Where Do I Focus?

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I could focus on poetry, spoken word or song, do both, but which might have the most impact?  The more I delve into the self coaching course and self hypnotherapy course, the more I realize that my life is not about me really, but how my gifts can impact the lives of others for the greater good, their greater good and my greater joy.  Of course I have to earn a living, as there are bills in life to pay, but besides that, the core of what I do, I really have to think about why I do it, why I want to do it.

I love to write, to sing, so recite, all of that is something I love to do.  I also have to be quite realistic, and I know people in the creative field don’t like that word, realistic, but in life you have to be a bit realistic and practical at the same time that you dream and are creative.  They have to go hand in hand, so with that in mind, I have a decision to make about my creative path, and it seems to me that poetry, the spoken word can have a huge impact when read with intent, with heart and soul.  The coaching, that’s another aspect I have to figure my focus more clearly on, and am getting there.

The Past Paid A Visit

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I had a dream and that dream was of one who was a major part of my past. I had not really thought of them for a while, but I guess there are those who touch our lives so deeply, have such an impact for good or not, or a mixed bag, but so deeply that they truly are a part of us forever. How do I feel about this? 

Mixed bag really.  In a way I feel sad because we got it wrong in how we dealt with “us” the situation, relationship etc.. and it had potential to be perhaps even a great friendship, but we screwed up.  I am so sad because I think about the fact that we are so opposite, so opposite in our worldview, so I wonder if we did come together, if this dream were a premonition, foreknowledge, how would we reconcile that, and if we could.  Then there is also a sense of sweetness that the bond is so strong, even years later I have such a dream.  I also have to acknowledge that there is a pain associated with this relationship pain caused and received.  I can’t ignore that, and if I were to honor a pledge I made to this person, I would have to truly reconcile that pain, along with any loving feelings, couldn’t just ignore it, neither could they ignore any residual hurt they felt in my regards.  All that would have to be addressed.  Any fears, insecurities about ourselves and each other would have to be courageously spoken and addressed.  We weren’t ready to love each other, even if we did back then, now, perhaps we could, perhaps we could love, accept unconditionally, not try to fix the other, address what needs addressing and simply work on being the best me each of us can be, grow together.  Perhaps, or perhaps I continue to work on myself and continue t move on.  We shall see if the dream I had is a foreshadowing, a foreknowledge, and how I navigate it, we shall see.

Shalom and Amen

Trust, but Verify, Not So Simple

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Instagram, and whatever the latest platform is an be treat tools for promotion.  However, they are also traps, and it can be tricky to navigate.  What makes it tricky?

In the age of google images and other places where you can get images to use, people can purchase or get for free images of persons o distinction, of celebrity rank.  One group of people often targeted by scammers in using their identity, information to prowl for and catfish for women or for men is the military and law enforcement.  You would think people would be more respectful of these two groups, but no.  How do you figure out if the person of high rank military, or celebrity is legit?  First of all do your research.  If the person the scammer uses is military of high rank, unless they are sent on some covert mission top secret, if they are doing anything high profile in DC or at any of the cadet academies etc.. if put in the name of the person and the date, you can see what shows up online.  If they say they are in the Middle East, or some far off place, but there is an article about them presenting a speech at a military graduation, or something of that nature, well guess you are talking to a scammer.  If the person even celebrity has always been a person of true integrity, ethics etc…with a very strong faith, real strong orthodox Christian etc.. faith,  they connect with you, saying you were one of the suggested friends, say they are separated etc..start whispering sweet nothings, I’d say you have a problem there.  If the person is decorated military, law enforcement, comes from a tradition of that in the family, honorable history, strong faith family etc…, that sense of honor and integrity is ingrained in them.  Does it seem plausible that they would see to start an affair via internet without being formally free of the first union?  If they constantly find excuses to not video chat etc.., or when they do they always do so in the dark, so you can’t really see them clearly, have a hat on half covering their face and if you ask them to take it off they have an excuse each time, hmmmm not good.  If you have someone who is open to and even suggests, let’s video chat, after you have spoken online for  a bit of time, they send you videos, and you video chat, it’s in the day time where you can clearly see their face etc.., surroundings, then good signs.  In the digital age, we need to be not paranoid, but cautious, as I am having to be with my own internet journey.

