Are you like the IRS in terms of your life, constantly scrutinizing every aspect of your life, of the could have, should have, if only etc…? Are you your own worst critic and nightmare? Well, join the club. You are not alone, and I used to be that way. I have had a hard time not letting my past mistakes be a wall that kept me stuck in that past and not moving forward in the way I truly felt I should. I know that no one can move me forward but me. Yes people can encourage, guide etc.., but ultimately through daily spiritual practice, wellness, meditation, prayer, forgiving self in the knowledge that the Creator has forgiven me and wishes me to live a better, wiser healthier life, make wise choices for my own sake, I can let that wall completely crumble, but I know it’s not going to happen overnight. Still if I never get started, it never will, which is why joining the gym was important to me, and starting the yoga, regular exercise will be important, shift the energy, mindset, and thus life. Doesn’t mean a perfect life, but one not stuck in a loop of auditing myself and my life constantly based on past mistakes, learning from that, moving forward and not repeating those mistakes, making better choices, wiser ones. That will mean figuring out what to let go of whether that’s people, places, particular belief structures. The one thing I can never release is a belief in God and the overall holistic understanding of life lived according to the Ten Commandments. God is just logical for me, as nothing could have been created, organized etc.. even the laws of gravity and science without a brilliant mind and seeing the human struggle of good and evil Biblical understanding of life, even if strictly at a metaphysical level is what makes sense and is logical. Certain things will probably always remain a part of my life, but I am at place in life where I am looking at things from a wellness and holistic perspective more than a theology perspective, so for example certain biblical truths make sense from a wellness and science viewpoint for me anyway. For others it may not be that way, but I can only believe what I trust in my core being to be true. Even if organized religion, or religious bureaucracy , the uber liberal direction of the Roman Catholic Church doesn’t sit well with me and is not appealing to me, nor the layers of bureaucracy, and I may let that part go, doesn’t mean there is nothing of value to learn from the traditional teachings. Reincarnation, that just doesn’t jive for me, this endless loop of coming and going, back and forth etc.., meditation, a certain detachment, as Jesus taught, in but not of the world, yes, but reincarnation, doesn’t jive, this constant loop. Again, I am looking at everything now, seeking to look at it from what makes sense, truly makes sense based on what I see in this struggle of good and evil, what makes sense to embrace philosophically, metaphysically and scripturally, spiritually for holistic wellness and that of society, including in regards to sexuality? That is how I am seeking to make decisions, even in regards to matters of faith. As I make my journey through the rest of life, I have to be careful not to be an IRS auditor in overdrive in my life and make decisions based on holistic wellness and what truly authentically makes sense, rings true, such as Capitalism, Never Marxism, Never Socialism.
Shalom and Amen