Much of my life, and I wasn’t consciously aware of it, I was trying to prove I was worthy, I mattered, I was somebody and all that junk, who I was, what I did mattered. Problem with that is that in not realizing I already was somebody of great worth by virtue of being a Child of God, once accepting Christ, Consciousness of Christ, fully, had I done that straight up, not going in circles, I was very much loved, appreciated, and wanted. It didn’t matter if my dad, his family hadn’t wanted me, or my family thought any less of me for any reason, didn’t think I was up to snuff because I was artistic more than buried in books, philosophical conservative more than academic liberal, and the list goes on. I missed out on a lot of opportunities to develop my craft as a songwriter and vocalist because I didn’t think I could make it, really had what it took, not really and there was no encouragement anywhere around not where it really counted for me, so I thought. I never understood that no major gestures or larger than life stuff needed to happen etc… for me to make a difference. I could make a difference by saying hello, smiling, by speaking Gospel truth, with a poem, a song, any number of ways, taking a photo and posting it, that inspires, sure it may not win awards and it may not get me to Hollywood, not that I would want to hang there with those people, yuk, but saying, might not get me in the so called big leagues, but it can still make a huge difference to someone. It can ignite a beautiful memory that takes them out of depression, who know what that photo, poem, simple song can do, what that hello and smile can do. Maybe I don’t do it perfectly, get it perfectly right, and the fibromyalgia means I don’t do what I used to be able to do, or to it with as much gusto and energy as I used to, which is not do to laziness, contrary to what some might think, but due to the fibro fatigue, but that’s okay. I just need to show up for life, trust in the Holy Spirit, and let myself be guided in my gifts, and let the rest flow. We have so many ways big and small we can make a difference, so never feel that just because you are doing something extraordinary that the whole world knows about, you are not making a difference, you might be making more of a difference in people lives than you know.
Shalom and Amen