Dark Room, Headphone, Numb, Yikes!

a dark room

I had a dream this morning about someone I know and it truly pained me because I care about them as a person and what both of us hope to save in therms of our faith and an institution.

When a dream shows me someone carrying a bunch of stuff, equipment, papers etc… and they are about to fall to the ground, smash to a million pieces, them saying oh oh as they try to keep that from happening, and they then refuse all offer of assistance offered, all wisdom, insight advice offered in that same dream, any attempt from anyone in that regard, rather going into a dark room, headphones on, fidgeting with equipment that is not in line with what is needed, just being in the dark, working alone in a dark room, a dark place.  That kind of dream is heartbreaking because it tells me that a person is not only living in the dark about what is going on around them, refusing to heed any advice, any input etc.., but that they have tuned out to true intimacy, true close relationships of any kind.  They are carrying all this load on their own, refusing to accept help, real help, real close deep profound connection help, collaboration etc…  They won’t share anything of depth with you, or rally anyone in any intimate connection way, though they may have lots of people they know.  It was heartbreaking to watch this person in my dream go into that dark room, cover his ears, refuse to hear, refuse to acknowledge, perhaps even his own heart, spirit and soul truths.  One can choose to stay in that dark room forever, alone, shut everyone out, heed no one be a team of one, but that is a dark place to be, letting past hurt baggage accumulated stay there.  One can do the opposite and be liberated from all that junk, baggage, not be in a dark room, not have headsets on and ignore truths about what should be done, reach out and ask for help directly, collaborate, coordinate etc.. directly on a day to day basis.  That takes a lot of courage to do so and awareness of the fact one is in the dark all alone, in that dark room with those headsets.  

What do you do if you have, as an empath etc.., these insights?  When you receive these insights it is usually for a reason, and the first thing to do is pray and meditate as to why you did.  If it’s a dear friend you are an integral part of their life, hang out a lot, really close, you can directly approach them about it.  However, if that is not the case, as much as it pains you to receive this insight, you can also be grateful that you did receive and pray, meditate for their healing of heart, spirit and soul, for release of all their baggage, breaking down of all their walls, all that is toxic etc…for the light to shine bright in their lives.  Don’t give up, meditate, pray and as best you can, offer help periodically, maybe just in the form of thoughtful questions to ponder.  


Beauty Of A Soulmate


I try to find the write words or word to describe what this feels like, to know you have connected to your soulmate.  I guess I have found the words. 

It is like the coming together of a beautiful symphony of the most amazing and beautiful music.  The compliment and synergy that you can sense and feel in every level of your being, consciousness, wanting to be a part of their life, wanting them to share in your life journey in whatever way possible.  It’s truly a beautiful thing.  You don’t feel anxious about it, even if there are logistics issues where you are not logistically right next door.  You have faith that somehow something will happen to change the logistics, somehow.  You’re not sure what, how or when, but you have faith.  You meditate, pray on it and have faith.  You also envision all the things you can collaborate on together, create together so on and so forth. You can see them as your best friend life, your creative partner, so much more developing over time, very naturally, very organically.  The connection is there, you can sense it is there mutually, and there is a similar worldview and even if your spiritual path is taking a slightly different turn, they are a person with an open heart and mind.  Thus, they can still share in your journey, while you can respect their faith journey, that once was yours in some remote way.  When you have found your soulmate it all kind of comes together and you also feel you can be yourself, sweet, but also sassy and they are okay with that.  Your soulmate comes into your life at the right time, like for example to really spur you on to live your dreams, to really bring them to life and find your path, and there is truly a psychic connection, may even receive their thoughts in song and poetry that you write.  You might even feel their pain, physical and emotional pain, angst, which if you are an empath, ay ay and you don’t try to change each other, whatever “flaws” there are, barring really deep ones like abusive ones, you can handle them.  There is a similar worldview, path of goals you have for your lives and at some point you have that conversation, even about how to work towards them as a team.   You can give each other space and you are not jealous of each others friendships and you are okay with any difference of opinion an views, it doesn’t get under your skin or agitate you greatly.  You have that great compliment and synergy.    You truly are happy for the other person’s successes, milestones, encouraging, helping each other all of that.  You are not jealous of the other person’s success, and are happy that they are happy and same goes for them being happy when you achieve and succeed.  You can give each other advice, seek each other out for advice and not have false pride about it and you can say sorry when you have to.  

