Today’s Gospel talks about seeds and where they fall and all that jazz. What’s up with Scripture and seeds, seems to like to talk bout seeds, trees and branches. I have been sharing my spiritual journey with you and trying to find my place in the faith of my heritage, as I also have this pull to stand strong with Israel and this pull to Judaism. As I listen to the Gospel about the seeds I realize that the problem isn’t the Catholic faith it’s me, my unwillingness to accept the seeds fully, the full Canonical teaching because in the past I felt they cramped my life because I wanted to do what I wanted to do and I thought that was happiness, that would give me a happy life, that was freedom. I also had this very stubborn streak of wanting to be right and if it was something that my kin folk were very much into, well had to not be into it. How did that turn out?
I have to say, not well. I never developed any real community, any lasting relationship, and the one or two I did have didn’t end well, and others were ones that common sense should have told me were going to end in pain for me, wisdom of Canonical teaching and biblical truth told me that, but I rejected the seeds of those teachings. I got caught up in weeds, weeds of the world, of pride, and I didn’t really fulfill my potential, build a solid career according to my true calling and vocation, or a solid relationship with a person to share life with. In my stubbornness etc.., in my constant rebellion against wanting to accept those seeds and looking for what really was right in front of me, what I had grown up in, I ended up with my creativity stifled, choked, and living amongst the weeds. I didn’t nurture truly my hearts spirit, soul rightly. I realize that now, at 50 something, but it is never too late. I can still be part of Hadassah, and their Atid chapter, be part of meet ups groups that support Israel, even work within the Catholic church doing interfaith dialogue projects and all that, fine. The vast wisdom of Canonical law, moral teachings can not be denied and if I had understood that long ago I would have saved myself a lot of heartache, a lot. It is never too late to allow your garden to be watered, to remove the weeds so you can create a beautiful garden. That is what I intend to do.
Namaste, Shalom and Amen