Mass of Remembrance, Testament To My Heritage

Life and Liberty, God Bless America
The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

Yesterday we had a Mass of remembrance for the victims of Triangle Factory Fire in NYC, which took place in 1911 at Most Precious  Blood Church.  I would have liked to have seen more people there to honor the memory of these people, some as young as 14, but it was a moment of beauty and sadness both for me.

The beauty of the Mass, of the faith in the Risen Christ, in knowing that in their memory they have life and in Christ they have eternal life was a beautiful thing. I have explored spirituality from different pathways in my life, even most recently Judaism and I guess also when I see the evangelicals all excited prayer and all that it has a certain appeal for someone who is an artist, a songwriter, poet, all that.  Yesterday, I was reminded that faith and The Faith, living it, is not about being entertained, though I think a good Homily is always a good think and a great homily delivered by Priest with a great delivery, awesome, but rather about wisdom.  It is about remembering that we are Catholic, not like other denominations.  We place emphasis on reason, on inductive and deductive reasoning to understand the faith, the Bible, God, the Trinity, life, all that, as much as we do faith.  The core of what makes us Catholic, unmarried religious, sacraments, the structure of the Mass really matter, Lenten traditions and within that cultural traditions all matter.  As I participated in that Mass yesterday and as we then read the names of those victims, with Amazing Grace playing in the background, it made appreciate the beauty of my heritage, of my Roman Catholic heritage.  Does the Institution have flaws, yes, do individuals within the institution have flaws, hell yeah, for remember we all fall short, all, of the glory of God.  I don’t expect the Institution or individuals in it to be perfect, people of overall ethics, integrity, yes, perfect, hell no.  I don’t believe in unicorns or any of that, haven’t for a while in life.  I do believe in the Risen Christ and appreciate my heritage, the Roman Catholic faith included and beauty of a Mass with dignity, not a lot of shouting, clapping etc.. needed, but rather beauty and dignity.



How To Spot Butterflies and Honeybees

butterfly honeybee

Often we can come across what I call the butterfly and or the honeybee, and they seem to be in the thick of it all, don’t they? 

They are really on the scene and they seem to be really busy all the time, and I used to have a complex about whether I was busy enough with life, whether I was useful enough in life based on whether I was busy enough, involved enough in enough stuff.  I could have become a butterfly and a honeybee, like some I have been observing.  What is a butterfly and/or honeybee?  Often such a person has their plate full day and night, they are involved in so many events, in different causes, even within one aspect of something cultural, spiritual, philanthropic, are all over the map.  They do not leave any time for being with themselves, as if being with themselves is something they can’t quite fathom.  They often have droves of “friends”, know lots of people, keep accumulating people in their lives, but are often in a cloud and won’t even remember what was said to them by anyone, and if you share anything of your work etc… they are so busy with busy work for the sake of busy most likely they don’t even look at it.  They may later on in life be trying to do all they feel they didn’t, realize all the dreams they feel they didn’t earlier on, and really have a hard time with just doing nothing, even just being with one person in a very deep intimate setting, situation emotionally, spiritually, and not even doing anything, just being present in the moment, chatting, just in the moment.  The butterfly also may have a sense of not wanting to see what is really happening, and positivism a good thing can be taken to where reality of a situation is ignored, decision making turned over to others and the fluttering here, there and everywhere continues.  There is no core venue or project of focus for the energy, no streamlining for achieving the cultural, spiritual, philanthropic etc… goals in one place, it’s scattered all over the place and nothing concrete gets accomplished long term.  Often there is no plan, it’s just winging it, which works for the short term, but not for the long term, ever.  They also often fail to realize that if you want to accomplish great stuff long term, you have to find the right partnership/s because that can be the key to make or break a lot in life.

Remember, being a butterfly, honeybee, even the lone ranger, rebel with a million causes is fine when you are in your youth and exploring who you are, what your gifts, talents, dreams are, but at a certain point in life, sorry folks, but it is time to stop fluttering the wings and pollinating here there and everywhere.  It is time to get streamlined, get focused, really figure out the venue where you are going to channel your energies, talents etc.. and make it happen, have that star light up and be a beacon for the world to be inspired so on and so forth.  It can still be fun, exciting if you make it so, constructively please, thank you.  Hopefully, at some point, butterflies and honeybees can learn to streamline on one field, one flower.



What I’m Most Sad About

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

 I could be sad about the ideas being dismissed, and my talents, but that’s not what makes me sad the most.

What makes me sad the most is that what I have shared, what I share comes from Spirit, come very spontaneously as an artist, and in general, even in extending my friendship.   I am very open about my meditating daily, my faith, and asking God to be an open vessel, wearing my heart on my sleeve.  I guess what makes me sad the most is that when my work and my ideas in ministry, in the arts are dismissed, it is like dismissing the Holy Spirit.  It’s hurtful to me and makes me sad that those in the faith community, seemingly so much of faith and in the faith community would dismiss these ideas, these gifts, would push them to the side.  There was so much potential and I had hopes for wonderful things to happen and blossom, but  a person’s own doubts and lack of courage have conspired to push aside that which the Holy Spirit shared and put forth.  That always makes me sad and I find it hurtful when what the Spirit gives is pushed aside, dismissed etc..  Perhaps it is because I have done so and wish I had not.  As I face the sadness what the Holy Spirit has shared being shoved aside, ignored and my own talents as well, I have to find a  different path to get to where the Holy Spirit wishes me to be, for my talents to be put to use, my artistic and creative talents, even my material.  All I can do is work on pushing past the sad and hope that there are those who can see the work of the Spirit in what I do, create, produce and put forth, ideas included and embrace that with gusto.

