Thank You and Hope You Will Consider

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First of all, let me say thank you for allowing me to share my heart, spirit and soul with you and my life journey as well through this blog.  It is a true privilege. Thank you to my fellow Bloggers also for sharing of themselves with all of us.

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  • Meditations that I have created just for my subscribers
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Goals Matter, Why?

Garden

You see this photo, I like it, one of my favorite images that i have downloaded. The reason is it shows steps surrounded by lush green, nature.   Steps are equivalent to goals, so sometimes if you want to get to a great site, sacred site or historical something, you have to climb a number of steps.  Life is kind of like that and the steps you need are goals, those matter, but why and what should you keep in mind when setting goals, well I know I have touched on this before, but I came across this article and wanted to share it with you.

Setting Goals: Your only recipe for success

Goals are like signposts. As long as you can see these signposts, then you know you are heading in the right direction. When you set goals, you eliminate the possibility veering off the track and derailing into failure. When a train veers of the rails, the entire locomotive is derailed. Looking at the rails, one does not see anything special in them; just a solid mass of steel. But that simple mass of steel ensures that the train remains on course and that everyone on board reaches their destination safely and on time.

Goals are like rails. Without them, our claim to success will never find expression in reality. Just as a train must stay on the rails to complete the journey, our dreams, our ambitions, and our desires must find expression in goals that are clear, realistic and timely.

When we have well articulated and clearly defined goals, the journey towards success becomes lighter, even less tiring. This is because goals help us to (i) stay focused (ii) be realistic in our expectations (iii) gauge our progress (iv) avoid being overwhelmed (v) re-evaluate and redefine our strategy to ensure conformity and consistency with our objectives.

Stay focused
John Maxwell says “obstacles are the things you see when you take your eyes off the goal”. How true! Every time you take your eyes away from the goal at hand, you will surely wander off into troubled waters. If you get to a point in your success journey where you can’t see your goal, you are definitely headed into failure territory.

Goals constantly remind us that there are tasks that need to be done, and within a particular time frame, for us to make progress. Without goals reminding us of where we are and what we are supposed to do to get where we ought to be, we will only be working hard and achieving nothing. Hard work, as Maxwell says, “is the accumulation of easy tasks you did not do when you should have”. The easy routine tasks that we sometimes ignore feeds into our success. Failure to perform these tasks will translate into failure.

Goals must be realistic
Goals must be firmly established upon unflinching reality. If you want to go to New York and you only have ten dollars, it would be foolhardy to start packing for your journey. The reality is that boarding a plane to New York from Nairobi costs more than 10 dollars! But you say, “I have faith in God”? Well, faith is not foolish, neither is it an emotion. No amount of goose bumps or frenzied hysteria will take you to New York on ten dollars. Be real or you will miss the deal.

Goals are yardsticks
Like yardsticks, goals help us gauge or measure our progress, or lack of it. Without goals constantly reminding us where we are and what we should be doing to get where we ought to be, we will be running wild. No amount of sticking our head deep into the sand will help us achieve success. We must stick it out to the end by daily attaining the goals we have set for ourselves. This can only be done if today’s tasks are ‘done’ today!

To post pone to tomorrow today’s task will only mean one thing: a clog up tasks. The result is that we end up breaking our backs trying to accomplish both yesterday’s and today’s tasks; resulting in sloppy and unfinished tasks.

Goals help us avoid overwhelm
To de-stress our lives, we need to learn how to work smart by finishing our daily tasks on schedule.

This is important if we are to avoid being overwhelmed by tasks carried over from yesterday.

One of the leading causes of burnout and depression is the failure to tackle simple tasks on time. As tasks pile up one after another, we end up having to work overtime and sometimes overnight; pushing our body to limits it was not designed to go. To avoid overwhelm, learn to decongest your life by doing what must be done today, today! However if you want to work hard and up stressing yourself, go ahead and let the tasks accumulate.

Goals help us re-strategize
Finally we need to re-evaluate and redefine our strategy to ensure conformity with our objectives. Strategies help us achieve our goals faster. However, some of the strategies we use are sometimes rendered obsolete by the passage of time. When this happens, it is important to redefine or tweak them a little.

