Unhealthy Boundaries 9 and 10

Published by kappello on

Your values are who you are, they are your identity.  If you don’t know what you stand for, will fight for, why you do so, means you have no identity, you are a piece of paper blowing in the wind, not firm, not solid. When someone tries to manipulate you, push you to compromise those values or your moral boundaries, they are violating your space, your identity, and no person, no friend, colleague etc.. who values you, truly cares for you will ever try to push you in that direction, not in a way that makes you feel violated etc..  If you engage in honest vigorous debate and one of you realize the other has valid points, and you shift position or view because it makes sense to you to do so, okay.  If the person is trying to get you to do anything that in any way in your gut leaves a foul taste in your mouth or would, that’s no friend.  Be clear in what your values are, but also in doing so, in determining those values, morals, don’t do so on pure raw emotion, do so with not just the heart, but also the head, also with science, fact, with real philosophical reflection.  Deciding anything on pure raw emotion, no facts, no real philosophical reflection, or spiritual discernment is half backed cake leaving it partly raw dough or raw cake mix.  Same with making decisions with pure cold science only and not having any heart to accompany it.  Everything in balance, yin and yang, day and night summer and winter, all has to be in balance.  The other one, and this can happen a lot with social media and people following you and reaching out to you, the whole catfish thing online.  Even in life, sometimes when we have had a rough time, are having a rough time, have had a loss, someone reaches out, they are very kind, tell us what we want to hear so we can feel better, we can feel deep gratitude, but because of the vulnerability etc…we immediately think “I’m in love”.  It’s important when anyone reaches out or we reach out, especially in times of crisis to be aware of this, and proceed one step at a time, so no one drowns.  I hope this gives you some valuable insight and inspiration. 

Namaste, Shalom and Amen

 

 


kappello

Born in New Jersey, August 1965, this Italian-American has always had a great interest in music, particularly the Oldies, Country and Ethnic music, including Irish. For over 10 years Ms. Appello passionately taught ESL to students of varying ages. Grounded if her faith and spirituality, Katherine endured a range of issues, including a great deal of pain, which was finally diagnosed to be associated with Fibromyalgia. The essence and the power of music, of words, allow Katherine to overcome these struggles each and every time. We are all blessed to have Katherine’s strength, wisdom, and words to write “Pray For Me Tonight’

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