I could just forget all about it, sulk all that, but would God really be pleased? No, he would not.  I have shared what the Holy Spirit has given me to share with whom I felt it needed to be shared.  I can’t force anyone to adhere to what the Holy Spirit wishes to be done.  Since it seems that others are not going to be paying attention to the Holy Spirit, are not going to take charge of anything, are going to leave things to others to decide etc…, dot get it on different levels, I refuse to keep banging my head against the proverbial wall.  It’s just too frustrating, annoying etc…, so what do I do about things?  As much as I would like to help save something, like I sad I am not going to keep sharing what is given to me by the HS and have it tossed aside by butterflies and honeybees who are all over the map, all over the lace, a million different activities etc.., not focused.  I am going to focus my time on my own projects, ministry through my own projects.  I am going to focus on just writing and recording, getting my music, projects out to DJ’s, radio, here on my blog and hope for your support in following the blogs and hopefully if you find it in your heart financial support for either of these blogs, this one or my kaartist blog.  All I can do now is focus on my own projects, get my stuff out there and work on ministry through my own works.  All the rest, well, God is going to have to find some other way to get the message across because I have tried all I can to do so.  Not willing to keep banging my head against the wall.


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Life and Liberty, God Bless America
The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

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Do I Detour Due to the Dismissal of Others?

The Journey That is Life.

The Holy Spirit had stirred in me the goal of an arts ministry and of course again when anyone says ministry automatically the thought is church, religious institution.

Recently I had the privilege of working a concert series at a nearby church, one of the first Italian ones in the neighborhood, and seeing it had a lot of potential to grow into a full arts ministry, so I shared my ideas with one of the directors there of the program.  However, I am realizing that there is no long term planning there, nothing is organized for the long term and my ideas are though Holy Spirit given not going to be paid attention to, so what of what the Holy Spirit stirred in me?  Does this mean it was wrong, or what?  No, because ministry is not always about a church or religious institution.  The two pieces, new ones I put up in the early morning hours today brought 20 new followers to the kaartist blog, so they touched a cord.  This blog touches a cord.  One of my twitter followers suggested that I should market my songs to DJ’s that they would be great for events, and so would it be nice to be able to create a vibrant arts ministry in the church, well yeah, but if that other party is not focused enough is a butterfly, honeybee etc.. all over the map and can’t get their act together to create a long term plan, with long term budget, see the value of what I bring to the table in terms of ideas I have presented, talent etc.., not going to bang my head against the wall.  No, time to move on, and focus on ministry through these blogs, and taking up the suggestion made by that twitter follower of mine to market to DJ’s.   Not something that would have occurred to me offhand, but it is an avenue to reach people and inspire in some way, then whenever that star is reached it is reached and it’s not about reaching fame and fortune, about earning my daily bread, working my way to getting off the disability benefits.  Don’t get me wrong I am grateful the help has been there, but I really would prefer to be self reliant and I pray the arts, which is a great love of mine along with coaching and motivating intertwined will be the path to get there.  Ministry in a nutshell is about that, about inspiring, coaching, motivating, in Christ yes, but still it is that in a nutshell.  I hope that with my poetry, with my music whether secular or Christian, I achieve that, whether through the church or the Internet, however it happens, hope I get organized always, focused and streamlined enough always to do so.




What Do You When Talent, Gifts & Ideas Dismissed?

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

When the Holy Spirit gives you a vision for something, truly is from the Holy Spirit, you want to see it implemented of course, and when you see the venue right in front of you for it to be able to be implemented, it’s great.

However, what you may not count on is others interference and that leading others to doubt your abilities, your gifts and talents or others just not being courageous or whatever enough to implement what the Spirit has shared with you to share with them.  For any any number of reasons, due any number of ways of sabotage, the ideas shared are dismissed, pushed to a side, and your gifts, talents, not seen or dismissed.  If the other party is a butterfly and honeybee pollinating a million and one things, not focused, not helpful to the project which has boundless potential ever being a real success, or really taking off.  What do you do?  You go through all stages sad, angry, bargain with God to intervene etc…. and if nothing changes within a very short immediate window, though the hart is sad and though you may have to also leave friendships behind, including ones that had potential to blossom you have to move on.

I can see the potential of a certain venue and a project that has begun there blossoming into a full arts program for the church, and the Holy Spirit has blessed me with ideas, also original poetry, and songs.  I hope to to find the right home to  go to with the vision the Holy Spirit has given me for this arts ministry of poetry, song, literature reading, visual arts and theater that is faith based and spiritual secular, the goal being to share, preserve the Catholic and Mediterranean European Culture, all those values.   I also have to find the right partner, someone who is going to be focused, very focused on this, put their creative artistic philanthropy energies into this, for this to succeed and prosper, so the faith community prospers and we also earn our daily bread so to speak.   Any project, ministry etc.. has to have to have a core entity, goal something, that’s key.  Also,  unless you have the right people to appreciate what the Holy Spirit has shared with you and all your gifts, talents, you may as well be offering your vision etc.. do a brick wall or something like that because they won’t ever be able to appreciate any of it.  I tend to wear my heart, ideas etc… on my sleeve and share openly what the Holy Spirit gives me with those I connect with, but perhaps that is a mistake and one I need to correct for the future.  Perhaps I need to pray after receiving a vision, a stirring for the right people, partners and then when they come along then share the ideas with those people, so there is no sabotage etc.. and the vision can get implemented smoothly, efficiently and without delay.  A lesson perhaps I needed to learn.