Think Like U or The Other Person?

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

When you are going into a meeting to negotiate anything, to present a plan, anything like that, what is key to that?  Most of us might think “telling them what I want and need, so I can get what I want and need”  Yeah, that is part of it.  The first thing you need to do is get into their head.  Huh? I bet your thinking to yourself.

If you don’t get into their head even from a common sense point of view, you will be up stream with no paddle, looking quite the fool.  For example next week I am going to be speaking to the Monsignor and the Music Director of our church, the Cathedral which is who we merged with in 2015, so a number of things have to be approved by them, including any liturgical music and bible study program and such.  I put something together and sent it to them yesterday so they would have time to look it over, and I pointed out it is a springboard for us to use, to work from.  When I wrote this I placed myself in their place and thought what are the key questions they are going to be thinking and most often the questions an entity is thinking are;

  1. How is this getting funded, and without burdening us?
  2. . Where is the talent, human resource etc… going to come from?
  3. How is all this going to get managed?

I made sure to address all of this as best I could in the plan.  I also had to think like a Monsignor, like a Church Music Director, like someone running church operations.  From their perspective, what is a church’s priority?  Long term devout Catholic members, multiple generations of members, evangelization of the faith, The priority of the projects etc… has to come based on that, so since I have a Cantor ready to go and possibly a pianist/organist as well, that should be the first thing funded, and with having an origination ready to provide us with talent for choir and our monthly concert series, work withy us, provided we do things with solid planning, it will make sense to start with the cantor, pianist, then the other stuff.  That is what I am proposing in my plan.  What of the sponsors?  Again, from their point of view what do you have ready for us to invest in? The cantor and pianist/organist are ready to go.  When you are looking to get funded etc…, yes you should do what you dream of doing and the plan etc… needs to reflect that, but you also need to get into their head and think from their point of view and address any questions, concerns they are going to have, do your best to anticipate them, and address them in your plan or at any meeting ahead of time.  Be not afraid, pursue your dreams, and try to see from the other side of the meeting table what you need to address from their point of view ahead of time and find a way to address it that you will be okay with, that wont compromise your and your partner/colleague’s dream, vision.  Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.


Confederate Etc…Stay? Heck Yeah!

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

I have more than one family tree.  My tree consists of four grandparents and my parents were cousins.  My grandfather was on dad’s side though he was a model citizen here in the USA, was not so in the old country of Italy, oh no. His daughter, my aunt, many swore was Satan’s child, vindictive bitch sad to say.  Her brothers, not model citizens, except for my dad who couldn’t hurt a fly, break a law even if you twisted his arm, but RIP, was a bit of a wuss, never quite stood up to his kin, his sister, a bit too much of a mamma’s boy.  My mom’s dad, a bit of a temper on him, no saint, my mom’s brothers and sisters, all good souls, and her mom, and mom’s mom, model’s of charity and goodness. The family tree is not perfect, got some real blemishes I could tear up dad’s photos that I have in my wallet, could tear up all photos of me as a kid with Dad’s family, but I refuse.  I don’t have to like that there are all these blemishes, all these stains.  I can hate all of that, hate what any of them did in their life, and that’s fine, but what I must never do is erase evidence of their existence in my history, in my life because then I create a lie, a false life, a false narrative.  I won’t do that.  My mom was very much hurt by my dad leaving and by them in different ways, so she had done her best to erase them, pretend they never existed and I respect her right to do that, but she has also never been able to forgive, and it has hurt her, this inability to accept them as part of history, our history, this inability to forgive.  How does this influence my view on Confederate and Holocaust symbols etc…? It does so 100%.  