Amen

Some “Just Friends” Category

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Whether it’s online or offline, you get a sense of things when it comes to people, and if you work to develop discernment or have people around you that have that gift, but mainly your own gut when it’s not fear driven, but really contemplative prayer and meditative in nature will guide.

Some people you have an instant connection, which is great and you find them easy to talk to right away, feel at ease, all of that stuff.  Great, as long as you are sure who you are talking to.  There are some connections that are immediate connection et… as well, but even though both or a few of these connections have that ease, there is still discernment required.  Sometimes after a few conversations with each or several of the parties, you just know.  You have a Holy Spirit sense which one really has the maturity, common goals etc.., potential to be more than just a friend and which one either because of a certain immaturity you sense, for whatever reasons, that Holy Spirit intuition which person is the just friends one.  You have to honor that, honor that sacred intuition.  You have above all honor your own soul, own spirit about who to have in your life and in what way they fit into your life. That’s not always easy to do, but with faith, discernment, meditation, prayer, maturity, common sense, it can be done.  That is where I am now along with planning clearly my journey in life 2018-2020, laying the foundations.  It’s a great thing, working towards achieving your dreams, and getting there when you do. I pray that the vocational goals, goal of creating ministry through coaching and the arts combined, as well finally joining my life to a true soulmate are achieved. All I can do is my best, give of my best, of my best self.  All any of us can do.

Shalom and Amen

Online Potentials and Perils

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Like many things in life the Internet has its’ yin and yang, potentials, and perils so to speak. Instagram is an example of that.  I have had several gentleman follow me after posting videos to promote my blog, my music. 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind interacting with fans once in a while, but these guys don’t seem to come in with a lot of maturity.   You have those that are like a bull in a china shop as the saying goes and immediately bombard you with personal questions, or those who immediately start calling you sweetheart, honey, babe, all this stuff, which is not appropriate unless you two are officially a couple for some time or are engaged. Then you have those who start off seeming nice enough, great, then after a few chats declare their love, are ready to upheaval their life for you, move to the ends of the earth for you.  They don’t know your background, your history, anything about your life, family, and you have not verified anything about them, their background etc…, yet they are declaring forever their love and wanting a commitment.   That is not realistic, definitely not a sign of maturity.  You can look at a photo, see someone’s videos online, all that and love certain qualities that come across, their eyes, their smile, you can feel something sparked, not saying you can’t, and when you talk online, chat you might feel very much at ease with them and they with you.  That does not constitute being in love or that the relationship is solidified in any substantial way.  Relationships take some time to build, you have to seek common ground, really know you will be there for each other through thick and thin, and all of that takes time, takes spending actual face to face time with each other.  Knowing a person past and present is not done in a few chats, falling in love, real Agape, and beyond love is not done in just a few chats.  Also, if someone is going to make any choices in life about changing anything in their life, it has to be for them, not you as the reason to run from where they are at now.  When any relationship on line is attempted to move at the speed of lightening to “love you to the end of time” or anything like that and they want a firm commitment of partnership, commitment, red flag.  For me anyway, I promised myself and God that when and if I were to make that solemn commitment it would be made with maturity, deliberation, prayer etc.., and the person would be one of like mind, goals and also one of maturity.  One can be spontaneous and still have maturity, but there is a difference between mature spontaneity and immature impulsiveness.  It’s important to know the difference. 

I am  open to love and marriage all of that, even through Instagram, but it has to be with a person who has a certain level of maturity and of course a MAGA Patriot, one of like mind.  If I sense any red flags I need to pay attention.

