Sometimes, A Sigh and Hope They See

Holy Ghost

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There are times when you can see things very clearly, when the Holy Spirit has given you a clear vision and you are ready to forge ahead. Ahhh but…

You wake up and have a solid vision let’s say in regards to your vocation, to the path to take in that regards and you are well under way and you see in front of you ship ready to sink and the other person also knows the ship is sinking and they need to reverse, chart a new course, but like many of us don’t want to give up on their “child”, their idea, no matter what.  You hate to see them going in circles, bang their head against a wall and you have given all the input you can, so what do you do?  You may have to step back, just step back do you thing, work on what you need to work on, pray and meditate the Holy Spirit will come upon them with the same vision you were given or a complimentary one.  All you can do sometimes because anything else will lead to you banging your head against the wall.  You have to know when that point is to step back, really listen to your spirit, inner self connected to the divine realm.

Another scenario, one wakes up and realizes their soulmate is front of them, and as an intuitive you know they have realized it, so why is there not a moving forward more specifically, an integration socially etc…? If you are a person who wants things said, done, let’s go, get to it, times a wastin, speak up, let the heart flow, let’s go, you might wonder why the other person is not speaking up, letting the heart flow, sharing his or her feelings etc…  For some realizing their twin flame soulmate is right in front of them and they have feelings after they have done everything to numb themselves because of crap they have had in their lives, maybe they have even had a divorce, not an amicable one.  Any number of reasons may make them very reluctant to acknowledge or to accept that they have had this realization or that they are feeling anything for anyone in any intense way, or any deep way.   They have learned to be numb, detached, be butterflies in philanthropy, socially and all that, but as far as making a wham bam wow rock my world connection, twin flame soulmate connection they are petrified of that.  What do you do? Caring, support, not phony tell you what you want to hear support, sincere, from the heart, even if that means saying what they might not want to always hear, but need to.  You meditate, pray, envision the walls they have put up crumbling down, all the unprocessed pain etc… faced, processed and released so they can admit to the twin flame soulmate connection and move on it.  If they can’t, if they refuse to take down the walls for because of life circumstances can’t, then ask for divine sacred guidance and for things to unfold to the greater good of all.



What Can I Be Certain Of?

aspen trees

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We often hear about not seeing the forest for the trees and all that, right? We also have this tendency in life of constantly wanting guarantees, of wondering how can I be certain of this and that? What of the faith journey, of love, of anything?  

Let me begin with my faith, my Christian, Catholic faith.  I have been open in saying that there are certain things taught by the church that don’t jive for me, never will, they are man made, not Christ made, they are assumed and inferred.  What does that leave me with, what then can I be certain of?  Well it is not rocket science, not for me.  I am certain based on holistic biblical text, connection the dots of the following:

  • The Trinity
  • Sin is missing the mark in behavior and such
  • There is natural order of marriage, sexuality, of all things
  • The main role and job of the church is to teach on this and the power of the Trinity and prayer to help us maintain natural order and stay on the mark

Does this mean we always will, no, but we are not perfection, nor robots, we error, but we can be forgiven and get back on track, get second chances to get things in order somehow, even after we have missed the mark.  We don’t have to punish ourselves, stay and live miserable, that is never an option, ever.  That I also realize.

What of love, vocation, what of those?  In these areas I realize:

  • I can’t let the past determine the now or the future
  • I have to allow myself to love and be loved
  • I have make the Trinity, my faith the center of any relationship, not the religion per se, but the faith, the Trinity, prayer
  • I have to love the person for who they are and they have to love for who I am
  • We have to really be partners on so many levels, integrate into each others lives fully
  • It’s okay, that we can be as one and still be individuals, to not be afraid of that
  • My path is arts ministry, finding a way to combine the two for my joy and to fulfill The Great Commission is my path, one I should be more than ready to make

It’s such a blessing to have these realizations, even if later in life, but to have them and be ready to embrace them fully.  I hope to have someone to embrace them with in my life soon.


Being Social or Hiding/Running?


The Journey That is Life.

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Social Butterfly, we’ve heard the terms right and “busy bee”, which on the surface can sound great, but what is the motive behind being a butterfly and a busy bee?

