What’s Up?

Garden
Heart, Spirt and Soul Who We Are

What’s up with the blog, well I wanted to shift things.  The blog is undergoing a bit of a change.

There will be two membership levels:

  • Free -basic articles and content
  • Premium $20 a month, that will include ebooks, including children’s ebooks, as well as digital audio, such as full meditations, mini seminars

I felt I had to do this and take things in my work to the next level.  Thank you  to all my followers  Thank you to all my fellow bloggers for your contribution to the blogger world. 

Amen

Echoes of Path Not Taken

Garden Path

As I work with the church, as I realize I am on the right path as an artist and minister, as I connect with these artists I see echoes, the path not taken.  Why was that path not taken?  As I said in a previous post, this year my birthday has been a somber one and unlike ones in the past three years, I din’t really have any smiles or anything like that, just lots of somber reflection.  I guess over 50 will do that to you.  Why was the path of artist and minister combined not taken?

Baggage and fear at the root of it.  How?  I carried baggage from childhood with me into my young adult years and up until a few years ago.  It was a heavy load and it created also fear, fear that I wouldn’t be perfect enough, get things perfectly right on the one hand, but so anxious to do that I didn’t really listen to the Holy Spirit as I should have for my own life.  My intuitive side was great when it came to other people, dreams of foreknowledge about friends and family, discernment for them, all great, but for me, for my own life, the baggage, thus the fear, and thus not such great decisions were the result.  If I had been able to let go of the baggage, the fear from that, and discern, I probably, even without any support from the family for my artistic bent, or from mom, I could have done the following.  I could have joined a church choir, stuff like that and with that compensation, since college paid for private voice and acting lessons, since music is also in a way theatre.  I could have built a career as an indie artist and songwriter.  I had so many negative voices from that baggage and also some negative external ones, which I allowed to interfere.  The arts has its’ pitfalls, no doubt, so a strong faith life, a strong boundaries spiritual and faith life, as well as community of like minded people of strong faith etc… are the way to keep you grounded.  You also have to really let go of baggage, fears and pre-conceived notions of fame, fortune, success all of that and do it for the love of the arts.  You also have to have a life and other interests outside of that, again to keep you grounded.  

This birthday, my life has had echoes, echoes of could have, should have, wish I had done.  I can’t change what was, but I can change what is and what will be, this is my opportunity to help this parish thrive, and also to put down the echoes.  I also need to find ways to earn my daily bread with these gifts and then those echoes will be further put aside and dissolved.  Life has been quite a journey and I don’t want anymore echoes unless they are of my having realized my full potential in this area and come into union with my truest soulmate, the man who is my truest soulmate at all levels including creatively.  Now, I need to totally trust The Lord, not the voices of a negative nature.  Don’t get me wrong if people see a pattern that is not healthy for you, even in terms of the projects you are doing not being right in line with the Lord, or not succeeding and requiring an overhaul of some kind, that’s different.  I am talking about those voices that chip away at your confidence, self esteem, that do not value your talents in full or at all, may even mock them.  Those voices you need to drown out with the Holy Spirit’s voice and solid scripture, prayer, poetry, music that will uplift etc…  May all listen to and fully precisely discern it and our path early on in life, that is my wish for all.  I look forward to great work at Most Precious Blood and also in ways that will earn me my daily bread in spades as they say.

Amen

 

New Year, New Start, Where to Start?

soaring eagle

As August 4th approaches, my birthday, my 52nd birthday, I ask myself what do I want, what gift do I want the Lord to bring me?

I guess I could complicate it, get overly analytical about it all, go through a whole childhood issues analysis, get all academic and intellectual about it all.  At the end of the day it really is not that complicated at all.  In a nutshell I wish to never depend or rely on the government for anything, not for sustenance, or for anything other than homeland security and mass transportation  I wish to be totally self reliant, no matter what my health situation is, no matter what my situation in life is period.  I wish to do what I love which is the arts, and life coaching, to earn my daily bread through that in some way, and see past seeds I have sown bear fruit. I also want to preserve the parish I am working on helping to preserve and help grow.  I wish to do solo gigs and earn my daily bread, to do seminars, earn my daily bread.  I also wish to keep volunteering for the parish, it pleases my heart, spirit and soul.  I wish to have a place to call totally my own and a group of artists to work with and record my material with, to pray with daily, which I have formed, my own group that prays, jams, performs and records together.  That is what I wish for my 52nd birthday.  What about the icing and cherry on the cake as they say?  That would be a really great and dependable, reliable like minded artistic, as well as like minded worldview kind of guy who shares my heritage, faith, and conservative worldview, values to share it all with, to artistically create, jam etc… with, even perform with, real partnership.  Someone whom I can start this Gossamer Wings Arts Circle with, immediately. 

If anyone wants to know what my prayer is for my birthday, which is coming up in a few days, this is is, in a nutshell.

Than You For the Landscape

garden

Bloggers, those with integrity, whether it be news bloggers or bloggers in any sphere are a gift when they are authentic, their true selves, share that and that perspective with the world, particularly doing so in Christ, from a deep spiritual place within.  We don’t have to all agree, we can vigorously agree to disagree, that’s okay.  For all you bloggers here and those who follow me.