Amen

Still With You

I Am Still With You

As I watched the Capitol 4th Celebration on TV and they mentioned 9/11, I thought of the dreams I had had that week about people jumping out of buildings, buildings on fire, funerals, crazy dreams that made no sense at the time and that morning just before the alarm was set to ring, shortly before I had a dream with my Nanna, dad’s mom telling me, go back to sleep, stay in bed, it’s not your time to go.  I didn’t understand, but my gut said, listen to Nanna.  When the alarm rang and mom came to wake me up at 8:15 or so I said no, Nanna said to stay in bed, not time to go and I refused to go to the appointment. Well if II had I would have been in the Towers. 

Was it my Nanna? Was it God sending an angel in my dreams taking shape as Nanna so I would listen and not go that day? The theology really of it didn’t matter, still really doesn’t matter.  What did and does is that God was with me, felt I needed to be here, had something to do with my life, now granted fibromyalgia hit and hit hard, and I have had a winding journey to get to the understanding that I love inspiring and coaching whether directly or through the arts, but still.  It also as I remembered this and my dad, different people, realized they never leave us, their memory, even if there was family turmoil and they were not in our lives long, they never leave us.  I didn’t see Nanna after I was 10 years old, and my dad I was ten when I last saw him alive and then saw him again in a casket.  People may not be with us physically, but they don’t ever leave us, what they said, taught us, memories created, all of that crops up at times, depending. We are shaped by those in our lives, our interactions etc…I need to take a look at that for myself, my own life.

There is someone else who is always with us, the one who created us, He, the Word Made Flesh, and the Spirit of Counsel, and as I re-learn about our nation, it’s birth, different events that gave birth to us, to the USA, I know that to be true.  Never forget we are never alone, though people may forsake us, the Trinity and Heavenly hosts do not.  Amen

 

Happy 4th of July, Maybe

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The founders of this nation understood very well that the Documents that started us on the road to being this quite exceptional Republic and one nation under God were only as virtuous as those willing to fight to uphold them.  These men were very clear in their faith as evidenced by the following http://www.nationaldayofprayer.org/history_of_prayer_in_america http://www.shear.org/2017/03/14/the-bible-in-the-political-culture-of-the-american-founding/  On this day when we eat our hot dogs and hamburgers, watch the fireworks etc.., let’s not forget that those calling for the hunting down of Trump supporters etc…are not in any way America, are not in any way American, they are a foreign agent, a foreign entity that is contrary to our core foundations as a nation that looked to Scripture and God for counsel on the Republic, its’ formation and much more. Also, let us remember that the true vision of a free market CapitalistF Federalist Constitutional Republic can only be guarded, made sure to be lived dayin and day out in and out of politics by those who truly understand and embrace these foundations as our heritage.

Amen

What Makes Friendship Unbreakable

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Friendship, a beautiful thing.  There are friendships that last a lifetime.  What makes that possible.  I have been thinking about that, about what would make a friendship that is really deep and would last a life time. 

First thing I think is a similar worldview, shared values, some synchronicity and synergy.  What else, is that all?  No. Those things may change over time to some degree, so there also has to be the ability to accept change, and sometimes if one has very deeply held views on issues, that is not easily done.  There also has to be the ability to discuss a range of issues without getting into an all out war, which again, if either or both of you are very passionate about the issue may be tricky.  You also have to able to tell it to each other as you see it and accept it.  That is not always easy.  If one of you has very strong intuitive spiritual tendencies and stuff strongly comes up, you and you are a very strong personality by nature, you find you can’t not just say what you sense. That can create friction, so navigating that added element can be like sitting on a bomb and not having it go off, not moving so it doesn’t go off so to speak.  There are many nuances to friendship, for it to last a life time, so many levels of dance and sometimes one of you will trip durning this beautiful dance and there is no recovery. 

