Close Collaboration Possessiveness?

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

Some of us want partnership, collaborative, cooperative, synergy, intertwining for very good reasons.  However, that and speaking, sharing from the heart openly, freely and whenever free flowing is misinterpreted. 

I create strictly according to in the moment, at that moment Holy Spirit given and inspired material.  I don’t force anything, set time specifically aside to write songs or music or even my meditations.  I write and record things as they come on the spot when they come on the spot more often than not,  in terms of my own stuff.   However, I also have a strong sense of wanting to closely collaborate with others day to day, find those who will value my skill set as an artist and so much more.  Who will value that I wear my heart on my sleeve, will pry their own heart open, see wearing heart on the sleeve not as an evil thing, see my sharing what I think and feel for the greater good of the project, the relationship etc.. as a good thing, not an evil thing, or a possessiveness thing.  It doesn’t matter if it is professional or personal, to me there has to be communication, free flowing, open and from the heart, heart on the sleeve.  There has to be connection, cooperation, collaboration, really working as a team or nothing will work.  I don’t want to do lone ranger only and so when I make any kind of really positive, great connection I see no reason not to reach out, share, heart on my sleeve, be totally open with my ideas etc…, intertwine socially as well.  Why not?  It seems others don’t always take well to this, and view it as possessive, as perhaps I might have ulterior motives and withdraw, suddenly withdraw.  I know I am simply sharing, caring, reaching out and being authentic to myself in doing so, in seeking integrated collaboration etc…, but others don’t seem to always see it that way. Hmmm

I could stop being me, feel awful about being me, never reach out again, give up on ever finding solid partnerships to engage in creatively or otherwise, ones that are bold courageous, heart on the sleeve etc… I could do all of that, feel sad, depressed about it all, but that would mean life and the world would be deprived of my works, of what I could achieve and that is not an option.  If others choose to let their fears, paranoia etc… get in the way and withdraw, or walk away, okay, up to them, but I have to keep being me, reaching out, speaking from the heart so on so forth.


What To Do With Brick Walls?

The Journey That is Life.

When you have seen something heading for a crash, a ship headed for a crash, when someone has expressed frustration at the ship not going anywhere, being stuck in the middle of the ocean, if you care your reaction is to reach out and offer your observations etc..,, to want to help change that.  If you are like me, don’t do PC, just just speak from the heart, well just let it rip, say what is and let the chips fall where they may.  Sometimes a good thing, other times well depends.

Sometimes you have people who though they know that the way the sip is being steered is going to crash it, and they do need to make changes, when you do offer your observations, insight, cooperation, collaboration, caring, support etc…, they shut down.  They have a brick wall up, baggage etc… from a lifetime that wont let them do it, wont let them have any intimate collaboration, any real collaborative effort, with anyone, any real connection.  What happens when you give your observations etc… even though they agree with your assessments, after you offer ways to get the ship moving or keep it from crashing, want to work with them? Silence, total silence, static.  That silence can be very hurtful if you take it personally, if you determine it’s about you, when it isn’t.  It often is about them, their “stuff”, their baggage, issues etc.., not about you.  Unless you have been stalking with 50 calls a day etc… then it’s not you, not about you, about them.  They have not been able to come to terms with whatever you have said, put forward, including caring and support, even on a strictly friendship basis.  You may have to make a decision as to whether you wish to keep communication with them, or instead bypass them to communicate the second in command, for someone else on the job that can relay the info to them.  You may have to end up being a lone ranger in order to achieve what is necessary to keep that ship from crashing or to get the stagnated ship moving.  Is it fun being in a situation where your wearing your heart on your sleeve, being open with your communication, feedback, ideas is met with silence, perhaps due to others “stuff”? No, but it is what it is.  What can you do?  You can mediate to break up the negative energy.  You can keep the lines of communication open with that person in the hopes they get over whatever bee got into their bonnet so to speak, or you can decide you don’t deal with them and bypass them communication wise.  You have to decide which course of action you want to take and if you have to go it lone ranger to promote the organization, project, cohesively in a way of course that is fitting to the brand etc…okay then that is what you have to do.  If they wish to continue with driving the ship towards the rocks for a potential crash, hopefully what you do can offset it, or the impact of it.  If what they do keeps things stagnated on one end, hopefully what you do as lone ranger, not by choice by necessity. will.  When you care about something, you sometimes have to take initiative when others don’t see the importance of coordinating, synergy etc…

Though the silence is sad after feeling there was synergy, a chance for real connection, collaboration, cooperation, sharing on many levels including creative, I realize it is not about me, but about them.  I will have to make this journey alone in ministry for the organization and to have it thrive, as much as that makes me a bit sad, but that is the way it looks now.  It is sad that though there was agreement on assessing what needed to be done, there does not to be a willingness, an ability to truly synergize and coordinate. It is what it is and all I can do is do my best.

