Not Endings Haunt You.jpg

We hate ending, most people do, endings mean change, they mean loss.  Sometimes, it has to be for any number of reasons.  Worse than endings are non endings, situations that never went full circle, never had closure, never had a goodbye as they needed, with so much left unsaid, unresolved. One of the things we need to  discern is when to say goodbye, when to close books and chapters, which is not always easy, but is necessary.  We might mourn the loss, the closing of that book, chapter, but if it is toxic, if it is not something God would have us continue then we need to discern that and walk away with closure somehow.  Even in terms of hopes and dreams that God calls us to, not our own stubborn self, but God, beginning the journey that God calls us on vocationally, but then letting fear stop us throughout life is not a positive.  If it is a God given vocation, not saying it will be easy, but it also wouldn’t be filled with pain tears and heartache constantly.  That’s not of God.   In all things we have to have some kind of discernment, in all aspects of life.

Shalom and Amen

Can’t Make You Whole

Can't Make Homes of Humans.jpg

We often seek others to make us whole, to make us feel whole, but that is not another person’s job, no human can really make you whole, or healed.  Another can be a catalyst, a prompt for that journey, but they can not heal you.  Only we can heal us through accepting what is, was, needs changing and all that.  If we keep pushing someone to be the magic cure for us to be whole etc… eventually we will crush them under that weight.  We need to figure out how to be whole within our own journey in life, not look to another to be a magic formula to make us whole or anything like that.  An authentic, cultivated spiritual life can be of great help along the journey, so I love listening for example to this youtube channel and others like this to connect to the spiritutal in life.  I hope that we all come to wholeness within ourselves as Sons and Daughters of the Most High, The Creator of this amazing universe.


April 4th Mark Your Calander

Peaceful Retreat

Date:  April 4th

Time:  Noon

Location:  Google Hangout

Seminar: Theme:  Fear and Moving Through It

Location:: Google Hangout

RSVP By March 29th:   Paypal $10 constribution

This seminar will look at the different types of fear, as well as the triggers, roots and then tools for moving through fear.  If you wish to then purchase a hypnotherapy mp3 you may do so separately to further assist in moving through fears in a healthy holistic way, though the mini meditation we do at the end may be of assistance and feel free to record it.  This is the event link for you to add to your calendar:


Science, All the Answers?


We lost a great scientific mind Hawkins, and now doubt science matters, even the Vatican has a conservatory and engages in scientific research and those of the church engage in scientific reasoning along with biblical truth.  Those who can not will not open up to the Holy Spirit, to Holy Spirit truth, to scripture truth will stay within the realm of science only.  They will dismiss First Cause, saying it is not necessary to have a First Cause.  However there is a problem with that.

Human beings are supposed to operate on reason, on induction, deduction all that jazz.  What happens when you say there is no need for a First Cause or First Principles to examine and explain creation?  You violate reason, violate inductive and deductive reasoning.  Peter Kreeft put it well when he says “If there seems to be no physical cause, we look for a psychological cause: perhaps someone hypnotized us. As a last resort, we look for a supernatural cause, a miracle. But there must be some cause. We never deny the Principle of Sufficient Reason itself. No one believes the Pop Theory: that things just pop into existence for no reason at all. Perhaps we will never find the cause, but there must be a cause for everything that comes into existence.  the whole universe is a vast, interlocking chain of things that come into existence. Each of these things must therefore have a cause. My parents caused me, my grandparents caused them, et cetera. But it is not that simple. I would not be here without billions of causes, from the Big Bang through the cooling of the galaxies and the evolution of the protein molecule to the marriages of my ancestors.”  The sciences can tell us how, the mechanisms of creation of the universe, but not the who or even the why it was all created, why we were created, why we have emotions etc…It’s all links in a chain and the chain has to start somewhere with someone having created the first link.  St Thomas, though indirectly gives excellent arguments for First Cause.   If there is no first cause, then like saying I come from a poof in the air, so do my parents, their parents.  Though Hawkins was a beyond capable scientist he failed to acknowledge and fully appreciate, accept the need for First Cause, First Principles.  Neuroscience has tried over and over again and failed for example to explain consciousness.  Why, because all science is an external exercise and thus has great limitations.  This article says it well  Science can’t explain, never will be able to explain: the origin of the universe, the origin of the laws of nature, the origin of life and the origin of mind and thought because they transcend anything physical that can be measured.  This is where the spiritual realm can give answers and with solid thological indicutive and deductive reasoning of objective morality etc… provide a great map of it all, a grid. 


