When we think of focus, maturity, grown up, stability, and if you say that to a “young person” they roll their eyes and think “dull city”, no way do they want to hear that. In today’s snowflake climate, yes I am using that word, get over it, no one wants to do any of that, get focused in a good way, mature, grow up and take full accountability for their life, streamline their activity etc… For the longest time in my life, neither did I.
I believed that commitment to one thing, making a choice for one path in career, in spirituality etc.., even marriage, that major covenant, scared me to death, though I had not realized it, not really, not to what extent I had not grown up enough to be able to be like an eagle and soar to achieve my full potential and the path I was meant to follow. The path I was meant to follow was that of ministry through the arts, while honoring my culture. However, I now realize that in order to have true freedom, I have to have true structure, clarity of path, of boundaries, streamlining of activity, of thought, philosophy and worldview. There has to be clarity in all these things, not based on what anyone says I ought to have, not because I want to be liked or want to “feel like I belong” to a click or anything. It has to come from true divine inspiration, meditative prayerful contemplation and study, so there is a inductive and deductive, also heart and spirit conclusion to my worldview, my vocational path understanding, to releasing my fears, baggage, so that I don’t ever do busy for the sake of busy. Is my growing up etc…. dull and boring? NO, just the opposite.
Now I am focused on my catholic and Italian heritage, on music and the arts within that community, really delving into it, giving it my all, connecting to it heart body spirit and soul. With this I can start to focus my music on the deeply spiritual, on the faith based, and my activities can be focused on really exploring and enjoying my culture, connecting to others who love the culture, who revel in it. That can be very inspiring to me on many levels. I can have peace and enjoy life day to day, smell the coffee so to speak and though the fibromyalgia is ever present, it doesn’t really have to take over life, even if I have to make adjustments to accommodate. With a structure of self discipline, of decluttering my life on many levels and focusing it, streamlining it, I can focus my creativity, my energies, really flourish in what I am meant to do. For my personal life, for connecting with my twinflame soulmate, that will make a huge difference because I will likely be in the right place to connect with that person and they with me, so everything I am meant to have in my life, to achieve, I will. If I were scattered, fragmented still that would not be the case, not be likely, so growing up, maturing, focusing, streamlining all of that does not mean dull, or boring it means the opposite. Growing up, focusing, clarifying once and for all on a number of things was a true blessing and I pray I will thus be a blessing to many others in my lifetime.