Fallout, Good or Bad?

Published by kappello on

Northern Lights

Often in life, we will do our best to make things work, give situations, people, relationships chance after, after chance to work, and we do it for any number of reasons. I am not saying give up at the first sign of trouble, but often we are so afraid of fallout if we make changes, walk away from what is dead, burnt toast, what can’t be salvaged, or is harming our ability to grow as a person, spiritually in every way, making us consistently miserable, so we wait it out, hoping a miracle will salvage it.

The problem with that is that the longer we wait, the longer we chew on burnt toast so to speak, the greater the fall out when it just reaches a point of breaking, where we just are forced to change things or walk away.  It’s like getting a cut and hoping it will heal, or just running water over it and thinking that can disinfect it, it can’t.  The longer you let that cut go, the more the chance of a deadly infection.  Often we think we are doing the noble thing for others by staying where things are dead, where there is no life, no deep connection etc.., it is so burnt out, can’t be salvaged, though we have done our best. What of the others? Those others may actually be hurt more the longer one waits, tries to force things to work that can’t. All we can do is give it our best, but after we have done, really given it our best.

The longer we wait, the greater the fall out when it just reaches a point of breaking, where we just are forced to change things or walk away. Often we think we are doing the noble thing for others by staying where things are dead, where there is no life, no deep connection etc.., it is so burnt out, can’t be salvaged, though we have done our best. What of the others? Those others may actually be hurt more the longer one waits, tries to force things to work that can’t. All we can do is give it our best, but after we have done, really given it our 150%, and so has the other party or if they haven’t but we have, whether it’s career or personal life related, that is all we can do. I realize now that I did myself and mom a great disservice by not going out on my own. I felt I had to stay because duty and obligation, her not speaking English well, how could I just up and go have a life, leave her alone. In doing that, she never got out there to learn English, to make friends, build a community for herself. By my staying, I did no service to myself or her. When we see clearly something is burnt toast, DOA, can’t be salvaged, we need a plan and we need to have the courage to walk away. Yes, there will be some chaos maybe, some hurt, but in the long term, it will be positive for everyone, though it may not seem that way at the time. Something to think about.


kappello

Born in New Jersey, August 1965, this Italian-American has always had a great interest in music, particularly the Oldies, Country and Ethnic music, including Irish. For over 10 years Ms. Appello passionately taught ESL to students of varying ages. Grounded if her faith and spirituality, Katherine endured a range of issues, including a great deal of pain, which was finally diagnosed to be associated with Fibromyalgia. The essence and the power of music, of words, allow Katherine to overcome these struggles each and every time. We are all blessed to have Katherine’s strength, wisdom, and words to write “Pray For Me Tonight’