Strategies must always remain relevant and in line with the desired goals. When they become irrelevant or obsolete, they should be discarded and new ones invented.

Strategies help us save time by crowding out irrelevant tasks; those that only take up our time but which do not feed into in to our goals. Strategies also help us to concentrate on priority tasks; those that are crucial to the attainment of our goals.

Fight or Flight, Which Will It Be?

Baptism of Fire

As I look at my life, relationship with my mom, her’s with my dad, his with his family, all sorts of things, including a certain situation I am working through where I see collaboration as being much more a spiritual, emotional etc.. full force deep connection in order for the professional to thrive, the other person not seeing it that way or fearing that deep few, but deep connections situation, this article caught my eye and so I thought I would share it with you.  There are times when after you have done all you can to make something work, flight is the only option.

Fight or Flight in Relationship Conflict

The fight or flight response is a natural response to danger. Our bodies are created to fight or flee when danger is upon us, such as being attacked by a mountain lion. When faced with this kind of danger, the stress hormones pour into our body, causing some blood to leave our brains and organs and go into our arms and legs. This is vital to us if we are actually being attacked by a mountain lion or a mugger. The problem is that this same response occurs when we become afraid in other situations, such as conflict with a partner.

When in conflict with a partner, we need to have the full capacity of our minds to deal rationally and lovingly with the situation. Yet the moment we become afraid, some of the blood leaves our brain, we cannot think as well, and we automatically go into fight or flight. That is when partners tend to fight or withdraw, neither of which leads to conflict resolution.

Obviously, fighting or fleeing is not the best way of dealing with conflict. Yet when fears are triggered – fears of losing the other through rejection or abandonment, or of losing yourself and being controlled by your partner – the stress response is automatically activated and you find yourself fighting or shutting down. Now matter how much you tell yourself that next time you will respond differently, the moment fear is activated you automatically attack, defend, yell, blame, or shut down through compliance or withdrawal.

What can you do about this?

There are two solutions to this dilemma.

The moment there is tense energy between you and your partner, it is best for both of you to walk away from the conflict for at least 15 minutes. During this time, you can calm down and do some inner work. As the stress response leaves your body, you can think better. This allows you to open to learning about your end of the conflict. Once you are clear about what you are doing that is causing the problem and what you need to do differently, you can reconnect with your partner and talk it out. Sometimes there is not even anything to talk out because the conflict was about the fight or flight rather than about a specific issue. More often than not, it is the stress response itself that is the issue. When you take the time to calm down, you might be able to apologize for your anger, blame, defensiveness or withdrawal, and the conflict is over.

The second solution is a longer-term solution. This is about doing enough inner work, such as the Inner Bonding process that we teach, so that your fears of rejection, abandonment, and engulfment gradually diminish. The more you learn to value yourself rather than expect your partner to define your worth and lovability, the less fear you have of rejection. The more you learn to take loving care of your own feelings and needs, the less dependent you are upon your partner. When your fear of rejection diminishes, so does your fear of engulfment. People give themselves up and allow themselves to be controlled and consumed by their partner as a way of avoiding rejection. When rejection is no longer so frightening, you will find that your fear of being controlled diminishes.

The less fear you have, the less you will be triggered into the stress response of fight or flight. The more secure you feel within due to learning to value yourself and learning to take loving care of yourself, the less fear you will feel in the face of conflict. This is when you stop being so reactive and are able to remain open and caring in the face of conflict.