It truly is a most beautiful gift to be given to find your soulmate and whether you can come together right away or some time after your meet, it is a beautiful gift from the creator to be truly grateful for.

Shalom and Amen


Honor Torah, Charity or Be a Capitalist Republic?


The Torah tells us we must perform Mitzvot, and we must care for one another, for the poor. It gives guidelines on that and on life in general, as does the Pentateuch in general.

The Torah also makes it very clear that in government there must be separation of powers and one must not overshadow the other.  It also makes it very clear that it is the job of the community and the religious institutions to take care of those in need.  The system we have now is not at all in line with the Torah or the Pentateuch.  What would be and how would the USA and people of the USA have to change to honor both the Torah and the Capitalist Federalist Republic given to us, as well as the Bill of Rights?  Let’s start with the whole NFP designation and all that jazz.  Get rid of it, and have every institution pay a flat tax of 10% and deduct loses, work it out so the organizations that do wish to assist those in need, operate tax wise like any other business.  As we have a Bill of Rights, the government, as with all businesses, must not interfere with how they run it and the tenets of the faith etc… standing firm, so long as they do not harm anyone physically, harm animals or anything like that.  No entity should ever be forced, rather the owners forced, to violate conscience.   Again so long as there is no physical violence or call to violence, the government needs to shut up.    If there is no tax exemption, then there is no restriction on allowing for institutions of faith to discuss issues as relates to the candidates and what they represent, even historically for the faith community, and faith institutions.   Then we truly are honoring our Constitution and Republic. We also are honoring upon allowing for freedom of conscience, in having also all branches of the government truly separate, no activist judges to violate the conscience of the faith community and businesses, a government that abides by Torah, by the Jewish Bible and our Constitution.  One can say we should be always of sweet tongue, but yeah, good luck with that one.  Sometimes you have to use tough love and let it rip.

What of charity, welfare all that?  If we did have very smart deals and really had a government that knew what it was doing, so we always came out “in the black”, taxes could be low and then a miracle could happen.  Faith institutions and community itself could organize programs, no government interference to assist those in need.  They could for example if one found one’s self with a disability, a chronic condition and could not work anymore as they did, be the ones to help that person on a new road.  For example I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue, so I could not longer teach and holding down any fixed schedule is near to impossible with my crashing regularly.  What might a faith institution have done to help me?  They could have assessed and seen that I have creative gifts, songwriting, performance poetry skills, blog writing skills, and seeing my creative side and all that, they could done the following.  This is just an idea.  If they cultivate connections with different industries, they could have said “okay, we will give you a stipend and you can work creating songs for the synagogue or found a way to provide a stipend and connect me with opportunities to really work on my craft and make it a career.  Government is not necessary for charity.  These entities can connect one with mentors, ways of discovering and applying alternative gifts to create a new life within a year.  The community institutions of faith could also create their own health and wellness plan, program, working with doctors, hospitals.  The possibilities are endless if government got out of the way.  The same for education.  If all the government did was to administer city wide general testing for basic core subjects to show the ability for critical thinking, and left education to the private sector a lot could be done.  With the Internet, which must not be given into international hands ever, and working within the community, schools could be created online, inexpensive and teachers could even work remotely and they could meet students weekly at the end of the week for a re-cap of it all.  These institutions could get much donated by people and if you still allowed for deduction of charity on taxes, a fair amount, people and companies could donate ipads and stuff for children who can not purchase a computer, in order to do the work.  The point is we could have a top notch America if we truly let the community and faith institutions take care of a lot of stuff, not regulate everything to death, or tax to death. That is never the answer, money and more money is not the answer, but innovation, thinking outside the box, heck yeah!!!

We could all observe Torah, and it would be much better served without government I think.  It is possible to observe Torah, kindness, charity etc… and still honor that we are not a socialist, Marxist nation, must never be one. 