Great Potential, So Why Winding Road?

Widing Road.jpeg

Most of us if we have potential and talent in any given area and have been told we do, especially by those outside our friends and family circle, you would think would find the road to success, thriving and prosperity, spiritual clarity a straight one, an easy one.  You would think so wouldn’t you?  Yeah, well, not so much it seems.  Why?  If you are one who has a range of gifts, and on top of that are an empath, have gifts of a spiritual nature, it complicates things.  You have to figure out how to intertwine all the gifts together to the path you are meant to walk according to the Lord;s anointing upon you.  That’s no easy thing.  I think it is important early on to pray for a mentor, a solid mentor of great solid ethics and integrity.  I think that might just be the most important prayer one can make in one’s youth and then when that mentor comes for us to listen, take their advice guidance with care, with prayer.  I wish I had understood that and prayed for that above all when I was young.  I pray for that now because that may just be the most important gift the Lord could give me.  This pin says it best.

Greatest Potential People.jpg

Shalom and Amen


What I Miss, Reclaiming It.



Today I took a lovely long walk, something that many would take for granted.  For those with chronic health issues, syndromes it’s something that matters.  When a syndrome leaves you so exhausted, has you in pain on an ongoing basis etc…that you go stretches of time crashing in bed and not being able to even enjoy a walk, sitting outside in your favorite spot, having your ipod and listening to great music and meditation material.  The best nutshell way to describe it is this:  a complete physical, mental, emotional, spiritual assault on your body.  This is one of the things I miss, that Fibromyalgia since it has flared up with a vengeance.  I am hoping to reclaim that and a few other things.  One of the things that  makes those of us fighting chronic health issues and syndromes is when people say stuff like “but you look good”  “maybe if you got out more”  “you just need to push yourself more”  People may mean well, but for us, these sound like what is being said is “you’re faking, lying” and “you’re just lazy, or exaggerating”  My thought when anyone gives the kind of advice or nuggets of wisdom mentioned here is “no you S.O.B. I am not fine, not OK, not lazy, what the hell do you know about it?”  I just want to smack the person and sometimes just want to cry from the frustration.  

What might cause a flare up of Fibromyalgia or these types of syndromes:

Common Fibro Flare Ups

What can you do if your dealing with chronic health issues such as pain, such as fibromyalgia?  Consult your doctor before try anything to alleviate any symptoms etc..  Here are some suggestions, starting with foods.  Try to incorporate anti-inflammatory foods such as:  flaxseed, green tea, avocado, cantaloupe, walnuts, pineapple, berries, garlic, broccoli.  Aromatherapy with certain oils as you meditate, even  in your bath, such as:Balsam Fir, Bergamot, Roman Camomile, Rosemary, Lavender, Eucalyptus, Clary Sage.  As far as exercise, you have to be careful when you have syndromes such as fibromyalgia.  I for example am so hypersensitive I can not do any physical therapy, have any massage other than hot stone massage, do tai chi, walk.  You need to consult your doctors about what type of exercise you can handle, is recommended for you.  If you are crashing a lot, lots of fatigue, you can do some basic very light stretches at home, put on some music that is upbeat and some light dance moves, nothing strenuous, just to get the circulation moving.  For me what also helps is spirituality and meditation, it’s a great anchor in the midst of the chaos that is fibromyalgia.   I hope this helps, and that if you encounter anyone or have anyone with a chronic health issue or syndrome in your life this will help you understand, just a little bit better.  On a final not I leave you with this, the stages of fibromyalgia, but this can apply to any syndrome or chronic health issue situation.

Fibromyalgia Stages.jpg

Oy and Oy!!

Pray, Then What?