Speak Up and Still Be Supportive? Hmmm


Can you speak up about what you perceive, give your input and yet still be supportive? Can you have collaboration, true connection, integration etc… when the other person is too scared to connect on any level, really connect?  These are questions that we might find ourselves facing in life, so what is the answer? Well nothing in life is ever cut and dry, not really.

If you are sharing your views just that. sharing and doing so because you truly care and also at the same time recognize that the other person may not want to change what they are doing, even if it’s not working then okay.  One might not see changes, not right away, but at least you know you spoke from the heart, cared enough to speak, to give your assessment, suggestions etc…If that person determines you have valid points and goes with it, great and if they don’t, well say lots of prayers, do lots of meditating on the positive and do your job the best you can.  If at any point you truly feel in your heart, spirit and soul you can’t stay, then well, you can’t stay.  At lease you will know you shared from the heart what you felt needed to be shared.  They might not be ready to handle all that sharing, that caring, support, so you may get silence back initially, but that’s okay.  You just keep doing what you were meant to do, do your best and keep praying and meditating on the positive.  What if you are in a collaborative, joint effort situation, and connection, collaboration, really connecting, having free flow communication is important to you in order to really make a success of things in full., really knowing the other is important to you?  What if the other person is not really there because of life issues, past traumas, current ones, or whatever?  I am not a fan at this stage of life of doing things lone ranger as I call it.  I am really looking for people and projects that there will be a real connection, real in depth collaboration, connection etc…, really getting to know the persons involved in the projects I am involved with, at least the key players in the project.  It matters a great deal to me and I feel that it matters to the success of whatever the project is that there be strong mutual connection, collaboration etc…If the other person is not ready for that, I can’t force it, can’t pry them open to connect etc…I can only reach out and be myself, offer my full support, be the best me I can be, pray and meditate.  At some point hopefully the protective walls will come down and there will be full connection, in depth collaboration etc…, but until then all I can do is be me, do my work, share my gifts, pray and meditate.  I have to trust that I will have the wisdom to navigate the waters and create a safe harbor for collaboration, connection etc.. in depth.  


Biblical Reflection for Today


Today we look at Acts 1: 12-14 and the Gospel John 17:1-11 and these questions are good ones to ask ourselves, to reflect on in context of sacred scripture as guide.

  • What are the objects of exercise of Christ’s authority? Why does this matter in our understanding of Christ, spirituality and living life?
  • What state of mind, what condition of heart is necessary for the Holy Spirit to call our being home? How crucial is an open heart and having faced our truths, pains etc.. to this?
  • What does Jerusalem represent metaphorically, symbolically?
  • How do we discover and bring forth our gifts, our spiritual gifts, share what is in the heart to connect to God and others, bring it forth from the unconscious to the conscious constructively, in balance?
  • What did Jesus mean by: “And all things that are mine are thine, and thine are mine: and I am glorified in them”, metaphorically, symbolically and applied to daily life?
  • What is the meaning of: “and not one of them perished, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled”metaphorically, symbolically and applied to daily life?

Sacred scripture, the Bible can be a great source for prompting us to truly think about life, different issues, to really examine life, patterns, behaviors etc… from a sociological, psychological, spiritual and practical viewpoint.  It is a rich source of wisdom, when questions are put forth to make us think, such as these.


Whole Body Healing, Regeneration


Each Day we encounter energies, tensions etc.. on different levels, some are thrown at us externally and not so easy to deflect.  Others, we create by being fragmented, by not being wise stewards in our lives, by not having cohesion in how we manage things in our life, work, relationships, thus creating negative flow.  We create tensions etc.. by refusing to realize when we are on a wrong path and refusing to make changes for our greater good, happiness etc…, and even that of others in doing so.  I hope this helps to bring healing to you and also awareness of these things so you can and will make any necessary changes to your life etc…, very constructive ones.

Speaking Truth of Heart and Scriptures

The Journey That is Life.

Please support this blog if it is a light to you.  U may do so via paypal

The passages that the church looks at today are Acts 18:9-18 and the Gospel John 16:20-23.  Though there  is historical and theological context, there is also a life lesson context, a metaphysical context, a symbolic one, so I present these questions for you to ponder:

  • What is the metaphysical meaning of Paul’s going from Athens to Corinth?  What do each of these represent on different levels of consciousness and self?  Is this a journey you might need to make, perhaps from subconscious acceptance of certain truths to conscious acceptance, even if painful to face?
  • What mental attitude is represented by Paul shaking his raiment and saying, “Your blood be upon your own heads”? From a purely spiritual and consciousness levels perspective what is this about and how can it be applied to our own lives, living?
  • When this realization that the spiritual life is unlimited in its capacity of expression is established, what is the next step? How can this help us with the first two questions put forth?
  • What city represents constructive thought? What in our lives does so?  It could even be others who bring wisdom to the table to help you reflect and reconstruct in your vocation, in your personal life…..
  • Is Christ an afterthought in your life, or along with the Father and the Holy Spirit a solid guide?
  • As there is cohesion in the Trinity, synergy, not fragmentation, can we say the same about our lives in any sphere of it?  If not, how can we look to the Trinity to give us an example of cohesion in our projects, lives, vocational path etc..?

