Caring or Insecurity, Which Is It?

How Do I Love Thee?

How do I love thee, let me count the ways?

This poem came to mind today as I sensed the loss of someone I am deeply connected to on many levels and yet because of whatever religious traditions and needing space I can’t physically be there with them as they keep vigil.  When you have been the child of divorce and if you don’t have a strong spiritual base, and have not grown significantly, the frustration of not sharing in every single moment of the life of the person you love deeply will bring up issues.  

However, when you do have a strong spiritual life, strong intuitive and spiritually discerning life, and you can step back, meditate etc… you can realize that there are circumstances where you may not be able to and be okay with it at that time, knowing it is soon to change.  You can trust the relationship, the connection and know when to check in and ask if they are okay and let them know you are there for them.  If I get a bit concerned about not sharing in something I have to step back and remember it’s not always about me, not if I am in any kind of relationship, connection and such. It’s about us, the relationship, the connection also, and them.  They may be trying to protect me, knowing the fact that I have my own fibromyalgia and such issues, an elderly mom I have to take care of also because of the language barrier.  They may be trying to be considerate by not involving me in some of their struggles at this time. I need to consider that also and sometimes I forget and I need to remind myself.

The part about better after death, not sure I agree.  I prefer my other half alive and well thank you very much.  I guess after death we are spiritually perfected and will love in a way we can’t even imagine on that plane.  For now, I prefer to love on this plane, thank you.