Healthy Relationships – Safety

Published by kappello on

Key relationships are supposed to be safe harbors, whether you are a child or an adult, doesn’t matter, they are supposed to be the lighthouse as you move through life, the ocean of life.  One way that happens is physical safety of course and seems logical.  Violence never makes anyone ” a man” or anything like that, contrary to what they might think or have been taught by life or others.  Abuse of others comes from a place of anger, rage, pain, a whole lot of unresolved baggage and lack of any real role model, and women can be abusers also, verbally, spiritually, emotionally, not just men.  It doesn’t matter the form of abuse if one is made to feel unsafe, insecure about one’s self in a relationship in any way, it’s abuse and not okay.  Important early on to walk away, if an intervention can happen with the support of others great if not then walking away is the most loving option for self and the other person. If you are not providing the safe harbor and are creating a feeling of insecurity etc… for the other person, smack yourself upside the head a few times, kick yourself in the rear, get help to process and fee yourself constructively of your pain etc…, bring an end to that, have that courage.  How else does abuse happen?  It also happens if space is not respected, so being extremely jealous, possessive, having to be joined at the hip 24/7, not giving a person room to breathe, to grow and have an identity apart from being the partner, son, daughter etc.. is also a form of abuse.  People need to be whole and that means exploring their gifts, talents, potential, friendships in healthy ways, but if we put them in a situation where we are tied at the hip to them constantly keeping tabs etc.., that’s not okay, not healthy, it’s not healthy at all, again red flag and help needed.  It can also be subtle the abuse, it can be a constant pattern of manipulation so that the other person’s dreams etc… are squashed over and over, who they are is totally eclipsed, crushed, their spirit crushed, until they become a shadow of themselves.  How do you even spot a manipulator and put a stop to that?  I came across an artlcle and am sharing it, hope it and this post are enlightening to you.  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201406/how-spot-and-stop-manipulators

Namaste, Shalom, and Amen


kappello

Born in New Jersey, August 1965, this Italian-American has always had a great interest in music, particularly the Oldies, Country and Ethnic music, including Irish. For over 10 years Ms. Appello passionately taught ESL to students of varying ages. Grounded if her faith and spirituality, Katherine endured a range of issues, including a great deal of pain, which was finally diagnosed to be associated with Fibromyalgia. The essence and the power of music, of words, allow Katherine to overcome these struggles each and every time. We are all blessed to have Katherine’s strength, wisdom, and words to write “Pray For Me Tonight’