The Isolation of a Syndrome

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As I look back at how fibromyalgia has most affected my life it’s most impact has been in isolating me in a sense.   I used to be an avid walker, used to participate in different activities, events, socialize, and slowly that was taken away from me, even going to Temple, to Synagogue, or to Church. 

I felt very much as home at Synagogue, but not feeling up to going up to 14th street and the long service and then luncheon, study after, long day and I am not feeling up to it.  Recently I had to have my right foot bandaged up for a few weeks, was told minimum pressure on it, so even the stairs at the nearby church were not appealing and an option, a lot of ankle pain.  I find that even now with the osteoarthritis and other stuff acting up it will have to be Legion of Mary meetings and 1 hour Mass at the nearby church.  For an artist to be really have her work known, even a life coach, live events, but that is a catch 22 situation for me.  Since the Fibromyalgia is so unpredictable, if I plan and promote too far ahead and charge for tickets then crash and can’t do the event, then what?  If I don’t do live events, well then nothing moves to the next level, so catch 22.  I have to figure out a calculated risk situation where I can organize an event and not end up with “egg on my face” as they say or in any legal jeopardy.  Syndromes take much away from you, they take away your friendships because sooner or later people get tired of your unpredictability and the inability to make plans, your canceling out at the last minute etc…and your mobility in some way, so you end up isolated in some way.  You have to really fight through the inclination to go into any kind of depression because it is easy to do so under such circumstances.    However, it’s important that you do.  If you can’t go to the prayer service you used to go to, find something closer to home and for goodness sakes don’t be so in law and dogmatic about the place you to go pray, just as long as it is looking to Christ as Lord and Messiah, Son of God, or a different synagogue.  Go to a nearby cafe a few times a week that maybe has poetry readings, find some way to connect, to be with people, to be inspired.  Sit in the park near your home even if for just an hour each day, talk to someone.  Don’t ever let a syndrome, a loss, sadness totally isolate you because it is very easy to let that happen, to go into depression and isolation.  I have to fight that regularly that tendency when I get really tired of swimming through the fibro.  Swim I will!



Strong Mind Roadmap Part II


Last time I covered three aspects of a strong mind, soul, keeping in mind there is the conscious and subconscious.  What are the next three aspects to this.

Don’t wallow in whatever crap is going on, or in negative emotions, pain etc…For the past three days due to TMJ and arthritic inflammation from my osteoarthritis, I have been in pain, face swollen, hurts like heck to chew anything.  I could be going into depression, woe is me, ahhh poor me, ohhh why me, why the fibromyalgia had to hit me, boo hoo, cry me a river.  Don’t get me wrong, it is no fun, it’s annoying, frustrating, not fun, but wallowing rather than going to get my overdue haircut, and running needed errands won’t change the situation, won’t take the fibro away.  I choose to keep moving forward, understanding that I do have to respect my body’s limits, but still within that move forward.  No wallowing!  Be kind, and that can mean giving a smile, saying thank you to the person who serves you coffee, telling them to have a great day.  Kind can come in small packages.  We can all do better I am sure in this area, me as well.  I don’t always have the patience I should, maybe it’s the fibro frustration, but I know I can do better.  Bitterness, anger etc.. that constantly in your heart, spirit and soul are really a heavy load to carry.  I did a piece I believe on the difference between anger and righteous anger, so please check that out.  Take calculated risks.  Notice the word calculated, not impetuous, impulsive, reckless risk, calculated.  You look at the pros and cons, risk and reward factors and you see if the pros outweigh the cons and rewards would outweigh the risks.  You don’t for truly important decisions go rushing in like a blind fool, that’s not courage that’s just being a moron and a blind fool.  Learn the difference and take it from me the sooner you learn that, the better.  Courage is not about jumping in all the time into every situation based on feelings and emotions in the heat of the moment.  That’s immaturity.  I hope that we all learn the difference, but hopefully sooner rather than later in life.  If we can look at these things, maybe do a life scan and see where we might have wallowed etc.. .and how it led us down a not so great path, we can maybe not repeat that pattern, work on changing patterns.  I hope to have a workshop on that in conjunction with the wellness wheel a life seminar in September in Manhattan, NY.  I hope you will look at how maybe you have been in regards to these areas of the mind, soul and see where you might need to do a rethink.





































































































































Being of Strong Mind, Roadmap? Hmmm


We are seeing a lot of instability in our youth, in our society and I do believe lack of a strong faith life and spiritual center contribute, but there are also personal attitudes and behaviors that need to be looked at for sound mind and spirit.  What are they?  I am going to touch on three of them today.

