a dark room

Sometimes fibromyalgia can be compared to being in a dark room.  You make plans, want to, but then at the same time, the fibromyalgia is so unpredictable.  Add to that the fact that now my 93 year old mom is starting to forget, leave the gas on, and adding more stress, something not good for anyone with fibro. Today I missed out on a day of heritage celebration because of the fibro messing with my memory in a sense.

I have set my cell phone alarm to go for doctor appointment before, since the alarm on the dresser clock doesn’t work any number of times.  However, I was worried after mom again left the stove on and I then went in to get something and saw she had, and the shift in weather, made for a horrible night, so I set the alarm settings on my phone, but never saved them, so the alarm this morning never went off.  If mom wakes up and she knows I have plans she will wake me if I have had a good night’s sleep, my blood pressure was high, sugar was off, arthritis pain acted up or just knows I really want to be there, but she had not slept well, , so she didn’t wake up either.  I could get very discouraged, get all down and depressed, which wont help at all.  Instead, I am blogging, listening to music that uplifts me, inspires me and I am planning on my activities for tomorrow, including a class in Music Appreciation at my coop, in the community room.  This is not the first time that because of Fibromyalgia I have had to either do last minute cancelations or stuff like this has happened and it likely won’t be the last.  What matters here is how I respond to these moments, these “crisis” moments, and if I choose to see them as crisis.  Another example, I will do all I can to help a church I feel strongly about saving to thrive, but if after all has been tried it still folds, I can’t have a pity party for the church, what I can do is figure out how to make my faith life stronger and make the faith stronger.  I can honor my heritage daily in different ways and it’s up to me to find constructive ways to do so.  Life and fibromyalgia will throw curveballs and yet it’s not the curveballs that are the issue, it’s how I respond, that is the issue.

Amen