Often we think we have long buried our past, cut cords with all the toxic baggage, or so we think. Have we, have we truly buried the baggage?
We may think we have, but that baggage can remain, residuals can remain like a shadow over us and our lives, relationships, preventing us even from trusting, so we never for a bond of raw depth with anyone ever again or ever. Those who come from broken homes, or those whose marriages or first great loves ended in a tragic, painful way or with a harsh betrayal, can find that though they think they have gotten over it, are past it, residuals still exist. There is a shadow self as metaphysics and psychology would refer to it and that shadow self can become quite cynical, can overcompensate in different ways, like never wanting quiet or to be alone, fearing the quiet, fearing being every in stillness and solitude to face that shadow of residual or unspoken of pain. Is there a way to make peace with the past, with the shadow self? Yes there is and there is a way to grow up, it be okay to grow up. What needs to happen? Truths must be faced. Yeah, I know not exactly fun stuff huh, but best get it over with and face what truths must be faced. Steps to actually healing the crap past and all the crap baggage:
- Learn to be alone with you and face yourself, shortcomings, not so great decisions all that jazz, suck it up
- Don’t run, or avoid, accept, deal with and confront (don’t mean aggressive, but assertive, wise and confident confront)
- Remember the suffering of the past is not the past, but how we deal with it in the present and how we deal with the result of any decisions we have made and make
- Find the root decision, root pattern of behavior that creates the chaos etc.., correct that and the suffering pattern can cease
Suffering is not noble, no matter what any theology professor etc… says, and perpetual suffering even less. It is your choice whether you suffer or grow up often times because suffering, emotional and spiritual suffering, can be a result often of our not being willing to be alone with ourselves to face our own frailties etc.., to face and confront truths, and change patterns we have to change, to grow the hell up! I hope in life we all learn to face what needs facing constructively and live well emotionally, spiritually on all levels.