Seeing It Through

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

 

Life is a rose with thorns, it is never just the rose, and we must accept the thorns as we embrace the rose at times.  It does not mean that we must allow the thorns to piece us or that we must necessarily bleed to where we lose sight of the rose, the beauty of the rose.

Sometimes the Lord will call us to something, to a vocation, a calling, a project a path, something that will be a beautiful rose with so much potential, so much potential for growth and faith development, but have thorns and we can get deflated, we can get discouraged.  Some might even see that others seem more apt to move thing along, to know what to do with the situation etc…, have a better grasp of things, feel they can’t do this, while other person seems to feel easy breezy know exactly what needs to be done and how, the whole enchilada.  The Lord may have you in a situation where you see clearly what has to be done etc.., the other person/s don’t and it’s frustrating, so you lose sight of the rose, see only the thorns that pierce your heart with frustration and anxiety.  That has been the case with me and a current endeavor the Lord has given me, a gift, a rose, beautiful rose with so much potential to blood into a full garden of roses.  I can’t see that garden bloom if I walk away, if I have no firm staying power, so I have to stay, nurture the garden of roses.  Even if there are thorns, I have to shield myself with the Golden Armor of God, with Prayer, Meditation, Faith and move forward.  I can not give up, can not walk away, have to see this through for myself, for the church, for this great gift and opportunity that God has given me.  There are some really great people I am seeing coming to the church wanting to work with us and teaming up with them, great stuff can happen, and I would hate to lose that opportunity because of a thorn or two, because of others not getting it, not getting what’s needed for the church to thrive and succeed.  I would really hate to see that happen. I will pray, meditate, work around all thorns, obstacles etc…. and thank the Lord every day for this gift, opportunity to use my gifts for his glory and for the faith community and my heritage.

Amen

Won’t Apologize For Being Tough Cookie

soaring eagle

I realize I can be a lot like a hurricane, a tropical storm, a strong wind, all those things, and I can be a tough cookie when working on any project, can really be a tough one.  To those who take life as easy breezy, whatever so what it happens when it happens, want to fly by the seat of my pants, don’t see any reason for planning way ahead, weather any storm as it comes, I can be a handful.  I can be in your face, hawk flying over you, hovering all that. Should I apologize, hmmm…

Some might think I should, but I won’t.  I won’t apologize for being me, for being a tough cookie who has learned that flying by the seat of your pants is a bad way to do businesses and makes you look like a fool.  People will walk away if you don’t have your act together, so now I want to make sure that in any venture I engage in I have my act together, and that everyone I am dealing with has their act together.  This week when I meet with a particular artist, and arts director, I want to make sure that I have all the elements together for this meeting.  I don’t want anything left to chance.  I want to make sure that we have a clear path laid out before us of direction for the organization.  I don’t want her to think we don’t have our act together.  I don’t want what I have deemed another “Eugenia Moment”.  I don’t want to have anyone back out, or cancel or anything like that because we are not fully prepared.  Am I a hovering hawk, tenacious in wanting answers ASAP, and all that stuff?  Hell yeah, you bet!  Do I apologize for it?  Hell NO!! I expect people to have it together, and myself to have it together, for all the pieces to be in place before meetings, before doing any event, before anything.  Flying by the seat of my pants may have been cute years and years, ions ago, now it wouldn’t be cute, it would be foolish and make me look foolish and incompetent and I refuse to do that to myself.  I refuse to work that way, to be put in that position, so I can be a handful, but I make no apologies for that, never will. 

Amen!

The Parent Traps

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

 

When a parent leaves, walks out or passes away and the child is young you can end up with the “parent trap”.  The trap can happen out of caring or out of the other parent being really pissed of at the situation that took place.

