Change or Inspire to Change?
We have heard it said that love can move mountains and change a person, but is that accurate to say, in other words can you really force anyone to change, make anyone change, force life, people to go in a direction contrary to the direction it is anointed to go in? Should you for that matter? When we think of transforming lives, persons for the greater good, or even society, very noble, but can we really force change, and is that a good thing always? We see the change of subjective truth, reality and morality, society forcing change on this front and what that has done to society, family. Even at the individual level, if you want a person to change their behavior patterns, negative ones, destructive ones, is the best way to push and try and force it, or to be a positive example of what a happy, healthy, life of constructive, wise, sacred wisdom choices looks like? There are some things we need to consider before jumping in to automatically change someone overnight and an article I came across, a few of them really stood out to me.
Outlook, we have different outlooks and viewpoints that are sometimes based on our life experiences, which might be vastly different and so it might be a good idea if we tried to understand why that other person views the world as they do. If their family has come from a history and personal experience of constant persecution, they might see a boogey man around every corner. We might think it’s silly, but not to them, so understanding that might help to figure out an approach. Motivation, what’s your motivation? Do you want them to change because you genuinely want what’s best for them, or a selfish ulterior motive? might want to check that because motive matters. The energy you are putting into trying to change them by force will only take away from any progress you could be making with yourself and your life, which could be an example to them, which cold inspire change. You’ve heard the saying “Be careful what you wish for”. Well, if you don’t understand why they see it as they do, have a very selfish motive for wanting to see changes in their lives etc…you may end up with changes that you then find are not what you expected and you may end up regretting having forced changes. Any change, transformation has to come from within. That doesn’t mean you can’t inspire through words, actions etc.. in your own life, but any change anyone makes, even your own kids, it has to come from within, from their own free will. Pray, meditate, be a great example, admit also when you screw up, but also be an example of growing , learning, changing for the better. That is the best way we can change anyone and by setting boundaries of what behavior we will and will not tolerate in our lives. Be an example, don’t force, manipulate, just live and have clear boundaries that won’t waiver.
Shalom and Amen