When a marriage is totally dead, can not be revived is toxic to one or both, is creating ill health etc… and must be dissolved, it is never a happy moment, that moment of realization that this is what must take place, but once you do realize it, then what? As a child of divorce, not an amicable one, with mom still expressing her bitter thoughts and inability to forgive to this day and making me very uncomfortable and feeling caught in the middle, I am going to discuss this topic.
My advice to both parties to begin with, put your friggin big boy and big girl pants on. Yes, it sucks when stuff ends, when after putting time and energy into something it dies and has to be walked away from, but newsfalsh you are not the first and you are not going to be the last that is dealing with that situation, so cut the pity party. What do you do? GET A GOOD LAWYER, NOT ONE OF VENGEANCE, one who will be objective, fair and make sure you are, and your soon to be ex is. Get very clear, very centered, very fast, very grown up very fast, very practical very fast, and figure how to move on with dignity, nobility and self respect. Meditate, pray, put together a plan for moving forward and then stick to it. Also, get a good lawyer, even a good pro bono lawyer, and with the Internet, you can research and find a licensed with good reviews pro bono lawyer, even with angies list you can find a lawyer with good reviews in your areas. If you have kids, for goodness sakes, children, stay in adult mode, don’t care how old your kids are, leave them out of your war, it’s your war, not theirs, don’t make it theirs, don’t make it so they have to choose sides, if you do, you are truly losers in every sense in the situation and so are they. This is my two cents of advice as a child of divorce, not a friendly one. I also wanted to research and so I am sharing this article.