Shalom and Amen

Love Never Really Dies


There are those relationships that take you to the brink emotionally and spiritually, test your mettle to the max mainly because they are so intense.  If you add other elements AYYY AYYY AYYYY

If you are an intuitive, a sensitive, it can be like being in a churner and being churned like butter, and in a blaze of fire simultaneously if you can imagine that.  When you have really not had much experience in terms of relationships, and one or two other tough factors to the mix, it’s really tough.  At the same time because it puts you through the fire, even inspires so much of your creativity, forces so much personal growth over time, it will stay with you forever, and will be a part of you somehow forever.  Granted while you were in it, it was heart and gut wrenching at the time, for you and for them because neither one was in any way prepared for it.  Initially there is lots of hurt, anger etc.., even at one’s self, which may not be easy to let go of.  However, I realized a while back that I had to and mainly the anger at myself for not handling things better, wiser etc…  I had for forgive myself because if you don’t first forgive yourself, you can’t forgive the other and you can’t move forward.  If at some point you were to have a second chance, having matured, you wouldn’t be able to grab that second chance due to you harboring lack of forgiveness for self and thus them.  There are moments when I find myself drawn to have to listen to this, compelled in spirit to do so and I have to conclude that this is because a particular connection from my past is thinking of me, hoping I don’t forget them, the love their was, even in the midst of all the craziness.   No, I will never forget them, and they will always hold a special place in my heart because that relationship or whatever it was really forced me to grow a lot, as did the fibromyalgia and I will always be grateful for that.  I will always remember them and with fondness for this reason.  I may not be fond of their ideology and certain things like that, but that’s a separate thing.  I truly do want them to be happy, truly, as do everyone I have a profound connection to, everyone.  I also welcome the new into my life, should it wish to come into my life.

Namaste, Shalom and Amen.

Chasing One’s Tail, Ay!


I have seen someone I feel a deep connection to grow in certain ways and I love it, really makes me happy, even if they are not yet a part of my day to day life due to stuff they are sorting out.  

However on some levels, ay!! They have closed a chapter of their life, which required closing, which was no longer functioning, was likely making them ill and that is a good thing.  There is residual they have to deal with emotionally etc.. from that, and if they could reach out to me and accept the support, healing I could facilitate, it might be shed a lot faster, but it is up to them whether they are too proud to do so, too old school or whatever.   Emotionally I will keep doing what I have been doing on the prayer and spiritual plane and whatever tough love I have to on this plane to help them in that healing process because I care, I value them.  

That is why I also get frustrated because as an artist I see so much potential for them to shine, and I as an intuitive I can sense so much they have to offer, ideas they have just sitting around waiting to be realized, to come to fruition.  With the right person/s, WOW.  However, and there is no diplomatic way to put this, they are chasing their tail, running around in circles.  You can’t keep doing the same things over and over and expect different results, and that is why I get so frustrated with this person whom I have connected with as an intuitive, an artist with etc…  I see them in their comfy box, always in the same box, the same circles, same people, and so they have put a cieling on top of them and a wall around them, which keeps them in a comfy bubble of what they are familiar with.  Problem is they have so much potential that by staying in that bubble, all they are doing is chasing their tail.  I would love to see them be ble to shed all that emotional baggage, to help them shed it and then to see them break out of that comfort ceiling and wall, zone and help them with doing all those projects they have in mind, be there for them, work with them to help them realize it all, bring it all to life.  I would still work on all my projects of course, but it would be so awesome to help him heal all that risdual crap from all the has gone through and is going through and to help him break out of that ceiling and wall.  I really am praying he can overcome the old school macho do it all myself mentality and let me in to help him heal all the residual junk from all the is going through and has gone through, and really put forward all this amazing ideas, those notepads full of ideas.  It will be a joy.   I really do hate to see him chasing his tail, or anyone for that matter.

Namaste, Shalom and Amen

Two Strong Connections, One Me

Twin Flame Connections Are Haunting and Amazing

Two strong connections, two strong cords.  One long past, yet because they still have you in their heart etc…you are still corded to them, through your gifts. the other present, yet not quite present, vague, lacking total presence in your life holding back, ruled by base instincts of fear and one or two others as well.  