There is no point in continuing a conflict when one or both of you are coming from fear. Continuing a conflict when the fight or flight response is activated will only erode your relationship. Until you can stay open-hearted in a conflict, it is best to continue to follow through on the first solution – taking a time-out until you feel open-hearted.Fight or

Reflection, Quote for the Day

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Positive anything is better than negative nothing.  To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. If you suffer, thank God! It is a sure sign that you are alive. Elbert Hubbard, American writer, 1859-1915

As I read these quotes I thought of today’s politicos and even so called activists, academics, the mess we are in all over the place and they hit home.  They are interconnected.  Let’s start with the first one.  Positive action to solve issues is always better than sitting around doing nothing and watching the house burn to the ground, and if lives are at stake, people are trapped in the burning building then there is moral imperative to do something.  Same if you have people trapped under a building, right? Yes and no.  There you have a different scenario.  There is a Brady Bunch Christmas special where Mike Brady is called in by this boss who did not listen to Mike about putting certain safety features and he and two other workers get trapped under building rubble.  Of course the family wants someone to go in and save Mike right away, or a team to go in, but if they do, not knowing just how stable or unstable the beams are the whole thing could come down and kill them all.  How would that be good for anyone including the families of those who die under the total collapse of the building?  Mike who is the architect knows the building finds his own way out to safety, via his own ingenuity.   Action needs to be positive, but it can only be so if there is no political or such ambition behind it, no one side only view behind it, and if it is seen in full view mirror historical, cultural, financial etc.. past, present, future to the great good of present and future generations, including financial health of the greater community, includes nations.  Is that asking for a lot of maturity? heck yeah.  Knowing when to do something, a little, a lot, nothing for now, letting individuals, communities and their own ingenuity take over so they don’t become dependent children, individuals, communities etc…  and really are able to take pride in their ability to map out their own destiny, find talents within they never realized they had, or make use of talents they never got the chance to make use of, is crucial.   For politicians and those in high profile positions, doing nothing, doing little, letting We The People, forcing us to solve our own problems, in community, including within the faith community, through the private sector mainly, with our own ingenuity, not telling us we need to suck up the fact that life is not always sweet as honey, has thorns like roses have thorns, and that government is not your mom and dad, is not responsible for your every care and whim, deal with it, is not a good way to get votes, is it?  It guess it wont go over well with the image of smiling, kissing babies and all that come election day.  So, they say nothing of what needs to be said, which is stop being a nation and society of whiners, complainers, vampires, thugs etc…, grow up!  Instead they do Negative Somethings and keep getting us into more debt, more division and a bigger mess. Families are doing the same, parents with their kids, same thing, couples, in all spheres, faith institutions trying to be hip, modern, politically correct being fools and clowns.  That leads us to the third quote.  OMG, please don’t give our young people any sense of competition, any sense that they are not all geniuses in school, or that anyone of them is any less in aptitude in any way shape or form, oh no!  Save them from any speech that will cause them to be hurt in feelings or any way  shape or form, oh poor babies should they have to suffer a different point of you, the travesty the trauma!  Seriously?  A sterilized world, life where you have no emotions, no constructive emotions, no constructive debates, even passionate ones, vigorous ones, where you never are hurt, never are heartbroken is a world of robots, a world of non humans, of cold, lifeless androids.  Sucks.  On the other hand, being pure anger, rage, emotion, can’t handle the truth about anything, means you are perpetual child, annoying child who at some point everyone will want to smack upside the head a thousand times over, wanting you to get the hell over yourself and grow the hell up!  Also sucks!

Sadly this is the world we are living in and yet I would like to think there is hope for this to turn around and for us to live in a vibrant world where heart and reason meet, congeal, work together, where it is about the big picture of common sense for the greater good long term financially for all, giving free reign of ingenuity to the local community and individuals to be able to solve problems, to present solutions, and for a lot of people with a strong backbone, not a society of whiners, complainers etc…, no need for safe spaces and playdough, or whatever it is called, been a long while since I was a kid.

Amen

When A Marriage Must Dissolve

lightening

When a marriage is totally dead, can not be revived is toxic to one or both, is creating ill health etc… and must be dissolved, it is never a happy moment, that moment of realization that this is what must take place, but once you do realize it, then what?  As a child of divorce, not an amicable one, with mom still expressing her bitter thoughts and inability to forgive to this day and making me very uncomfortable and feeling caught in the middle, I am going to discuss this topic.

