Who Am I At the End of the Day?

Photo 2015-11-14 at 23.00

As I walk the streets on my way home and look at the sky, tinged with clouds and pearls of rain that are gently falling on my face I start to think about my music, by blog a number of things for some reason and I find myself asking a question.  I find my self asking myself “who am i?”  I did a podcast interview and when I was asked why I do what I do, the blog, the music all of that, I really didn’t have to think about it, my heart spirit and soul, spoke.  I do it because I want to be of service, I want to honor the gifts the Lord gave me.  I don’t do it for fame and to to be uber wealthy.  I don’t do it to prove anything to anyone, not even family, since I could care less what they think of me, what they think in general, sorry but that’s the truth.  I am realistic enough to know they will always go Left, and I will always go Right.  That will never change, so it is what it is.  Today I realized something.  It’s true that the fibromyalgia due to often crashing and different health stuff that has come up has impeded my being active in faith life on a day to day basis in terms of Mass and all that, and at home I do meditate and all that, which I do daly always with thanks and in Christ Consciousness, in gratitude for what he did for us.  If I were to define in a nutshell who I am at the core right before saying artist and minister/coach, it would be this:  A Child of God, A Woman of Faith, A Warrior for Christ.  That is not to say I have not had one or two crisis moments or lapses in terms of choices made, even the saints and apostles had their flaws.  However at the core, this is who I am, this is my identity, and everything I do stems from that and from a holistic biblical truth, which has shaped my firm worldview in terms of governance of nations for them to be Capitalist, Federalist, Constitutional, Democratic Republics, with clear separation of powers etc.., with very few exceptions, like war situation, something of that nature, or true obstructionism that is causing the nations’s important business to stagnate and is thus harmful to the nation.  Even then anything done has to adhere to the Constitution and Originalist interpretation of it as per the Federalist Republic.  Understanding my identity in Christ, in the faith is important because it provide the anchor, the roadmap and more.  I hope to adhere wisely to the roadmap and identity in all things and aspects of my life.  In the songs poems I wrote, in all my work, seeking to inspire, empower and awaken.



Who Would I Rather Stand With?

Who I Would Rather Stand WIth

We are in a world where it’s all about being PC, loved by the world, safe spaces etc…, don’t offend, don’t hurt feelings, accept everything under the sun and every lifestyle no matter what because you don’t want to be judgmental, it’s all about love, God is only about love, right?  Oy, what you all 6 and living in fantasy cotton candy land, everyone has to love and like me or I will fall apart and cry all night?  Seriously? First, get out of fantasy cotton candy land, fast.  Secondly, let’s take an honest look at what sin is, since we all do sin in life, me, you, we all do, sometimes big league, other times small potatoes.   Some of the biggies are murder, lust, that kind of thing and dishonoring your body, other people’s as well, having no regard for your own dignity or that of others, for your life, the life of others. Destroying the life and reputation of others, these are biggies and when does with malice and intent, when planned, to save your own ass, oy!  We often fall into the sheep following and ending up missing the mark of holiness, which in a nutshell can be found in two places in Corinthians where it talks about love is patient etc… and also the poem in Ecclesiastes about a time and place under heaven.  If we look at that, but also at how firmly those in the faith tradition of scripture and the history of for example the Catholic faith stood firm in the faith, even when it was not at all popular, we see that character, strength of character is not found in catering to the world and whims of the pleasures of the moment or fads or leanings of the world, a lack of any boundaries, as we see with the exposing of Weinstein and so much more that is coming up of all the junk that has gone on in our politics. Killing and all that stuff is not just about physical killing, you also commit murder when you kill the entrepreneurial spirit of a nation, destroy the economy of a nation, the Constitutional Republic, so you kill on many levels in life, not just physical.  You can lust not just for a person, but for power, for recognition, for acceptance to where you lose all sense of scruples.  Sin is missing the mark, what is the mark? Integrity of thought, deed and action, that includes how you govern nations, relationships.  We are not perfect, so we will at times miss the mark, but when in a a relationship, or in relationship to our own decisions for ourselves or governance, we constantly miss the mark, then you have a really big problem, now it’s not small potatoes sin, but a major enchilada, a holy moly, an ay caramba!  The reason this can often happen is again we are more worried about being accepted and judged by the world and not thinking about our relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, worried about being PC, winning votes, or being liked by students, by colleagues, being popular with everyone, we think that we are of integrity, substance and respect if we go the way of the crowd, the fad, can just be accepted, liked, loved and wanted by all, all the time.  My response to that, bull and grow  the hell up!

