I had a dream and that dream was of one who was a major part of my past. I had not really thought of them for a while, but I guess there are those who touch our lives so deeply, have such an impact for good or not, or a mixed bag, but so deeply that they truly are a part of us forever. How do I feel about this?
Mixed bag really. In a way I feel sad because we got it wrong in how we dealt with “us” the situation, relationship etc.. and it had potential to be perhaps even a great friendship, but we screwed up. I am so sad because I think about the fact that we are so opposite, so opposite in our worldview, so I wonder if we did come together, if this dream were a premonition, foreknowledge, how would we reconcile that, and if we could. Then there is also a sense of sweetness that the bond is so strong, even years later I have such a dream. I also have to acknowledge that there is a pain associated with this relationship pain caused and received. I can’t ignore that, and if I were to honor a pledge I made to this person, I would have to truly reconcile that pain, along with any loving feelings, couldn’t just ignore it, neither could they ignore any residual hurt they felt in my regards. All that would have to be addressed. Any fears, insecurities about ourselves and each other would have to be courageously spoken and addressed. We weren’t ready to love each other, even if we did back then, now, perhaps we could, perhaps we could love, accept unconditionally, not try to fix the other, address what needs addressing and simply work on being the best me each of us can be, grow together. Perhaps, or perhaps I continue to work on myself and continue t move on. We shall see if the dream I had is a foreshadowing, a foreknowledge, and how I navigate it, we shall see.
Shalom and Amen