I have also realized that I really never had the friendships, not more than one or two that were really of great depth, and those of these that were couldn’t withstand my personality, as I can be rather passionate in my opinions, viewpoints, and also expressing what I intuitively pick up, strongly pick up.  When anyone picks up stuff intuitively or gets info in a dream, it is not that absolutely it will happen, but when you keep sensing that strongly or have a recurring dream of it in regards to yourself or your life, it’s telling you, take a look at what is going on so you don’t end up there or take care of something because this is a looming possibility.  In friendship, any relationship people find it hard to deal with this, especially since I am not one to back down just for the sake of keeping the peace.  That I am realizing has impacted my relationships.  I realize I need find a way to change some dynamics, while still honoring my views and also the intuitive impressions I receive.  I do need to check into a regular group meditation practice and such because that I believe will be of help. The dance of relationship, of friendship is one that I realize requires balance and I need to find that balance within so I can have it externally in my relationship with others.  I don’t want superficial relationships, I don’t need many either.  I do want a few that are truly deep connections and are lifetime ones, so I need to be myself the type of person that embodies someone that others would want to have such a friendship with. As I make my way through this course of being my own coach, interesting insights emerge. 

Amen

Opening The Door, Scary Stuff

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Meeting online is something that is happening more and more often, and it seems on Instagram after I post a photo or video I make one heck of an impression on some gentlemen and I get followers, some have directly reached out.  It has been interesting.

One in particular I have from the get go felt comfortable with, we started sharing photos, but nothing suggestive, not at all.  These photos are photos you would exchange with a BFF, that you would not have  problem with your grandma or grandpa seeing.  The conversation has been very respectful, he has been open about himself, his mom having gone into almost PTSD state after his dad died  A friendship is building.  One other who reached out, also the communication, photos, respectful, but he is more bull in china shop Leo in his approach, the other gentlemen is also a Leo , but not bull in a china shop approach, is really trying to build the friendship first.  I have made some not so wise decisions in the past relationship wise, and it hurt me big time.  I have had a tendency to sabotage as soon as anyone started to show any serious interest.  With this individual, perhaps because of his openness and his approach, though the prospect of opening up my heart, spirit and soul to another again is on some level scary, I find I am moving ahead with total calm.  I am not thinking about any baggage from the past, and that he wont want to be part of my life because I haven’t lived a perfect life, and I am not feeling like I want to run, so something has shifted.  Perhaps it is the meditation and I guess now I will add self hypnosis to the journey.  I have been meditating on attracting my true soulmate, one whom I could really have flow with, that I would be able to open up to and who would feel the same about me.  I have envisioned a life of synergy, and as I envision, meditate on it, ask questions, refine it further, connect further to the scared, divine source of all creation, it gets more peaceful, gets clearer.  That is a beautiful thing.

It is a time of transition time for me.  I look forward to seeing where the journey will take me.  I welcome it.

Amen

An Exchange Reinforces The Vision

Peaceful Retreat

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Life will give you answers, the sun will show itself.  If you recall in past posts I have spoken about dreams with recurring themes and I also have had a sense of relationship, how I felt my companion and I would come together, how that would develop .  I wondered about that, what was coming up in the meditation. This past week, life has given me some indications 

To begin with someone started following me on instagram and we have started chatting, he even sent a photo of him and  his mom.  The way this is developing with each being a cheerleader for the other in their work, in general, building from a friendship perspective, sharing family photos, having open discussion, very organically, naturally about issues of the day.  I can feel an easy flow of energy back and forth, which is nice.  Should this continue to flow and move along as it is now, awesome.  Then there is the coaching thing, what will I specialize in? I went to see my gastro doc and as he was speaking about how he likes to listen to the patient, look at the whole picture, not just give a pill and send them on their way, when I told him I was studying coaching,  The conversation and my own interests made me really lean towards wellness coaching. Next thing, the dreams regarding my spiritual life.  As I am not thrilled with the hostility towards those of us who are Traditionalists, Conservatives Socially, Politically, who love the Latin Mass, things like that, the confusion this Pope has sown, and who perhaps for some some reason, and for reasons I have spoken of before possibly contributing, I have detached from the church.  This new connection I have made that flows so easily, is Roman Catholic, so seems I keep being brought home to my roots, God keep trying to bring me home to my roots.  I have a few things now to reflect on, to ponder and I am continuing to work on new material for the Jam on the 27th, so hope to see some of you there! 

Amen