Why We Hold On, Even When Drowning

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

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We all have dreams and we have such high hopes for them to come true, maybe a childhood dream that we have always had.  Understandable, what nourishes.

Suddenly seems you have that chance, that opportunity to make it all a reality, and you pour heart and soul into it, sweat blood and tears to make it happen, to make it work, yet it doesn’t.  What’s going on and what do you do?  Could be that what you are offering is not what people want, are looking for, need.    Could be that the concept in general is fine, just the content is not what people want or need.  Could be God rejects what you are doing and won’t allow it to move forward for whatever reason.  Could be your motivation is not in line with what God thinks it should be. These are just some of the things that come to mind as to why projects, dreams don’t move forward, don’t bring forth fruit.  Why do we hold on to them even though they are not bearing fruit? Dreams are like our children.  The thought of letting them go, die etc… pains us, is hard to fathom, hard to do, as the song says “breaking up is hard to do” that goes for us and our dreams.  No one wants to walk away from their dream, their dream project that they implemented.  There is also pride, especially when everyone is telling you you’re spinning your wheels.  You don’t want to give in because well, human nature. You don’t want to give them that satisfaction of folding up your tent, paramount to admitting to all the nay sayers that they were accurate in their assessments.  You prefer to keep going even when deep down you might know this is not working, not what people are responding to, want or need.  You might not do anything to move on the things that are going to be embraced, might drag your feet on those. If anyone decided to go right ahead and make all that other stuff happen, not wanting to fiddle faddle, to dawdle, get a move on the things that will work, you might get darn right offended dammit that you are not being supported as you feel you ought to be.  That may not be the case at all, but you might perceive it that way.  Again, dreams are like children and you don’t want to let them go or lose them.  

What do you do with these dreams, these dreams when they come up smack against reality?  Well, you could just ignore reality,  cross your arms, ignore all all input, feel negative about the persons giving the input because they care,  see the writing on the wall as they say, follow only that dream you have, nothing else.  You could do that, to the very end, no matter what the fiscal etc.. consequences.  I myself, been there, done that, not a big fan.  You could adjust the plan to what The Holy Spirit gives you after much meditation and prayer, so it fits God’s will not yours, not easy for us humans to do, pride you see, remember we were tempted by the serpent who said we could be God like to have all knowledge.   You could just accept that the dream needs to be let of and mourn like you would for anything else that you love and you had to release, had to let go of, though it pained you.  Different people will respond differently when faced with reality of the dream not rendering fruit, once implemented.

What of those around them who may not agree with the dream being continued even as it is clearly not rendering fruit? What of those around them who are in any way affected by the financial ramifications, let’s say a musician who is paying the band out of pocket because the gigs for the past year have not produced any revenue though they have heavily invested in promotions etc..? What of his family?  What of friends who care and it hurts them to see him do this and to see all that effort?  What of the band members, those who have heart anyway, how do they feel?  If they have heart, they see no fruit being born of this, and the manager of the band, or if the manager is paying out of pocket for several months, if the band member have a heart, they have to be thinking, no, this is not right.  What do they do? Does the lead singer tell the manager, this can’t go on and risk being seen as the one who burst the manager’s bubble if the manager put the whole band together, launched the dream? If the band members tell the lead singer, will they be seen as the ones who destroyed the dream, burst the bubble, hated?  Will friendships be ruined because the caring won’t be seen, just the bubble bursting?  Tough thing when you have to let go of the dream, and even tougher when you are the one bringing reality home to the dreamer because you risk them potentially hating you for bursting the bubble of this dream.  If you care, and you consider yourself a true friend, then you need to be as honest as you can, with love and kindness, maybe using questions, a parable, like Jesus and those in the Bible did.  If in the end you are thrown out of the kingdom, disliked, at least you know you spoke from the heart.  If you are the dreamer, well only you can decide up to what point you can stay in the dream before it’s time to wake up to reality, even if that reality is not one you like.

This is what the Holy Spirit promoted me to write for my blog today.



Creative Flow & Removing Negativity


Inspiration Peace and Joy

I give you two gifts, and may they both enrich your life. One is a short meditation I created to help bring out creative flow in each of us and the other is something I found on youtube that I like to listen to myself.


 – A meditation I created, enjoy

Something I came across on youtube and listen to periodically, enjoy.

Release From Fear- Mastered


Inspiration and Love

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather acting in spite of it, even when we have been disappointed, let down, even hurt, maybe even more than once, especially to follow our true heart, our dream, that which God has placed in our heart, spirit, soul, a true vocation, even the courage to love again.