  1. Move on
  2. Keep Control
  3. Embrace Change

If you look at these there you realize they are interconnected.  To keep control, to embrace change, you have to be able to move on, to move forward from past to present and present to future.  You have to be able to keep control and work through in very constructive ways any anger, rejection etc… and when you can do that, you can embrace change.  You can take the biblical passages related God makes all things work out for good, to heart and look at how that situation can be for a greater good, even your own personal growth and development indirectly perhaps.  Perhaps it made you stronger, it showed you as they say when the chips are down what your made of, when push comes to shove, what you do, how you handle, do you have the personal, spiritual etc… tools to handle it constructively.  If you didn’t then, or don’t now, if you can see that, you can seek right guidance to gain those tools.  This is something we should be teaching children from a very young age, all parents, all schools etc.. should be teaching our youth that rejection, part of life, all the aspect of life, good, bad, ugly, people not agreeing with your views, you not agreeing with theirs, all part of life, part of the journey, and if we make good decisions, choices, have a strong spiritual, center, moral compass etc.. we will hopefully make more good ones than not and life will have more good than not.  We also have teach moving on etc.. in the sense that you can’t control what others feel, think, how stupid they sometimes act, and not everyone will like you, as your parent etc.., guess what, I don’t always like you, love you, but don’t always like how you act, behave, and I won’t as love as we are both this planet and breathing and you won’t always like me, that’s fine.  We need to teach them that this is true throughout life with people.  As for the past, teach them that the past, while having important lessons to teach is not a place we should get stuck in or brooding about.  We need to grasp this ourselves and pass it on to future generations. 

These are the first three of 18 points I’ll be discussing, so stay tunes and God Bless.




Why Feedback Matters.

Photo 2015-11-14 at 23.00

Number One Music allows me to send outa newsletter every 10 days and I recently sent one out and here are a few of the messages I have received.

Carolina:   “I never get bored this tune Even In The Greatest Storm. I love this tune so much and Thanks for producing this track.”

Pasquale  “hi I just have to say that you create a very good music and it appeals to a lot of people. I’ll be listening to you, I’ve just added your n1m page to my faves.”

Efrain: “hello you’re far too talented not to share what you can do with a vast audience and make a living from it –

I believe that ability shines through and that you’ve got plenty…”

Lesley “now THAT’s music ive been listening to this all day, seems like you can never get tired of it!”

One or two of the music blogs I submitted to the feedback was that the vocals, the accent threw them off though they liked the lyrics, but the melody was a bit too laid back for them.  On that track I didn’t do the vocals.  The feedback on any project we do, from a few different sources, provided we don’t take it personally as an attack on us, but rather feedback on the material can be very useful.  These comments and others tell me I am on the right track and if I look at which songs got the comments, what genre, style people are drawn to that I put out there, then I know what to focus on, so it helps me.  It also gives me encouragement to keep going, and hopefully the day comes that I can earn my daily bread with the music and coaching.  Feedback helps us to know where we are, what maybe we need to work on, focus on etc… and where to go from here.  In the creative business, or sales, it is not personal, though it feels like it at times, when what we put out there is not readily accepted by all, but not everything can be liked by everyone, or appreciated by everyone.  We need to keep that in mind and not take it personally.  Feedback is important in life.



How Does Lucifer Deceive?