Motivation is often the key to a lot in life.  I have at times, including when I did not want to deal with pain and the reality of fibromyalgia done the busy bee thing, trying to be involved in anything and everything at once.  The result was major fibro crash, so not so smart.  The human tendency and we kind of see it from the get go even in Genesis is to evade, run from, escape, not face up to things, not want to deal with things.   Some go to extremes to not deal with or face their own pain, hurt, memories etc…, drugs, alcohol, not everyone.  Some find the arts as their way to get out the pain etc.., even cooking as a therapeutic way to deal with stress, and pain.  There is no one size fits all for how one deals with pain whether that is prayer, meditation, the arts, cooking, baking all in moderation, in a healthy way, even socializing.  However, when a person totally delves into a frenzy of hoarding almost one friendship after another, one activity after another, one charity after another etc…, afraid to be in silence, alone, alone with one’s feelings, thoughts etc…, well not good.  Everyone has stuff that is not so great in life that happened, decision they wish they had made differently, things they wish they had handled differently, but with prayer, with faith, with changes in current patterns that can be washed away, one can find new life.  That is healthy and wise, quite healthy and wise to do so, recommended actually.  

However if one is scattered all over the place in a constant flurry of activity, has to always be surrounded by people activity and noise because they can’t be alone with themselves, their own thoughts and feelings, memories, not good.  I realize there are going to be some sad, lonely times, moments, even when God unites me with my twinflame soulmate in true union, in sacred union, the nature of life.  I realize I need to have those alone creative times, which I don’t really have now to create music and record freely what I write, to be alone with memories, even painful ones, process them and cry if I need to or want to, ball my eyes out if that is what I want and need, feel my chest rip open and know I will still be okay, maybe even write some awesome stuff out of it.  I may also end up remembering some really great stuff and write some funny, even joyful stuff, who knows.  My activities should be not many, not busy bee ones, but few and ones I do because they are truly dearest to my heart, and time I spend should be spend with very special people.  I spent this weekend having a great time with truly great people from the Joseph Petrosino Lodge, for a cause I believe in supporting veterans.  I realized in terms of my meet up groups I need to get out of most of them because they really don’t interest me they were groups I became part of just for busy bee reasons, not because they really were anything I was going to be really active in.  I also realized I don’t have to prove anything to anyone, just have to appreciate the gifts God gave me and use them wisely and effectively.  Time to really streamline my life, my activity, time to be authentically me and grow up once and for all, but like I said still be me, sweet and spice, all rolled up into one.


Mom, All Encompassing


A mother is like this garden in a sense. A garden huh? Yeah, a garden.

A garden has different flowers and trees and though weather and seasons may cause periods of dormancy in the garden, it will bloom, it will survive.  A mother must be like that as well for her children.  A mother must have different tools in her arsenal to help her children become health adults and be able to contribute to this society with their God given gifts.  They must also however be wise gardeners of their own garden lest they burn themselves out and be unable to then be of any use to anyone including their children.  They must cultivate their own garden, but also be careful in cultivating their children, who can also be considered a garden full of potential, so they can learn to become wise gardens for themselves at some point.  Mothers have quite the task of being many things, wearing many hats of having to love, but not to the point of creating dependency so the child never quite becomes a truly independent adult, yet still maintain a strong bond with them.  They must be clear that they are the parent and not their children’s buddy, though there must be trust both ways. Mothers have quite a task nurturing their own gardens to stay healthy on all levels and at the same time the garden that is their kids.  Not an easy task.  If that mother has issues of their own, even trickier.  Mother, the ones who bring us into this world when not warped by modern feminism for hatred of motherhood and marriage, and of men are the linchpin of society.

My tribute to mothers I give by sharing this poem by Lucretia Maria Davidson

O thou whose care sustained my infant years,
And taught my prattling lip each note of love;
Whose soothing voice breathed comfort to my fears,
And round my brow hope’s brightest garland wove;

To thee my lay is due, the simple song,
Which Nature gave me at life’s opening day;
To thee these rude, these untaught strains belong,
Whose heart indulgent will not spurn my lay.

O say, amid this wilderness of life,
What bosom would have throbbed like thine for me?
Who would have smiled responsive?—who in grief,
Would e’er have felt, and, feeling, grieved like thee?

Who would have guarded, with a falcon-eye,
Each trembling footstep or each sport of fear?
Who would have marked my bosom bounding high,
And clasped me to her heart, with love’s bright tear?

Who would have hung around my sleepless couch,
And fanned, with anxious hand, my burning brow?
Who would have fondly pressed my fevered lip,
In all the agony of love and wo?

