Peter and Paul are an interesting ones don’t you think? I have always thought so. He is an example of “God love them” followed by a wry smile and a sigh.
Peter leaps right in, just jumps right in, until fear catches him then all of a sudden, yikes, yee gades and teeters right over the edge. Yet, Jesus says, God says, Holy Spirit says through Jesus that upon him the Church would be build and though Hell, Satan would try to destroy it, would not succeed. Peter denies him three times at the most crucial moment that Jesus needs him, the one who received THE Revelation, to stand with him. Fear takes over and he crumbles like a cookie, though when he hears that crowing he repents bitterly. In the end he does take his charge seriously and does what he is supposed to do, but again, it is funny that Jesus chooses the most impulsive of the bunch and the one who is the one who leaps forward with such bravado yet then when fear comes, takes two steps back. Why does Jesus choose him? I think for a few reasons. One the Holy Spirit of God made it clear he was to lead The Church by giving him the revelation. Secondly, God knew that though at that time yeah he leaped and then stepped back was a bit of a mess in that sense with time and maturity he would become more focused and disciplined, would be able to head The Church, same with Paul, another seemingly unlikely choice. He knew that Paul was very focused and very disciplined, maybe too the extreme, but that focus and discipline to achieve anything life were crucial, so if that were channelled towards sharing the faith, the truth of Christ, the truth and the life, then WOW! Peter still had occasions of fear, of needing social approval, being too concerned with the letter of the law, though more about peer approval and all that. However, he did not let fear rule him, he did focus and did what he received from the Holy Spirit to do. God knew, His Holy Spirit knew, thus Jesus then knew that having fear is not ever the problem, but rather what you do with it, and how you let it affect you that is the problem, can be.
If you can take that fear and use it to create something positive that heals society, empowers others to heal society and themselves, great, even heals you in the process, awesome. However, if that fear turns you into a paranoid etc…, bad very bad or if it causes you to become fragmented and run away from life, love and scatter yourself to where you have a lot of busy work, busy activity, lots of acquaintances, and relationships, but no real deep still waters relationship that chills you to the bone, turns you inside out etc.. in good ways every day, or won’t even open yourself to that because of fear, even discourage others from love, not good. We do need to be wise in our choices and as I said previously with prayerfulness, meditation choose always quality never quantity, which includes activity, but that’s different. Though Peter and Paul may not seem likely choices to lead the faith, The Church, grafting of the Tree of Jessee, they actually are very likely choices. Don’t be afraid of fear or anxiety, but don’t let it rule over you or your life, channel it, get a focus on life, use it constructively.