she saw a great light in the skies, she thought perhapsshe should have gone with the Wise Men. So, she gathered some toysthat had belonged to her own baby, who had died, and ran to find thekings and the shepherd. But Befana could not find them or the stable.Now, each year she looks for the Christ Child. And each year sinceshe can not find him, she leaves the gifts for the good children of Italyand pieces of charcoal for the bad ones..No meat is eaten for twenty-four hours before Christmas Eve, butthere follows a meal as big as the family can afford. A special NewYear Banquet is eaten on the last day of the year, with raisin bread,turkey, chicken, rabbit, and spaghetti. Champagne is the drink of theevening.