The caring parent trap can be where the parent cares so much about the child having a positive image they make the parent that passed away or left a saint, this all encompassing hero, this larger than life person.  I get that a parent wants their kid to have a positive model and good memories of the other parent, but his can be a real negative.  If you create a saint to rival all saints and heroes in that parent, that child is going to feel their whole life like they have to bend over backwards to live up to being like this larger than life saint or person you and the whole family created.  That does not help at all, not them, not anyone who has to live with them or deal with them on a day to day basis.  Truly loving them means giving them a very human parent flaws and all, not some mythical hero with a heart, spirit, soul larger than life.  My dad was by all accounts a nice guy, maybe too nice for his own good some might say.  I am glad I have  a very human picture of him, very glad, one that is a mix of strengths, but also weaknesses that hurt him in his life.  Still, I prefer the very human dad than if I had some larger than life myth.  Then there is the other side of the coin, the one where the parent is so angry, bitter they do nothing but tear the other parent down, creating a lot of chaos within the child, fear and a whole bunch of insecurity.  They create anger issues in the child and through adulthood, lots of stuff that is projected and as a child, that child has no real way to process or understand.  They develop a very warped and negative image of the male or female gender due to that.  A lot of damage can be done by this other “parent trap” as I call it.  I understand that loss of  partner under less than ideal circumstances can be reason for anger etc.., but that is no reason to bring poison into the life of the children.  Whatever war is going on between the adults need to be worked out strictly between the adults.

When one parent gives the image of the other parent, any mythology, needs to be left in the mythology section of literature either way.  It is not in anyone’s best interest to create a false extreme narrative of a parent to that child positive or negative. Best to keep it as honest as one can, keeping in mind the age range.  If a parent has left and the child is young, just say “mom/dad left, we have a lot of stuff to work out and it’s between us grown ups, but it’s stuff that happens with grown ups and sorry that you get stuck in the middle, but we love you”.  Don’t create monsters.  If the parent passed away, even if they were great people, don’t create a larger than life myth or saint, make them as human as possible, no grandiose anything to strive to live up to, don’t ever burden children or anyone with that.  Not fair to them or those around them.

Amen

 

Sometimes, Gotta Let Them Fall

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

Sometimes and some personalities, we have the desire to jump in and save the day, even “save” them, when we see someone in the ocean heading right for a wave, big one, and really rough waters, when we see them headed for the edge of a waterfall or a cliff.

It’s a beautiful instinct and even government liberal progressive officials have that policy when it comes to corporations.   It seems like a really great noble thing to go in and try to rescue someone who has put in wrong people for the job all kind of stuff you can spot a mile a way is going to end up sending things and them right over that cliff.  I know that we should be willing to point out to those we care about and when we care about something when we see red flags that we see red flags, so things and persons don’t go over the cliff, the waterfall.  If it is a life and death situation then yes of course we must intervene.  However, there are times in for example one’s professional life, friendship, and other relationships, situations when as much as you know you have some really solid advice etc…when though it is painful and even with one’s kids, parents, you have to step back. Why?

Some lessons about quality of people not quantity, right fit of people for the job, any number of decisions, sometimes the person has to to fall, come crashing down and have it all come crashing down around.  Not that one wants to see the other suffer, but there are times when no amount of words, yelling, screaming, even graphs, nothing will get them to realize that they are close to a cliff and can fall right over any minute.  They have to be seeing the red flags you thing to yourself, been given the stern lecturing, yelling, two cents worth of advice, all of it,   Yet they keep going towards that cliff and like I said your instinct may be in a work situation or a personal one to run in and rescue, bang your head against the wall over and over to “rescue” the situation, the person,  When they made the choices and decisions they made, they were likely convinced they were the right ones and may not be open to seeing the truth even if it is right in front of them.  You might be thinking “why is it important they be allowed to fall off that cliff?”, again keeping in mind if it is a life and death situation then yes intervene, but even then sometimes they have to crash to get it.  In order to learn better ways to do things, to make right choices, choose the right people, right partners so on and so forth, sometimes we have to fail, we can’t be rescued because when one is rescued and if  over and over again well a few things happen according to a good article I discovered in Forbes and I agree with this myself:

  • Self reliance and resiliency are never learned
  • One never learns to take risk, even manageable risk
  • One never learns to adapt to failure and setbacks
  • One never learns to innovate
  • One never learns to take control of situations, or confront people etc… constructively

What do you do?  Forbes made some suggestions and this was for work situations but, you can use the gist of these suggestions for even personal situations.

