Father’s Day, Complicated Maybe

Published by kappello on

My dad passed away a number of years ago, went to the wake, funeral.  I hadn’t seen him since I was 10 and I wasn’t sure how I would feel, how it would hit me.  Boy was I surprised at how much pain I felt seeing him in that coffin, receded hairline, hair all white, seemingly shorter than I remember him, as a kid I had to look up to be able to look him in the eye.  There were mixed emotions for sure.  There was regret at all those lost years we never had, anger at his sister for interfering to the detriment of my having been raised with my dad present, so many different emotions.  One emotion stood out the most, love, no matter what had happened, I loved my dad, always will.  We, humans, are complex beings and so we can have both positive and negative emotions present.  His leaving when I was a child, the nastiness of the divorce messed with my psyche and to this day I have a hard time trusting men fully.  As I look back, much as I love my dad and my mom, they were not a good match.  My dad was a very introverted type, was not the type to confront issues, and mom, the exact opposite.  Add that and the interference of family, not a good combo. I guess their parting ways was not that surprising, but for a kid who really can’t grasp these big life issues, it was one tough road to navigate. Still, the love for my dad will always be present and I still talk to him as I look up thinking of him having a small store up there, and just being happy.   I hope to be with him one day, upon the rapture and for all eternity.

Father’s Day always makes me think about some philosophical stuff, like should marriages be preserved even if in misery for all involved or how biblical is divorce.  Marriage is a sacred institution, and a gift from God, the union of man and woman in sacred covenant etc.., and I am not making light of that, never would.  Yes, one should strive to save a marriage and get to a happy and healthy union, whenever possible.  However, to think God would ever want us to be miserable, in a situation that is toxic to us, the kids even, makes zero sense.  Some unions are not healthy ones, are so damaged they can’t be repaired and there has to be a parting of ways, but I hope that even if there is such a parting both partners can ask Holy Spirit to burn from them any hatred, sense of revenge, etc… and find a way to part ways with affection, peace, and dignity.  Dads are important as are moms and both need to seek a healthy union whether together or not, remembering they have a strong responsibility not only to their own happiness and well being, but that of the kids.  To all dads, Happy Father’s Day, you are meant to be a great gift, so be happy, healthy, be a rock. 

Amen


kappello

Born in New Jersey, August 1965, this Italian-American has always had a great interest in music, particularly the Oldies, Country and Ethnic music, including Irish. For over 10 years Ms. Appello passionately taught ESL to students of varying ages. Grounded if her faith and spirituality, Katherine endured a range of issues, including a great deal of pain, which was finally diagnosed to be associated with Fibromyalgia. The essence and the power of music, of words, allow Katherine to overcome these struggles each and every time. We are all blessed to have Katherine’s strength, wisdom, and words to write “Pray For Me Tonight’