Most of my life, when I wasn’t missing the mark, and even then never giving up my faith’s core beliefs, as I truly do believe in them, I didn’t care if I was accepted or not, liked, or not, could care less, the hell with that.  I was going to stick with Biblical truth as I came to understand it, even when I fell, when I had my weak points, and I was not going to give a crap what the world thought, my friends thought, not my problem, they and even my family of liberals could go to hell.  It has been thus a life of exile in a way, since I don’t do PC and will tell is as I see it, no sugar coating, including what my strong intuition tells me it is often times.  It has not been easy in terms of friendships, especially in a world that doesn’t seem to accept, but rather disdains conservatism, or anything like that, even in faith, nor does it honor a true capitalist, constitutional, democratic, federalist republicanism.   I embrace all of that with vigor, with a firm YESSSSS, and also the right of Israel to exist, thrive etc…, not very popular even within my own family, my Zionism.  Again, I would rather be in agreement with Biblical Truth, with Historical Precedent, with Divine Truth, my own deep conscience than fads, than people, friends, family any of that.  It may mean a sort of exiled life, but that’s okay.  I am not saying it’s not a bit lonesome at times, but rather be me and not PC, than PC and out of line with Biblical Truth and the depth of my heart, spirit and soul. I will make music, I will blog, I will find ways to be a voice for Conservatism and for sacred boundaries, and a non PC, non snowflake society. 


Communion and Union with Miracles

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Yesterday was my cousin’s son’s First Communion and as I participated in the celebration after in her home, though I had not been able to attend the service due to a fibro crash, I realized why ritual, even if it’s a daily blessing from parent to child, a meditation for 5 minutes morning and night matter and as I was relaying what was going with my life the annoying fibromyalgia stuff, but also the great stuff artistically I realized these rituals matter for a few reasons, even if you are not an overly religious person..

  • Remind us of something other than our own tine self, and our own tiny wold, that hey there are others around and out there
  • Sacred boundaries to always consider in life and living, not saying live so guilty all the time you have a breakdown, no, cause that’s not constructive
  • helps us to reflect on where we are, where we have been and where we are going, would like to go, unless you are going to go into self pity mode, waste of time
  • It helps us to appreciate friends, family, as imperfect as they are, including our parents, oh what you thought you were so perfect, huh, since when?
  • Hopefully it helps us to love more, even within boundaries

Do we always get along with those we love and do they always get along with us?  Do we always like each other?  Hell no! In those rituals we find hopefully a frequency of miracles, of forgiveness of self and those within our circles because guess what, we are no pearl, angel, or saint, not 24/7and there are times when we are not that endearing to them, just like they are not to us.  However, in these rituals, celebrations, prayerful, even meditative ro, we can find healing, reconciliations and miracles if we so choose.


What the Old Guard Is Not Getting


I love the Latin Mass, the Masses of the various Societies within the Catholic faith, the solemnity of those Masses, the Reverence.  I believe in natural order etc.., would even without religion just by common sense.  Yet the Bishops chose to ignore the youth, the Catholic youth, invited Atheists and Muslims to discuss the fate and shaping of the RCC and Catholicism, talk about out of touch with your base.  This false notion of sugar coating, of having to spare people’s feelings etc… is so beyond bogus it’s truly laughable, if it weren’t so sad, so damaging to our world, our youth, society, selves, this delusion that all things are equal in God’s eyes in the sense that everything and anything goes so long as there is love baby.  Jesus never said that, God never said that, neither did the Prophets or Apostles.  Not even parents, if they have a brain, would have the philosophy with their kids that, hey anything goes baby so long as we have love in this house. That would be irresponsible, downright criminal.  Think about the disrespect the Synod showed the youth, shows society by ignoring what these young people conveyed was important to them.  It shows the Catholic Church has no respect for them, their desire for Tradition, Conservatism, and Truth, God’s Truth, Biblical Truth.  That is truly sad and UnGodly and why we see the growth of the Eastern Orthodox Church in America and growth of churches like Hillsong, Christian Charismatic, where there is a passion for Christ, for truth, no watering down.  If the RCC wants to retain youth and grow as a church, then it had better learn from these groups and get back to Tradition, Conservatism, be in but not of the world like Jesus taught, otherwise it will lose young people, keep losing them and it should rightly so lose them.  Kudos to the youth that does seek truth and tradition, to be in but not of the world, to all who seek this, who seek God’s truth, holistically, holistic scriptural truth and how to live and apply it in all things, honoring tradition, something I am appreciating more these days.


Situations and Choices, That is the Thing

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When anyone says sin, often people get very defensive, but if you look at Genesis and Eden, what happened, it comes down to free will, choices and consequence of said choices. In the last post I said patterns mattered and they do, but something else also matters, situations, circumstance.  When we decide where to hang out, who to hang out with, what situations we will place ourselves in that is also a choice sometimes directly, other times as a result of choices made, not so wise financial or personal choices.  Prayer and meditation should also be to have divine guidance as to what situations we might steer clear of, what influences we might need to release from our lives, always, always constructively.   Robert E. Lee for example likes whiskey a lot, but he knew he did not do well in controlling his drink and could become less an pleasant, so he avoided drinking, he stayed clear of it, of circumstances where he would be tempted by the drink.  He was proactive in steering clear of “missing the mark”, chose wisdom.  May we be led always to choose wisdom, not place ourselves in situations where we might lose our integrity moral or otherwise. 