  1. Share past stories of struggle. Everyone’s been there.
  2. Practice recovery so people aren’t paralyzed by failure. When I was coaching sports, we didn’t just diagram plays. We always developed a Plan B. That’s why great organizations scenario-plan. It helps people think of struggle as part of the process.
  3. Help people around you think like long-term investors in their own ideas and their own careers. The aim shouldn’t be to try to have one uninterrupted string of successes, but rather to have a portfolio of some winners and, yes, some losers.
  4. If someone is struggling, your job is to figure out how to get them on the right path. Help people learn from failure and move forward.
  5. Champion failure that turns to innovation. Find examples where ordinary failure has led to extraordinary opportunity.
  6. Encourage failing fast. Sometimes we recognize that something is failing, and our instinct tells us to push harder to make it succeed. Knowing when to pull the plug is always difficult but is necessary.

Not fun to fall off a cliff or a waterfall at great height or any  height, but if you jump in to rescue, even one someone has chosen the wrong people for whatever reason things are not going well, or in a really awesome direction, and you do this all the time directly rather than guide, encourage and allow them to fall flat on their tukkus and sometimes hard, not doing them any favors, or society because you create a whole world of snowflakes and such.  Please don’t do that!  Thank You. Guide, encourage, let people fall, fall hard sometimes, pray and meditate over these things, but don’t run in to rescue constantly.

Amen

 

 

Why False Accusations Matter

mourning us

 

In this election the DNC and Killary campaign, along with erroneous feminists like Alred have given credence to false accusations of groping etc…One problem, they have been debunked. That makes this very dangerous.  It makes it dangerous on several fronts.  

It is dangerous because it makes a mockery of real abuse, the kind Slick Willy inflicted on women and the kind Killary inflicted on that 12 year old child whose life she destroyed when she was a young attorney.  It makes it much harder for true victims to make their claim when true assault happens.  Leaked emails show that the DNC took out Craigslist ads for actresses to play the role of victims of assault.  That and Killary destroying the lives of the women her husband truly did assault and of that 12 year old who was brutally attacked and left in a coma shows a dark and horrific heart and soul. For her to claim and Aldred to claim they are champions of women is a bunch of bull.  If they were, they would not be party to these false accusations against Trump and would not be making a mockery of assault, which does scar women.  That is one reason I find the accusations, false accusations against Trump appalling.  

The other reason is that it shows the DNC and Clinton have no character of any value what so ever, nor do they have any viable policy, that they are a continuation of Obma, Alinsky, Marxism and all things that are not what the Federalist Republic Founders of this great Capitalist nation intended for it.  They can not really talk about policy, how it will grow the nation, grow capitalism, the Bill of Rights, Conscience Rights, so they get fake attendees to rallies, hire people to disrupt rallies violently and women to make false allegations.  That says to me, great flaw in character, greater than flaws her opponent might have.  To hire actresses to make up such despicable accusations or even pay or cajole anyone into making such horrible false accusations, whether you or your campaign does it, says a lot and none of it is good.  If I am looking at who gets my vote, based on what the DNC has done, their platform and what Killary has done, approved, the character flaws are too great.  Bankruptcy is a tool of wisdom, pillow talk, locker room talk of a single man, ehhh, but some stuff like what I have seen with the DNC, with Killary’s campaign, her tenure in politics and as an attorney, show flaws that as a Judeo-Christian and Patriot, I can not abide.  The flaws are too great to entrust her to run this nation, too great, particularly her campaign making a mockery of assault on women in so many ways and being a rape enabler, as Dr Gina aptly put it.

Oy!