Confused Face

Scripture talks about snares, and deceit when it comes to Lucifer, who was once God’s most exalted angel and seems led the choir of angels, until he got all full of himself and decided he should be God, his way was bette than God’s way.  Any of this sound familiar to us, it should because we have all been there and may go to that place again in life, no matter how spiritual or religious we are.  Lucifer fancies himself quite the clever chap, and in some ways he is, why is that?

A match, that fire, that light can be used for good stuff, cooking, campfire, light candles if there is a power outage, so that light from the the match has good uses.  It can even keep you warm and save your life if you end up lost in the woods, provided you are responsible with it.  However, the Lucifarian  aspect of it is that it can also be used to cause deliberate damage, to harm others.  That light can be good or not so good, depending.  Use of talents etc… or rather misuse is one way Lucifer gets us into a heap of trouble in life.  Another is what we see happening a lot now, which is good is bad, and bad is good.  That’s the lesson of Genesis, that Sin can be wrapped up in a pretty box etc.., can present itself as really exciting etc.., and all kinds of justification found for it, and the good can be made to seem like such a drag, no fun, bigoted etc.. If you move with the secular, go with the flow of the moment, of any and all feelings in the moment, erase all construct of nature, law and order of nature, you are letting loose, freedom, the destructive is made to look like liberation.  Maintaining healthy boundaries, constructs is made to look like prison, everything negative, is mocked.  That flame that can cook etc…now the good uses are now presented as bad and the bad uses as good in a way.  We see this also in media coverage where journalism of “just the facts, true and accurate, vetted ten times over” nah, why bother.  Insuring you don’t destroy lives just to sell papers, for ratings etc…even with false facts is fine, says Lucifer.  The opening of the Embassy in Jerusalem a great example of this.  News outlets who are honest and journalists with integrity reported accurately that the terror group Hamas was inciting protestors along the Gaza border, that for 30000 years Jerusalem was known by all the world to be the Capitol of Israel.  Those who wanted ratings more than truth, who have a hatred of Israel, buy into the lies of Hamas, and the Arab narrative did not portray it that way.  MSN is now left with egg on their face because it turns out it is being directed etc… my Hamas, all the Gaza protest and all that. Pompeo was in Korea when Trump announced what he did, the media, not those who had integrity, had a headline about Pompeo being AWOL.  Turns out he wasn’t that at all, he was in Korea negotiating to the very last moment the release of those three hostages.  In any number of ways, including lifestyle and sexuality, Lucifer is good at getting us to fool ourselves and each other and one way he does it is to convince the world that God and He, thus Sin, Missing the Mark don’t exist.  I find it funny that we don’t seem to grasp that the universe has laws of nature, sometimes they deviate, but those deviations, those harmful deviations are not celebrated, yet as regards lifestyle, our behaviors etc…seems even now in the Faith communities who claim they are of God and Scripture, those deviations from natural law and order are celebrated.  When I say funny, none of it is funny in a good way.  I do believe we can all come to realize we are missing the mark and do a turnaround, and hopefully that will happen more and more, rather than go the opposite direction for the sake of all of us.

Shalom and Amen

Why Common Values, Culture Matter


We often hear about the glue that keeps things together and ties that bind, well a common heritage, history, common values, Judeo-Christian values, ethics, Catholic Bioethics even kept the Western world were the common bonds, was the glue.  It matter, matters a great deal.  As they got tossed int he trash for the sake of PC, and kumbaya, as well as a false Social Justice Doctrine, it all has gone to hell in a breadbasket, which is truly sad.              


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They say being a mom is the most mot unappreciated and underpaid job their is, well basically you don’t get paid and you have to wear a million hats.  As I’ve gotten older and observed a lot, I realize that is true.  A mom even on here not so great days, even if she is feeling lousy doesn’t get to call in sick, take a time out just because she doesn’t like doing what she is doing.  It really is often a thankless job, long hours, lousy pay, but at the same time if you are a mom of ethics, integrity etc… you have done something amazing, brought a new life into this world, shaped future generations, hopefully shaped them to be not snowflakes, not victim mentally snowflakes etc.., but strong, resilient etc… human being with a love of God, Family and Country.  Does that mean perfect, flawless, that their lives will turn out perfectly etc..,, no but hopefully you will have shaped a future general that will be an asset to society in all ways, shapes and forms.  That is a job that truly deserves a hole lot of thanks from all of us, so THANK YOU>

Jesus Vs Jesus, OY!