My advice to both parties to begin with, put your friggin big boy and big girl pants on.  Yes, it sucks when stuff ends, when after putting time and energy into something it dies and has to be walked away from, but newsfalsh you are not the first and you are not going to be the last that is dealing with that situation, so cut the pity party.  What do you do?  GET A GOOD LAWYER, NOT ONE OF VENGEANCE, one who will be objective, fair and make sure you are, and your soon to be ex is.  Get very clear, very centered, very fast, very grown up very fast, very practical very fast, and figure how to move on with dignity, nobility and self respect.  Meditate, pray, put together a plan for moving forward and then stick to it.  Also, get a good lawyer, even a good pro bono lawyer, and with the Internet, you can research and find a licensed with good reviews pro bono lawyer, even with angies list you can find a lawyer with good reviews in your areas.  If you have kids, for goodness sakes, children, stay in adult mode, don’t care how old your kids are, leave them out of your war, it’s your war, not theirs, don’t make it theirs, don’t make it so they have to choose sides, if you do, you are truly losers in every sense in the situation and so are they.  This is my two cents of advice as a child of divorce, not a friendly one.  I also wanted to research and so I am sharing this article.

https://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/the-best-divorce-advice-ive-ever-received.html/?a=viewall

What’s Happening With Memberships?

raise a toast

I wanted to update you on what is happening with the direction of the blog, memberships and membership levels. 

Let me start with the direction.  I am going to steer the blog in the direction of spiritual, life coaching and inspirational.  In terms of spiritual, my background is metaphysical, Christian, and artist, so it will be approached from that aspect.  As for the memberships, the free will include articles as has so far and the premium, please bare with me as I am working on setting up a monthly recurring payment method, will allow you to access e-books, audio and even connect to live events I will schedule via Zoom.  I hope some of you will consider premium membership. 

Again, I want to celebrate and thank my fellow bloggers for their contribution with their time and the work they put in on their blogs.

Shalom and Amen

 

32 Words That Can Change Your Life

32 Words That Can Change Your Life

By: Carina MacInnes

We all have ways of testing opportunities that enter our lives. Some of us just dive right in based on feeling, others walk straight into what they know is right by a gut feeling or intuition. And if it’s not gut feelings or emotions that are the tests of opportunities, it is the logical mind persuading us to ignore those feelings and emotions and test it with our reality of reason.

Most of us do not have a predetermined strategy for testing opportunities, or even more generally to test the actions we take and the choices we make in our lives.

There is an easier way to determine if our choices we make and the opportunities we receive ‘pass the test’. This simple 32 word statement of business ethics was first created in the 1930s and used to turn around a failing company. These four questions were applied by each employee to each and to every minute detail of the company’s workings. This little list of four questions from Rotary International, a humanitarian business organization, is the most widely printed, translated and reproduced piece of business ethics today:

“Of the things we say, think or do:
1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?”

If we built businesses and our lives based on these very simple 4 questions we would be coming from a place completely the opposite of the competitive mind and the lack mentality. As you can see, these questions prompt you to choose what is true, fair, and good, making choices that can build friendships and goodwill. It helps us to see how the choices we make can be beneficial to all concerned.

Because of our societal influences, we most often are inclined to make choices and act based on a competitive mind. This comes from the perspective of lack, scarcity, and ultimately greed.

Any opportunity based on the model of competition and lack will simply not pass the test. Competition promotes strife. It embodies winning one spot, taking it away from all the other people who want it. It misleads people to believing there is only one chance for success, when in reality there is plenty for all.

The competitive model encourages people to rely on a source outside of themselves to give them what they need. This denies the power of their own ability to create what they want. This narrow focus shows they are choosing to ignore the possibility of creating this opportunity in their own lives, instead of trying to win the spot from millions of others.

This simple testing technique takes us completely out of the competitive mind of greed, scarcity and lack. It turns our thoughts and choices toward the positive, realizing there are opportunities we can take that can provide increase for all concerned.

I invite you to use these questions to test your actions and opportunities in your life. If you are seeking opportunity, these questions may help you see things in a different way. In doing this, perhaps you might find an opportunity in your life which truly allows you to benefit the world, while at the same time reaching whatever your dreams, goals, and desires