What To Do With Brick Walls?
When you have seen something heading for a crash, a ship headed for a crash, when someone has expressed frustration at the ship not going anywhere, being stuck in the middle of the ocean, if you care your reaction is to reach out and offer your observations etc..,, to want to help change that. If you are like me, don’t do PC, just just speak from the heart, well just let it rip, say what is and let the chips fall where they may. Sometimes a good thing, other times well depends.
Sometimes you have people who though they know that the way the sip is being steered is going to crash it, and they do need to make changes, when you do offer your observations, insight, cooperation, collaboration, caring, support etc…, they shut down. They have a brick wall up, baggage etc… from a lifetime that wont let them do it, wont let them have any intimate collaboration, any real collaborative effort, with anyone, any real connection. What happens when you give your observations etc… even though they agree with your assessments, after you offer ways to get the ship moving or keep it from crashing, want to work with them? Silence, total silence, static. That silence can be very hurtful if you take it personally, if you determine it’s about you, when it isn’t. It often is about them, their “stuff”, their baggage, issues etc.., not about you. Unless you have been stalking with 50 calls a day etc… then it’s not you, not about you, about them. They have not been able to come to terms with whatever you have said, put forward, including caring and support, even on a strictly friendship basis. You may have to make a decision as to whether you wish to keep communication with them, or instead bypass them to communicate the second in command, for someone else on the job that can relay the info to them. You may have to end up being a lone ranger in order to achieve what is necessary to keep that ship from crashing or to get the stagnated ship moving. Is it fun being in a situation where your wearing your heart on your sleeve, being open with your communication, feedback, ideas is met with silence, perhaps due to others “stuff”? No, but it is what it is. What can you do? You can mediate to break up the negative energy. You can keep the lines of communication open with that person in the hopes they get over whatever bee got into their bonnet so to speak, or you can decide you don’t deal with them and bypass them communication wise. You have to decide which course of action you want to take and if you have to go it lone ranger to promote the organization, project, cohesively in a way of course that is fitting to the brand etc…okay then that is what you have to do. If they wish to continue with driving the ship towards the rocks for a potential crash, hopefully what you do can offset it, or the impact of it. If what they do keeps things stagnated on one end, hopefully what you do as lone ranger, not by choice by necessity. will. When you care about something, you sometimes have to take initiative when others don’t see the importance of coordinating, synergy etc…
Though the silence is sad after feeling there was synergy, a chance for real connection, collaboration, cooperation, sharing on many levels including creative, I realize it is not about me, but about them. I will have to make this journey alone in ministry for the organization and to have it thrive, as much as that makes me a bit sad, but that is the way it looks now. It is sad that though there was agreement on assessing what needed to be done, there does not to be a willingness, an ability to truly synergize and coordinate. It is what it is and all I can do is do my best.