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I am a big fan of the show “Everybody Loves Raymond” and in a way Frank and Marie Barrone, well they represent the real and imperfect relationship.  They fought, they disagreed, but they kept it real, no phoney baloney there.  Not saying to be like that, but I am saying that couples who try to be perfect, almost like Barbie and Ken dolls, or never address any issues, almost smiling, always seem lovey dovey, you have to wonder how real are they being, how authentic and what’s not being said, addressed that needs to be?  I am not talking fighting in an abusive way, talking disagreeing, even a raised voice once or twice, once in a while, each being able to be open about their feelings on any given subject and decision the family is seeking to reach.  One thing you never do in any discussion, any fight with a partner or even kids, family is hit below the belt, and if there is stuff that has not been addressed from the past, address it, but address it holistically in connection to what is happening now.   You need to have discussion periodically about family finances, key family stuff that does affect the overall well being of the family, and it’s okay to disagree with each other, just don’t undermine each other in front of or around the kids, big NOOOOOOO!!  Have enough of a functioning brain not to do that, please.  Don’t avoid, repress and try to be perfect because that’s not erality, not life, not people, not real people. 

Amen

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