History must be told, preserved good bad and ugly, visibly so and conveyed from a human emotional and also purely factual intellectual point combined.  It must not be eradicated, wiped off the map pretending it never happened, it did.  What counts is that we stick to the facts, even within the emotional context of it all, and we learn greatly from it, that we come to a point of unity rather than greater division.  Tearing down history because one group is offended by it is not unifying at all, and they should understand that and find a way to come to terms with that history, still keeping its’ existence visible to all as a lesson in time.  Also, a good point was made in this article , the point being where does it end? Mike Huckabee brought out a good point about well if abortion clinic offend Christians, can we just go destroy them?  What if Conservatives feel offended by Roosevelt as the author of the New Deal and Progressivism?  Can we just to tear his statues down? Atheists hate God, Christ, Christianity, religion, so can they demand all faith symbols, all churches with crosses be torn down because crosses offend them?  Can Muslims make similar demands and start tearing stuff down?  This opens up the door to anarchy and it violates our Constitution.  Erasing history is not something the Feds or even state officials have the right or authority to do.  As much as I might not be thrilled with everyone in my family, their background, I don’t have the right to erase them from my family history or tree because like or not they are the family God gave me.  Does that mean I have to speak to them, hang out with them, be buddy buddy, no.  However, I don’t get to erase them from history, my history, not how it works, not how life works, or how history works.  Hitler, Tito, Stalin etc.. they did horrific things, but we must never forget them, those events and the horror of Communism, Socialism etc…, those symbols must be visible to all always and forever.  The same goes for our Confederacy and history of slavery, not pretty but it is our history, part of our fabric and must never be erased or buried, ever.  If it offends, sorry, tough, get therapy, create a successful life, show you are not a bitter, chip on your shoulder snowflake big baby!!! Don’t try to escape by erasing anything from history, or the public square!



God’s Words Speak in Any Language

This Psalm is a staple of the faith, The Lord is my Shepard etc,,,, but even if it weren’t, and even though I don’t understand the language, if it were evening, low lights a candle or two, or three quiet still of the night, even a quiet Sunday afternoon, God’s words can still penetrate the heart, spirit and soul.   If you happen to find yourself on vacation, somewhere where you don’t speak the language, even a Jewish Temple, an Orthodox Church, don’t be afraid to go in, because God will speak to you no matter what the language being used that day.  


Seeing It Through

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.


Life is a rose with thorns, it is never just the rose, and we must accept the thorns as we embrace the rose at times.  It does not mean that we must allow the thorns to piece us or that we must necessarily bleed to where we lose sight of the rose, the beauty of the rose.

Sometimes the Lord will call us to something, to a vocation, a calling, a project a path, something that will be a beautiful rose with so much potential, so much potential for growth and faith development, but have thorns and we can get deflated, we can get discouraged.  Some might even see that others seem more apt to move thing along, to know what to do with the situation etc…, have a better grasp of things, feel they can’t do this, while other person seems to feel easy breezy know exactly what needs to be done and how, the whole enchilada.  The Lord may have you in a situation where you see clearly what has to be done etc.., the other person/s don’t and it’s frustrating, so you lose sight of the rose, see only the thorns that pierce your heart with frustration and anxiety.  That has been the case with me and a current endeavor the Lord has given me, a gift, a rose, beautiful rose with so much potential to blood into a full garden of roses.  I can’t see that garden bloom if I walk away, if I have no firm staying power, so I have to stay, nurture the garden of roses.  Even if there are thorns, I have to shield myself with the Golden Armor of God, with Prayer, Meditation, Faith and move forward.  I can not give up, can not walk away, have to see this through for myself, for the church, for this great gift and opportunity that God has given me.  There are some really great people I am seeing coming to the church wanting to work with us and teaming up with them, great stuff can happen, and I would hate to lose that opportunity because of a thorn or two, because of others not getting it, not getting what’s needed for the church to thrive and succeed.  I would really hate to see that happen. I will pray, meditate, work around all thorns, obstacles etc…. and thank the Lord every day for this gift, opportunity to use my gifts for his glory and for the faith community and my heritage.