For that I want to say thank you

Thank you for the landscape you provide,

Thank you for the different shades and hues you bring to our day.

Thank you for taking the time to share all that you share,

Even when it is not appreciated, when the response is callous etc…

Thank you for making us think, perhaps from perspectives we otherwise wouldn’t,

Even if we don’t agree or change our own view in the end.

For this and all that you contribute, thank you and God Bless.

Thank you fellow bloggers for your words, images, for all you bring forth.

Amen

Why We Hold On, Even When Drowning

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

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We all have dreams and we have such high hopes for them to come true, maybe a childhood dream that we have always had.  Understandable, what nourishes.

Suddenly seems you have that chance, that opportunity to make it all a reality, and you pour heart and soul into it, sweat blood and tears to make it happen, to make it work, yet it doesn’t.  What’s going on and what do you do?  Could be that what you are offering is not what people want, are looking for, need.    Could be that the concept in general is fine, just the content is not what people want or need.  Could be God rejects what you are doing and won’t allow it to move forward for whatever reason.  Could be your motivation is not in line with what God thinks it should be. These are just some of the things that come to mind as to why projects, dreams don’t move forward, don’t bring forth fruit.  Why do we hold on to them even though they are not bearing fruit? Dreams are like our children.  The thought of letting them go, die etc… pains us, is hard to fathom, hard to do, as the song says “breaking up is hard to do” that goes for us and our dreams.  No one wants to walk away from their dream, their dream project that they implemented.  There is also pride, especially when everyone is telling you you’re spinning your wheels.  You don’t want to give in because well, human nature. You don’t want to give them that satisfaction of folding up your tent, paramount to admitting to all the nay sayers that they were accurate in their assessments.  You prefer to keep going even when deep down you might know this is not working, not what people are responding to, want or need.  You might not do anything to move on the things that are going to be embraced, might drag your feet on those. If anyone decided to go right ahead and make all that other stuff happen, not wanting to fiddle faddle, to dawdle, get a move on the things that will work, you might get darn right offended dammit that you are not being supported as you feel you ought to be.  That may not be the case at all, but you might perceive it that way.  Again, dreams are like children and you don’t want to let them go or lose them.  

What do you do with these dreams, these dreams when they come up smack against reality?  Well, you could just ignore reality,  cross your arms, ignore all all input, feel negative about the persons giving the input because they care,  see the writing on the wall as they say, follow only that dream you have, nothing else.  You could do that, to the very end, no matter what the fiscal etc.. consequences.  I myself, been there, done that, not a big fan.  You could adjust the plan to what The Holy Spirit gives you after much meditation and prayer, so it fits God’s will not yours, not easy for us humans to do, pride you see, remember we were tempted by the serpent who said we could be God like to have all knowledge.   You could just accept that the dream needs to be let of and mourn like you would for anything else that you love and you had to release, had to let go of, though it pained you.  Different people will respond differently when faced with reality of the dream not rendering fruit, once implemented.

What of those around them who may not agree with the dream being continued even as it is clearly not rendering fruit? What of those around them who are in any way affected by the financial ramifications, let’s say a musician who is paying the band out of pocket because the gigs for the past year have not produced any revenue though they have heavily invested in promotions etc..? What of his family?  What of friends who care and it hurts them to see him do this and to see all that effort?  What of the band members, those who have heart anyway, how do they feel?  If they have heart, they see no fruit being born of this, and the manager of the band, or if the manager is paying out of pocket for several months, if the band member have a heart, they have to be thinking, no, this is not right.  What do they do? Does the lead singer tell the manager, this can’t go on and risk being seen as the one who burst the manager’s bubble if the manager put the whole band together, launched the dream? If the band members tell the lead singer, will they be seen as the ones who destroyed the dream, burst the bubble, hated?  Will friendships be ruined because the caring won’t be seen, just the bubble bursting?  Tough thing when you have to let go of the dream, and even tougher when you are the one bringing reality home to the dreamer because you risk them potentially hating you for bursting the bubble of this dream.  If you care, and you consider yourself a true friend, then you need to be as honest as you can, with love and kindness, maybe using questions, a parable, like Jesus and those in the Bible did.  If in the end you are thrown out of the kingdom, disliked, at least you know you spoke from the heart.  If you are the dreamer, well only you can decide up to what point you can stay in the dream before it’s time to wake up to reality, even if that reality is not one you like.

This is what the Holy Spirit promoted me to write for my blog today.

Amen

 

Creative Flow & Removing Negativity

spiritual
Inspiration Peace and Joy

I give you two gifts, and may they both enrich your life. One is a short meditation I created to help bring out creative flow in each of us and the other is something I found on youtube that I like to listen to myself.

 

 – A meditation I created, enjoy

Something I came across on youtube and listen to periodically, enjoy.

Release From Fear- Mastered

spiritual
Inspiration and Love

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather acting in spite of it, even when we have been disappointed, let down, even hurt, maybe even more than once, especially to follow our true heart, our dream, that which God has placed in our heart, spirit, soul, a true vocation, even the courage to love again.