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How many of us have had days or times when things gets so frazzled so confusing, we think, “I’m having an identity crisis”?  Well guess what Jesus has also been having an identity crisis and actually it has been going on since the time of his being on earth, but with the post modern world, his identity crisis amongst humanity has really gotten, crisis.   Full disclosure, I had my rebel period and went and got myself ordained online, did some studying online, and all that, had my Catholic Crisis period, my overall Christian Faith Crisis period.  If we look at the chart, we see that the biblical Jesus is not the same one of the post modern world, not that fluffy teddy bear, marshmallows around the fire, kumbaya etc.. kind of guy 24/7.  What about you, what does that have to do with your faith?  Do you hide, do you sugar coat your faith?  What is your core?  Having moments of crisis is not unusual when a trauma happens or something like that, so it’s not unusual to have moments of questioning, of needing to recharge the faith, one’s understanding of the faith, faith principles etc…  If we are to be faithful to scripture, then we can’t sugarcoat Christ or mold him into any modern version of anything.  We can’t do that to the faith principles that are to guide our day to day living, that guide ethics and integrity.    When we look at Jesus and what he taught, the apostles taught, even the philosophers, we have to look holistically, including what did they conclude at the end of their life.  I thought it might be interesting for you to see a list of Catholic Converts in history, includes Egyptian Royalty  I found it interesting the list and some of those on it.  I hope that they understood, even the more modern ones the difference between these two versions one might be presented with.  It matters, it matters because it will influence how we understand scripture, and every aspect of it, and living life.  I hope we all step back and take a right look at Jesus and his identity, because mistaken identity is never a good thing. Even in our own faith walk, we need to be clear and understand who we are, what our core faith is, have a clear identity in that.  I realized that very much as I realized just how repulsed I was at the mockery made of the faith of my my ancestors, of my heritage at the Met Gala and when people put forth this false picture of Christ in the name of modern Social Justice and Feminism.

Shalom and Amen

Problem With the Met Gala

met gala 2018

This is not even counting the bondage rosary mask.  Scripture tells us that in the latter days truth will be twisted and mocked and what is evil, unhealthy etc… will be lauded as good.  All you have to do is look around you and know that is true.  This shows that.  Even worse is that the Church gave their blessing, the Vatican sending the Choir to sing at the Gala had to know, and so did NY’s Cardinal Dolan, he even took photos with the Gala organizers I believe.  These people wearing these garbs belong to an industry that mocks the Christian faith, not any other faith group, no it gets all upset if you use the word Islamic Terrorists or Jihadists, but mocked Pence for his expression of faith, mocks Conservatives and Christians constantly on and off stage, simply for believe and adhering to, especially those who fully do, to God’s Scriptural Truth, Biblical Truth.  Does the media dare do so with any other faith group?  No they don’t.  Mainly because Catholics, Christians in trying to love thy neighbor etc…don’t really war against those who mock us, we don’t do jihad.  The sad part is that the Church sold out, it sold out to the things of the world, the very thing that Jesus said we were not to do, we were not to be of this world, neither was the church to be.  Yet the Vatican, Dolan sold out, sold out to the world in the name of whatever.  If the Church sells out, well what example of scriptural faithfulness can they provide?  Same with the debacle of the Boy Scouts undermining the role of male and female, their beautiful differences, the differences in how they learn.  This sacrilege of this Gala really brought home how degenerated Hollywood, and society is, and how sad the Church has become, how it has through so called Social Justice and in different ways sold out, and sold its’ soul.  That really is a terrible day and thing for humanity, and it is going to be up to the patriots and true faithful of scripture to get the church and things back on track and regain the soul of the Church and nations. 

Shalom and Amen