Won’t Apologize For Being Tough Cookie

soaring eagle

I realize I can be a lot like a hurricane, a tropical storm, a strong wind, all those things, and I can be a tough cookie when working on any project, can really be a tough one.  To those who take life as easy breezy, whatever so what it happens when it happens, want to fly by the seat of my pants, don’t see any reason for planning way ahead, weather any storm as it comes, I can be a handful.  I can be in your face, hawk flying over you, hovering all that. Should I apologize, hmmm…

Some might think I should, but I won’t.  I won’t apologize for being me, for being a tough cookie who has learned that flying by the seat of your pants is a bad way to do businesses and makes you look like a fool.  People will walk away if you don’t have your act together, so now I want to make sure that in any venture I engage in I have my act together, and that everyone I am dealing with has their act together.  This week when I meet with a particular artist, and arts director, I want to make sure that I have all the elements together for this meeting.  I don’t want anything left to chance.  I want to make sure that we have a clear path laid out before us of direction for the organization.  I don’t want her to think we don’t have our act together.  I don’t want what I have deemed another “Eugenia Moment”.  I don’t want to have anyone back out, or cancel or anything like that because we are not fully prepared.  Am I a hovering hawk, tenacious in wanting answers ASAP, and all that stuff?  Hell yeah, you bet!  Do I apologize for it?  Hell NO!! I expect people to have it together, and myself to have it together, for all the pieces to be in place before meetings, before doing any event, before anything.  Flying by the seat of my pants may have been cute years and years, ions ago, now it wouldn’t be cute, it would be foolish and make me look foolish and incompetent and I refuse to do that to myself.  I refuse to work that way, to be put in that position, so I can be a handful, but I make no apologies for that, never will. 


Consistent Noncuranza, Immaturity?

a dark room

There is a phrase in Italian Noncuranza, which refers to not giving a damm, not caring, whatever, that kind of attitude, ignoring things, issues etc… Is it a problem, big one?  Well…, yeah.  

Granted, there are times when life can get nuts and we don’t get to things, to emails etc.. to respond, or to sort things out in a timely manner.  However, if one sees this pattern of ignoring, not responding, of noncuranza consistently, then something is screwy in St. Louie and wherever you happen to be.  Something is not right, just not. We then have to wonder, what is the root of this noncuranza?  The root could be any of these:

  1. Immaturity, not having a clue on what Italians would call il galateo, etiquette
  2. Burying ones head in the sand, not wanting to deal with the issue and thus not wanting to deal with you
  3. Not having answers to what is going on or any definitive anything about it organized, maybe too many ideas not enough focus, hence number 2
  4. Don’t want to be bothered until they want to be bothered with it, or work on it until they want to work on it, no matter how close it cuts to things, time wise etc…
  5. They may think you should just be able to go ahead and take care of it, not realizing that no, it has to be direct collaboration, coordination for it to work, duh

Some may say that any of these are legitimate reasons for this noncuranza, this non responsiveness.  However, if one is working on long term impact projects with another, that requires very strong day to day coordination and collaboration for things to run smoothly, then no, none of these are legitimate reasons for the noncuranza.  It puts the other person in a position of feeling like they are hitting a brick wall in what they are doing, trying to do for the organization, or project.  This will end up leading to that person walking away because they won’t want to deal with brick walls.  What do you do in this situation?  You try your best to get the message across in a non aggressive way that this noncuranza and lack of timely response or response i not okay.  If that doesn’t work, you can go lone ranger in making decisions and implementing stuff, which can cause friction, but if you have sent emails etc.. and you can keep a log of what you have done, then you can explain why you had to do it.  If it really affects your mood, really gets you down etc.., starts to make you miserable having to deal with this continuously and it is an option, you may have to walk away.  It may pain you, but you may end up feeling the frustration is not worth the impact on your well being, especially if you are passionate about the project etc…  If you are, it will get you down in the long run to have to deal with this.  If it’s important to you, very much so but not to them apparently and the noncuranza is continuous, that is not a good thing for anyone.  Pray, yes, keep insisting on what needs to be done and in a timely manner, but if no change comes after a certain time, a decision may have to be made as to what do to, sad as it might be.