As we come to another Father’s Day and I am brought back to my dad, my childhood, a not so pleasant correlation of dad and goodbye, which left a permanent scar. Last night, when I got back from having a nice evening with my cousin, who keeps that link alive for me, I was also when we passed by the church went in with the lights dimmed, the quiet of it reminded of my dreams, the ones I spoke about, and whether I should return to the Catholic faith, what were the dreams all about, something started to dawn on me. There are important words, even in the study of scripture, of any faith tradition, in any reading of any significant undertaking. They are literal, symbolic, metaphorical, and also discernment, in terms of which is it? Now what?
I thought about my spiritual songwriting, when I had discerned stuff about what I did need to do and when I felt closest to God. I also thought about what the main feel, texture and theme of the dream was, or the main ones were? I also thought of when did I feel most in touch with God, Christ, Holy Spirit, when did even scripture discernment come, even to more deeply understand the juncture of Bible and Constitution? The main theme/s, feel I would have to say, quiet internal contemplative, in the backdrop of sacred chant. The sense of peaceful contemplative was so beautiful, wasn’t a religious feel per se, but I felt very close to the Heavens. I thought of Psalm 23, the Book of Ben Sira, Jesus peaceful and also strong as they came to get him to bring him to his death. These were what resonated with me in these dreams. Then I thought about the times I most felt scripture spoke to me, and the universe around me spoke to me as an artist, and either very spontaneous, I never plan my writing, or when I was sitting somewhere on the weekend or even during the week with my mini digital recorder listening to meditative contemplative music. I realized that meditation is along with writing my form of prayers, of discerning, understanding the Bible, scripture, life. I need to cultivate a more disciplined meditative, contemplative prayer and study path for myself, even if it’s Zen meditation, learning that form of meditation, praying, conversing with God, Christ for the Holy Spirit to help me write material and provide services that will truly impact lives to the max. The other thing I realized I need to get back that fibromyalgia stole from free has stolen from me in life is community. I want a community that is really going to bring me a sense of peace, of really bringing out the utmost creativity, potential for me to give back to society and make sure that God can see I have not wasted my gifts, talents. I do believe we each have a purpose and an anointing even when it comes to how to serve others in our humanity, and for me I do feel it is the artistic and in providing some slightly tough love motivational, life coaching. I will keep you posted on this journey,
Amen and God Bless.
To all the great Dads out there God Bless!