Yet you know as an empath, intuitive both cords strong, both see you as the the one waiting at the end of run with open arms to share their new life with you, so what do you do?  There is only one you, and barring cloning or all becoming polygamist Mormon, you being the one with the two partners, which is not happening, what do you do?  If you are very caring of heart etc… you want both men to have freedom from what no longer works for them, from their prisons, shackles, all things that they are seeking freedom from.  You care enough to want all of you to have a brilliant life, an amazing life and you don’t want for anyone to be hurt.  If you sense in your soul the phrase that one is fate the other choice, then what?  You can meditate that only your fate come forward, or that only your choice come forward, you can do nothing and hope it all kinda works out, whatever and if they show up at the same time, well, make a choice that hurts someone, even if it breaks your heart.  As empath, intuitive, you want everyone to be okay, and to get to a place of everyone being at peace.    One can meditate on the most compatible in terms of worldview, and other factors be given a super duper dose of courage, a  miracle sort out their disentanglement from the former life and set them free speedy breezy and if the other shows up well sorry, I am already with my soulmate, but I’ll pray for ya.  Then there is the least stressful perhaps to meditate on and put out into the universe, which is ” the most courageous, the one with guts, first come first serve, the other who doesn’t show up speedy brezzy to claim the prize, ooops you loose and don’t even show up.”   It’s also hard when there is really only maybe one factor that makes you hesitant about one of the candidates, which is their liberal progressive worldview and about the other, this attitude of ambivalence they seem to have, inability to have communication flow with you, open up their heart completely, being almost as if they were a clam, all closed up that you feel you have to pry open to get any communication or move forward from.  

Which option will I choose? First come first serve, I will wait for no one.  The connection that comes forward first to allow me to be their rock, their BFF, and allow me into their day to day life, that is who will get to keep the key to my heart long term.  Time is fleeting and I have no intention of waiting around for anyone, so first come, first gets the key to my heart and gets to keep it long term.

Important I Be There For Them, YES!!!

The Journey That is Life.

There a things as an empath, and intuitive that are quite comfortable, and no biggie, used to it, as I have had these Gifts of the Spirit as they are called since I was a little kid.  However, as empath etc…, there is one thing that is hard on the body and heart for me, very hard.  

As an empath etc..I can literally feel the pressure, anxiety, frustration in every way, and I mean every way, sense their thoughts, their desire to be free,  which they are in the process of achieving, to be with me, be creating with me, be realizing projects they have in mind with me.  All they feel I feel, literally at different intervals of the day because I am do deeply connected to them and them to me.  This has now become a most uncomfortable situation for me on every level as much as it is for them.  The more the pressure builds in every area the more I will feel it literally and the more my body will be going through great discomfort.  Their refusal to share what is going on directly with me and be with me, society protocol be dammed and I am not advocating anything outside of spending time together in public, talking, sharing what is going on in our lives, socializing, easing that part of the tension at least and allowing me to be someone they lean on.  Sensing all of there pressure etc… and I do mean all, creates not only the frustration of feeling etc…in my heart, body etc.., but then I have the added frustration of wanting to go find them and shake them and smack them upside the head to say, “Get over here will ya, so my body etc.. can stop being in a tizzy.”  I understand that this person has their own way of doing things approaching things etc.. and they might feel they want to wait for perfect timing and all that, but problem is as an empath, intuitive, their waiting for the perfect time or whatever the hell they are waiting for is wreaking havoc on my spirit, my heart, my body and I do not appreciate that at all.  I know they are not doing this on purpose and they have no way of understanding this really, but the discomfort their pressure build up etc.. and their wanting to be with me so badly, but not moving forward is being felt by me as an empath, intuitive is really annoying the hell out of me.  I am not sure how much longer I want to put with this.  Being an empath intuitive can really be a pain, literally and boy am I seeing that now with this deep connection and my feeling everything they are feeling in their wanting so badly to be with me, to be free of the old life etc…, it’s wow is the best word, along with yikes.  However, as long as they refuse to let me in, or come in, my heart, body, soul will continue to be in havoc throughout the day. Oy!