Pray Then Let Go

Okay, so you prayed, and prayed, and you prayed, now what?  I meditate and I pray every night, even pray the Anglican Rosary, have created my own meditation of positive affirmations, so where are the inundation of blessings, the miracles and all that I could ask, could, notice I said could.  I could also become angry, bitter, decide there is no God because geen wiz I didn’t get my wish my way when I wanted boo hoo, could.  What purpose would they serve?  None.  Instead what am I doing?  I following strong Holy Spirit guidance of what I am supposed to do with my music and this blog each day after listening to the mediation upon going to bed, listening to it a few times and praying the rosary.  What have I been guided to do, radio, focus on putting the songs up for sale on TuneCore and getting the songs played on radio, with goal of getting interviewed on radio.  I am hoping to also send the music to music blogs once I have the funds for a blitz, major blitz promotional campaign to send a few of my songs to radio and to blogs, have my fiverr virtual assistant take 10 hours or so and dedicate them to that.  I would like to focus my time on the writing, research, the recording.  Prayer is not an automated teller where you put the card in and poof out comes the money, not quick cash thing and it may take a good period of time to get any return on your prayer investment.  Your return on that investment may be a NO answer with nothing but walls and daggers etc.. everything you thought should be for your life shattered, so what ought to be can actually take place.  If we do trust and pray, not force, manipulate shake our fist in anger, defiant to do it and have it our way, some pretty neat stuff can happen, if we let it.  Praying is not really the hard part, the hard part is the trust and let go now, just let go, just let it go, not push, insist upon, just let go.  That doesn’t mean I don’t do what I am guided to do each day or each week, like I have been guided, prompted to offer an online seminar about Releasing Fear the first week of April and I will post details on here about ten days before.  We still do what we are guided to do in meditation and prayer, but in and with total peace.  I know, believe me I know, taht is not an easy thing.

Shalom and Amen

Is the Past Ever Truly Put to Rest?

night sky and stars

The past came has come visiting me these past few weeks, almost like a haunting, like a ghost.  It stays buried for a while, but then either something with the fibromyalgia, something will resurrect the ghosts of the past, all the frustration about not paying attention to God’s plan for me, frustration about letting my childhood stuff cloud my choices etc… into adulthood.  The past should stay in the past, shouldn’t cloud tomorrow, but I realized something.  It has taken away, rather the baggage I have carried has taken away  from me.  It has up to now taken away any sense of safety, of choice, any real sense of the ability to make choices, not the right ones. In essence, what was ahead scared me because what had been had hurt me so much.  Yet, I kept putting myself in relationship and career situations that would hurt me, cause pain, be one wall after another, one obstacle after another.  It is only now that I am coming to understand this fully, this notion of being scared of what was before me, so I didn’t embrace, seek out fully God’s plan for me because I was too hurt by what had been and couldn’t really trust anyone fully, not even God.  Am I in a place of being totally healed, where I can totally trust, even totally trust God?  No, getting close, getting there, but not totally there, not yet.  I am sure God understands and He is quite patient, so I just have to keep walking the journey till I get home, that’s all.   What does home look like? Lots of music and ministry/coaching and lots of smiling as I share God, and the lessons of life with all the world, God’s path for me.

Shalom and Amen

Can You Legislate Ethics etc…?

Hillary's Crime

How often have we seen politicians and others invoke their faith, yet when we look at their political lives or their lives in service to the church we nod our heads in disgust?  How many times have we hung our heads in a sense of defeat at how those in political and religious places on high have committed all manner of sin and transgression, in the case of politicians broken all kinds of laws that if we did the same thing, we would be crucified for, yet they skate off into the sunset untouched?  How many times do we see that laws do exist such as immigration laws, yet they are ignored, or not enforced?  Laws do exist to try and hold us to standards of good conduct etc.. and they should, but can laws alone truly make us an ethical moral society, one of true integrity, abundance, prosperity?  It seems not from the look of things.  Why not, why don’t laws alone work? 

The law alone can’t do two very important things, educate and change hearts.  Those two things are very important.  To educate for example on the foundations of America, including the important role the Christian faith played in it and Western civilization you have to have people open their hearts.  Once the hearts are open, then you can provide accurate education about the history of the nation, of the faith and so much more.  You can also come to an understanding of how to create balance of law and order with empathy, with the discernment that it is best to teach how to fish rather than provide the fish directly, and such.  Having laws, a framework to encourage ethics, integrity etc.. is important, necessary, and enforcement of those laws is also crucial, but that alone won’t do it.  It has to go much deeper, which is why civics, literature studies, the classics, debate and critical thinking teaching used to all be an integral part of education, of formation of youth in schools.  The law does serve to restrain the heartless as MLK aptly put it, so again we do require laws and we do require law and order, national sovereignty, even individual sovereignty, responsibility for our actions etc…  It is also imperative that hearts and souls be transformed to where day to day living is based on a foundation of objective moral ethical truths and integrity, for individuals and societies to thrive.   Without that, the law alone is not going to be enough, will never be enough, never.

Shalom and Amen