Speaking scriptural truth, holistically, not bending to our will or desire for it to be what we want, but what it is, is not easy in our world today.  It is also sometimes difficult to speak what is in our hearts to others, but the Trinity can teach us to trust with whom we can share what it is in our hearts etc…, it can teach us much, as can Paul’s courage.  He also gave a cohesive structure for the church, and cohesion is important.  I hope this helps you on your life journey in all areas of your life, to look at scripture and ask these questions.


Not Always Easy, But Keep the Faith!

How do we reconcile a holy faith with death and killing?How do we reconcile love with war, conflict, and suffering?How do we reconcile hope with apparently desperate, forlorn situations?How do the these seemingly contrasting paradigms fit together? These are some of the questions believers are often privately faced with or externally asked when the controversial…

via Trying to reconcile faith, hope, love with war and conflict: Memorial day Scriptures and reflections — Ahavaha

Is Organized Faith, Structure Prison? Hmmm, Not Really

light of Christ in the darkness with lightning

I have never been the most religious person, that is true.  I could not understand why, and as I look at the decline in the church, and I have returned to the fold, I wanted to take a look at this.

For me, without having realized it, though I always from when I was a child knew there had to be a big daddy for the earth, stars etc.. and though I constantly prayed in my own way, communicated with God, no one had to really teach me to pray, apparently I just from a very early age less than a year started “talking” looking upwards.  I guess I always had this understanding of something larger than creation.  What happened? My dad who used to say I was his princess and whom I adored walked out when I was seven, no family meeting to explain anything, nothing, just suddenly gone.  My world as I knew it had suddenly changed and that was tough to swallow for me and though I did not realize it at the time, subconsciously it affected my relationship with the faith, the church, God.  If it had happened later on when I would have understood that mom and dad should not have ever come together in the first place, none of it was my fault, it would have been different.  However what I didn’t realize that I realize now is that his leaving when I was not at a point to understand and the way it was done really messed up my relationship with God.  Whether I knew it or not, it created a rift between me and my creator, as well as the church.   I couldn’t trust God, how could I, not really, not completely with total surrender in prayer or anything, not surrender in that you don’t actively also move to change what has to be changed, no.  I mean I couldn’t trust God would be there for me, if He wouldn’t then why would any man?  Why would I think any man could love me and make any kind of commitment to me and why would I think, if I had caused my dad to leave, which I didn’t but really getting it is not all that easy to do, that truth,  I would be “enough” in any way to make a commitment to the church, to God?  Then there was the issue of the dependency my mom had on me because she didn’t speak English well, so I had really not had a life, created a life for myself, pursued my dreams, had run around in circles because in the back of my mind what kind of a daughter would I be to abandon her, that’s what dad did,? The notion of dependency on the Creator, on Christ was a bit of a tough one to fathom.  I didn’t want dependency, not to be dependent, nor anything like that placed on me.  It sacred me as I had had that with mom for so long.  Take all this with a creative side and a strong personality and likes to beat to her own drum, along with society saying faith and religion are irrational, not a good recipe for faith and faith affiliation.  Rules and regulations we can see as a prison, someone giving you guidelines as being told what to do, so for me religion and church were not something I felt comfortable with, not really.  What changed?

I realized that fundamental truth about my dad and I know he and mom never should have married to begin with, so it ended as it would have family interference or not. I also realized that being part of a group does not negate my individuality, the core of who I am because the core of my personality, who I was meant to be God gave me.  Who I am fundamentally in my heart and as an artist is who God made me to be, when you take away any crap life can do to you, or you allow it to do to you, to change the good you that He meant you to be.  Being affiliated with the Catholic church and honoring natural order of nature, sexuality etc… does not negate anything, nor does providing solid guidelines.   My being in faith group that has a wealth of tradition and guidelines is a blessing, not a problem.  It provides a community to work with that can help me focus and discipline myself with my gifts, my life etc…There is a lot to be said after careful prayerful consideration about being part of a faith group and institution that provides clear, solid guidelines to life.  You may not agree 100%, maybe 95%, but a solid fundamental base and community is what we require, not global, but local, for future generations to thrive and a respect for law and order, civics, Constitutionalism and these things can not be accomplished by sheer individuality and each person deciding life, laws etc.. as they wish along the way.  I realize that now and am grateful I have a spiritual home to go back to and have a solid structure of people, community.  Structured faith does not require giving up individuality, not when that group is truly of sound theology, philosophy and wisdom, while still honoring the gifts, talents of the individual.