Realistic Optimism, Focus, a Grown Up Thing
Many times one would like to go back, relive youth and do all one didn’t do in their youth, reclaim dreams not realized and all that jazz. What happens?
Oy, Mamma Mia! I didn’t see every dream realized in my life, in my younger years, now at over 50, I am looking at life from the point of view of hopefully maturity and that means being a focused optimistic realist. I love to write and perform, as much as I love to inspire and teach, but realistically, I have no voice training, am not trained in terms of musical instruments though I like to fiddle with the piano and keyboard and can get some decent music at times. I have done nicely performing poetry and my songs have been licensed recently via the Harry Fox agency, and some good stuff has happened with my songs, artistic gifts. This coaching blog has been a blessing to others it seems, and is growing. I hope to have live seminars in NYC soon, hopefully this Fall that you can attend and we can meet in person. However, realistically, for me to think that at this point in life I am going to become some major performing artist is pie in the sky. Would I be Optimistically Realistic to think that with promotion of my music to DJ’s and with it being posted, even samples of it online, I might get some local performance gigs? Yes, of course. Would I be happy to do local performances NYC, and maybe if Florida would have me and pay all expenses, sure, why not, but not June-September. Would I be smart to be all over the map musically and with coaching? NO! I have been told my best work is when I do with my natural style which is surprisingly R&B/Soul, and as for the Coaching, with my own life path, my best niche is Motivational and Spiritual Coaching. Realistic Optimism is a great thing, and with focus and planning that can make for a great life. The spotlight of fame and huge fortune may not be very realistic and trying to relive my lost youth, to recapture any lost years or lost anything is a game only fools play. Optimistic Realist and wise ones look at where they are at and work very well with that to create something awesome for the now and the future, to leave a very distinct, very focused legacy, a very mature legacy.
Some may think why realism? Why does that need to be part of anything? Why can’t I just be super optimistic, free spirit and full of faith, roll the dice live in the moment etc.. and all will be well, why do I need both realism and optimism? For one like I said, called being a grown up! I also did some research to find out why you need both. If you are going to process and face problems etc.. in life, you had better friggin have a good dose of both and not be a snowflake or a “free spirit” butterfly that runs whenever their is an issue, or a bunch of lousy memories thinking that will solve it. Also when there is a blind optimism about life, there is this tendency to think quantity not quality of everything, that includes activities and friendships, so one never has any intimate close connections or friendships to anyone. One may know a whole slew of people be the life of the party, but not be able to have a true intimate, raw, know you inside out, heart on the line connection. The article points out and I would agree: “So when it comes to optimism or pessimism, “hope for the best, prepare for the worst” is an ideal motto. To achieve that you must be honest with yourself about your usual approach to life. Discover the ways in which your past may be distorting your present. Doing this can transform your grip on the truth for the better. By far the greatest cause of the emotional disturbances that make us avoid reality is our childhood relationships with our parents. Surprisingly few people have an understanding of the true role they played in their family,” I myself am still exploring that further.
I am glad I am not a pessimist, nor a false unrealistic over the top optimist, but rather I would hope a grown up optimistic realist and that I always well be and a focused one that looks at and for quality, never quantity when it comes to people, relationships, and activities in my life.