So Much For Ease of Technology


I decided I needed to reorder my pages on my blog here and went about trying to do so, well can we say confufuffel, if we can even say that or spell it?  Oy!  

Technology was supposed to make things stress free, easier yeah, so what happened, though I decided to just check the menus and just set up three simple pages with the blog posts and rather than get all nuts and try to smack my computer silly I took it as an exercise in patience, not a strong point of mine.    However, it does tell me I am not reacting to things in the way I used to, and I am able to take things somewhat in stride.  Same with disappointments in life, in not seeing things move forward as I hoped, and working on alternative plans.  The important thing is not whether life etc… disappoint, but how you deal with it, what you do with it, how you react to it.  Yes, there is some sadness etc.., but never get caught up in it, stuck in it, never, that is where you sell yourself and the world short.


Partner in Creativity etc..What Does He Look Like?



We’ve heart the phrase “Make beautiful music together” and I love that phrase.  The Holy Spirit has really had me work overtime in terms of looking at my life, my spiritual path etc.. this Lenten Season.  One thing that he is having me look at is key partnership, that one special once in a lifetime partnership that bring forth creativity on many levels to one’s life..

Today as I was walking home and passed by St. Paul’s chapel, the Holy Spirit have me a revelation.  I always had this fixed idea that my life and creative partner had to be an artist, one who was leaning their life vocation in that direction.  Today as I passed that chapel, the Holy Spirit reminded me of my time teaching, of my blogging and times spent with my cousin’s kids answering questions and doing do in a way that was not too grown up, but not too child like and condescending, how that was creative.  I realized my creative partner and life partner, my life partner and creative partner rolled up into one as i have always prayed for may not be an artist.  It may be a teacher, a life coach, and I have to be aware of that and that creativity comes in many forms.  The Holy Spirit prompted me to ask myself what do I want from a creative partner etc…? I guess it really comes down to the following.  I would like someone to share in helping bring my artistic vision to life, and that includes any workshop, seminar ideas I might have, someone to share in the Catholic faith, to be a true partner and help bring my ideas, even his to life, including within the Catholic community, so that the faith flourishes and I also our daily bread is earned while we also give Glory to the Lord.  It would be a relationship where that we can be totally open and honest and even when we call each other out on our flaws, annoy the hell out of each other, we still love each, care about each other at the end of the day, have each others back, inspire each other on many levels, including creativity, whatever that means to each of us. It would be someone who has purged themselves of toxic baggage and is focused with their path, the journey and the destination, we both have ditched our toxic emotional etc.. baggage and have total focus on our journey and destination vocationally, spiritually etc.. as a real team.   If the creative life long partner God gives me is an artist, cool, but if it’s a teacher, life coach, well, okay, his will be done.  I just know I want a partner in the creative realm that is very focused, can share the Catholic faith, heritage with me, explore it, including, especially via the arts, and be a real equal partner creatively, spiritually, on all levels.  I also hope to have others in my life that I can work with that have their own levels of creativity, again whether they are artists or in another profession, so long as they are creative and have focus, are not scattered doing a million things, fine with me. Creativity the Holy Spirit is helping me understand is not just about the arts, much more than that, so I look forward to seeing who my creative partner, very focused life long creative partner will be.


There Is A Time and A Season

I have meditated, prayed for a pathway in the artistic and spiritual realm combined for years and years.  I have tried on my own, wanting to do it all on my own to move forward.  Yet seemed nothing was really happening.  I thought nothing was, but I was wrong.

What I didn’t realize is that I was laying foundations and in recording and writing, doing what I was doing the spiritual journey, which was like a maze of sorts was all preparing me and building up my confidence for this time, this moment in time.  I am now reaching out to others to seek collaboration and realize I may not be a singer, so much as a storyteller and writer.   Maybe I had better stick with spoken word and writing and let someone else to the singing, the main singing, I can do background or something like that.  I realize that I have to reach out to spiritual institutions that resonate with me and offer to collaborate, to even record albums to sell and part it go to support their organization.  I am hoping to do that with a Jewish Center on 39th street.  Whether I make a lot on the sales or a modest sum, that is not the point, the point is reaching out to collaborate with others, others of like mind, philosophy so I can inspire and be inspired.  Praying alone won’t make the mountain move, I have to be part of the creative process to move it out of the way.  I have to allow myself to be divinely guided as to how I achieve what the divine has inspired in my heart.

I hope this helps to stimulate your creativity and creative path, wisdom, spiritual inspiration.