Shalom and Amen



Patterns, Even from a Biblical Perspective

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Life is often a pattern of behaviors, life’s outcomes are the result of a pattern of behavior.  This is not to say we are to beat ourselves up forever more. If you look at the scriptures, if you look at writing of poets, each has a style, a pattern of writing and anyone who knows literature can spot whose work it is pretty quickly if you present it without the author’s name.  On many levels life has patterns, relationships have patterns, we have patterns, The Trinity and how they operate, deal with things, also that has a pattern, and there is a DNA of apostolic history, of Patriarchy which God instituted, Christ upheld and women are to be a part of, in different ways, ways that matter, but not in the pattern that modern feminism insists.  Most things have some kind of pattern to them, the pattern can be constructive in our lives and society or not.  If we look at the shift of DNA in society with gender fluidity etc…, all of the shifts, trying to make God, Mother etc…, breakdown of tradition, of family, community close knit, can we say the shifts are constructive to lives and to society as a whole?  What about our own lives?  What patterns are we continuing that perhaps are destructive and not in congruence with sacred boundaries etc…?  Something to think about. 

Shalom and Amen

Verses For Patience

When you feel patience not a virtue in your life and you are waiting on a prayer to be answered, guidance to arrive etc…, as you do what you are given to do meditation, in prayer,  you can keep going back to these verses to help sustain you.

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Why The RCC is Losing Flock?

dark skies


When I read this article I thought about the Pro-Life March and I got a headache, rather a ouch in my head because between this and Pope Francis, showed inconsistency.  It showed a total lack of consistency, of moral backbone.  You can’t have Pro-life marches, yearly Pro-life prayer vigils and all that, then fund an organization that funds Planned Parenthood, an abortion mill.  You can’t have a Pope that seems to want to have bishops re-write the rules as they go along, wing it.  The flock of the church then find themselves lost and looking elsewhere, which is why you see now lots of Catholics moving to the Pentecostal Evangelical and such groups, just watching TBN, The Blessed Life, The Spirit Contemporary Life and seeking other like minded conservative Christians online then to connect, or to have home study groups with.  They feel the RCC can not offer true solid consistency with even its’ own teachings.  Jesus when he says I didn’t come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it, his goal was to clarify it, make it more concise, crystalised.  When you do get to know the core of the faith and you realize the church is not standing by its’ own teachings and then you kind of can’t seem to keep it together, not even get a Pope that can get the teachings coherent and straight, not surprising the people are going to say “sayonara, and adios!”  That is what is happening.  Yours started seeing problems with the RCC a while back and walked away, but because it was my family faith heritage I kept going back.  This Pope, and all that is going on, really don’t know that I can stay and say I would be honoring biblical truth, particularly after the Pope’s reaction to our recognition of Jerusalem.


Prayer, An Act of Love, Yes.

Prayer Act of Love

This caught my eye just now.  Prayer is a big part of scripture and most spiritual tradition have some form of prayer, mantras, something to that effect.  Why?  I I suppose prayer says a few things, especially when you pray for those that have done you harm, pray for justice, not revenge, justice, also for their transformation.  It shows a certain level of spiritual maturity, as well as general maturity.  It also shows God that we are not being self centered, that we acknowledge him, others, particularly if we are not just praying about “give me this Lord, make this happen for me” Me, Me, Me.  If we pray enhance the gifts His wishes to enhance in us and use them as He wishes to use them, as they can best serve His will, that he and you both are overjoyed, in accordance with His boundaries, then I think we show great wisdom.   Praying this kind of prayer I think and for others in this same way and for their well being, their transformation to spiritual wisdom is a great thing.

Context In Faith Matters

Radiant Light


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I was on twitter and got into discussion with atheists, we started discussing America’s heritage, I pointed stuff out, our history, national anthem, last stanza what it says, and then the Bible came up and the thing with it condones slavery, other stuff.  I had to explain context.  I had to explain that you have to look at scripture in the context of that culture, and distinguish between whether they were referring to slaves  brought over on ships or another category of people working in the household.  Also I pointed out that Paul admonishes care and kindness for all who work in the household, one of the servants who returns to the Master, even changes him and then gains his freedom if memory serves. They were not commissioned to overthrow the government or the status quo of the government and if they had created a situation of the house workers etc… rebelling that could have put those very people in grave danger.  Remember there were no civil right groups back then.  They likely felt it was more wise to try to change the sin behavior, is often the wise course, and let the change happen due to change in behavior, in emotions, in mindset through Christ, and power of the Holy Spirit.  There is a whole host of contextual stuff you have to, should at least glance at when looking to know the Bible, historical, cultural, then there is eschatology, Christology etc… To read the Bible is great, but one should have a study to understand proper fundamentals, after all it is the Word of the Creator. Just saying.

Shalom and Amen