None but a mother—none but one like thee,
Whose bloom has faded in the midnight watch;
Whose eye, for me, has lost its witchery,
Whose form has felt disease’s mildew touch.

Yes, thou hast lighted me to health and life,
By the bright lustre of thy youthful bloom—
Yes, thou hast wept so oft o’er every grief,
That wo hath traced thy brow with marks of gloom.

O then, to thee, this rude and simple song,
Which breathes of thankfulness and love for thee,
To thee, my mother, shall this lay belong,
Whose life is spent in toil and care for me.

Creative Flow & Removing Negativity


Inspiration Peace and Joy

I give you two gifts, and may they both enrich your life. One is a short meditation I created to help bring out creative flow in each of us and the other is something I found on youtube that I like to listen to myself.


 – A meditation I created, enjoy

Something I came across on youtube and listen to periodically, enjoy.

It All Starts With A Seed, Then Our Reaction etc..

single seed

A seed, one single seed, that’s where it starts, a notion, an idea, a single stirring etc… either from us or another.  That single seed can then lead to a series of other things, actions, reactions.

God started with one phrase “Let there be light”, the “big bang” or whatever you want to call it and then he continued to have things unfold, the Word, the Word eventually becoming flesh for our salvation, his resurrection conquering sin and death for all who would believe in him.  A seed, the start of a world, of the creation of something incredible that okay is not perfect, has gone wonky and these days back to Sodom and Gomorra wonky, but still an amazing creative achievement, us included, even if we do go wonky and loopy.  I am sure God just hangs his head and shakes it in despair often as do many parents with their offspring, but still love them with all their being.  A seed, Abraham who would be father to a host of nations and whose wife due her impatience created a mess historically in that part of the world by not waiting for God’s timing, but rushed ahead to have a child through Hagar, an alternate seed planted, not of God’s will of man’s and one that still to this day tears the world apart.  The seed of a beautiful talented artist such as a DaVinci, or any number of others in our history who have enriched the world from various cultures, whose journey started with the seed of a wonderful imagination that was able to take flight and soar.

Seeds have the potential to create beautiful things when they are nurtured, when they are given structure, the right support, tools etc… they can be used for the greatest good, they can create abundance for each individual and move life forward, but the seeds I am realizing have to have clear intent, positive intent, a number of elements to them and be in accordance with God’s will for your life, also in line with Biblical truth.  I am now at a point of really going back to meditating on what does God truly wish me to do with the rest of my life and my instincts are really gearing me to church arts and education ministry as well as life coaching.  However, I am going to be meditating and praying on this further, so I can plan good seeds and bring forward the best possible harvest I can bring not only for myself but also for others.


Discipline and Focus Fun? Yeah Possible



When you tell someone “Declutter, Focus, Streamline” you might get a cringe, a roll of the eyes, a look that says “boring” and it can be, but that depends.  I am realizing that now for myself.

As I think of recording meditations and spoken word projects to bring to you for this and my other blog, even the process of then mixing and mastering the pieces I could think boredom, but no because I love sharing with all of you, potentially making an impact for good.  Yes the process of recording different parts to a longer meditation then mixing the pieces then the music that part can be a bit tedious, same with any spoken word or songs that are a bit lengthy if I feel it is best to break them up in terms of recording then mix them together after.  Yet, still it is worth it because I love coaching, impacting, inspiring, even through the arts.  I realize I have to be consistent in recording material regularly, creating material regularly and that takes discipline and will take even more discipline down the line, but that’s okay.  It need not be boring if I love what I do and why I am doing it, in addition to it being my calling.  Then there is the potential project with the church that I hope to be  apart of the Arts and Education Program that has so much potential.  Again, like this garden here it will take landscaping and planning, which may not seem like fun and the practice time artistically, , research wise will be significant, but since I will enjoy I am certain the company I will keep during that time, then it won’t seem really like work, will it? 

The words declutter, discipline, focus, streamline all that, maturity don’t need to be negatives depending on the following:

  • Are you following your calling, true heart’s calling?
  • Are you enjoying the path you are on?
  • Are you enjoying quality of people not just quantity for the sake of quantity of people and activity?
  • Are you enjoying the key people you are making the streamlined focused journey with are will be making with?
  • Do you believe in it, in you, in them?

If the answer to these is yes, then no problem, you will not feel like you are caged in and you will be able to find joy, even in the midst of discipline.