Still With You

I Am Still With You

As I watched the Capitol 4th Celebration on TV and they mentioned 9/11, I thought of the dreams I had had that week about people jumping out of buildings, buildings on fire, funerals, crazy dreams that made no sense at the time and that morning just before the alarm was set to ring, shortly before I had a dream with my Nanna, dad’s mom telling me, go back to sleep, stay in bed, it’s not your time to go.  I didn’t understand, but my gut said, listen to Nanna.  When the alarm rang and mom came to wake me up at 8:15 or so I said no, Nanna said to stay in bed, not time to go and I refused to go to the appointment. Well if II had I would have been in the Towers. 

Was it my Nanna? Was it God sending an angel in my dreams taking shape as Nanna so I would listen and not go that day? The theology really of it didn’t matter, still really doesn’t matter.  What did and does is that God was with me, felt I needed to be here, had something to do with my life, now granted fibromyalgia hit and hit hard, and I have had a winding journey to get to the understanding that I love inspiring and coaching whether directly or through the arts, but still.  It also as I remembered this and my dad, different people, realized they never leave us, their memory, even if there was family turmoil and they were not in our lives long, they never leave us.  I didn’t see Nanna after I was 10 years old, and my dad I was ten when I last saw him alive and then saw him again in a casket.  People may not be with us physically, but they don’t ever leave us, what they said, taught us, memories created, all of that crops up at times, depending. We are shaped by those in our lives, our interactions etc…I need to take a look at that for myself, my own life.

There is someone else who is always with us, the one who created us, He, the Word Made Flesh, and the Spirit of Counsel, and as I re-learn about our nation, it’s birth, different events that gave birth to us, to the USA, I know that to be true.  Never forget we are never alone, though people may forsake us, the Trinity and Heavenly hosts do not.  Amen


An Exchange Reinforces The Vision

Peaceful Retreat

Life will give you answers, the sun will show itself.  If you recall in past posts I have spoken about dreams with recurring themes and I also have had a sense of relationship, how I felt my companion and I would come together, how that would develop .  I wondered about that, what was coming up in the meditation. This past week, life has given me some indications 

To begin with someone started following me on instagram and we have started chatting, he even sent a photo of him and  his mom.  The way this is developing with each being a cheerleader for the other in their work, in general, building from a friendship perspective, sharing family photos, having open discussion, very organically, naturally about issues of the day.  I can feel an easy flow of energy back and forth, which is nice.  Should this continue to flow and move along as it is now, awesome.  Then there is the coaching thing, what will I specialize in? I went to see my gastro doc and as he was speaking about how he likes to listen to the patient, look at the whole picture, not just give a pill and send them on their way, when I told him I was studying coaching,  The conversation and my own interests made me really lean towards wellness coaching. Next thing, the dreams regarding my spiritual life.  As I am not thrilled with the hostility towards those of us who are Traditionalists, Conservatives Socially, Politically, who love the Latin Mass, things like that, the confusion this Pope has sown, and who perhaps for some some reason, and for reasons I have spoken of before possibly contributing, I have detached from the church.  This new connection I have made that flows so easily, is Roman Catholic, so seems I keep being brought home to my roots, God keep trying to bring me home to my roots.  I have a few things now to reflect on, to ponder and I am continuing to work on new material for the Jam on the 27th, so hope to see some of you there! 


Why Hasn’t My Meditation, Prayer Worked?

Photo 2015-11-14 at 23.00

I have been creating meditations for myself for the longest time, affirmations etc.., but so far, not really yielded the results I would have hoped, so what gives? 

I am studying Coaching and the first course is How to Coach Yourself, so one of the assignments is a meditation and as I looked at it and recorded it, it dawned on me.  I was setting an agenda, but not really asking questions to determine what the agenda should be, what my life’s purpose truly was as per the Lord’s anointing and what parallel to that was in my heart, spirit and soul, for long term fulfillment and joy.  The meditation given to us asks questions, asks us to reflect on these questions, find the answers deep within, the authentic and true answers, ask divine guidance as per our faith.  The other thing is that I always do the meditation in first person, so I am going to record it in second person and listen to it, see how that works out. The journey to authentic self for me has to tie into my core anchor, Christ, not religion per se, but Christ.  That’s important, but the life I live, where I live, so many aspects of getting a destination of the painting has been painted, fully painted, that is where this meditation comes in.  

Make Right Choice.jpg

It is in the silence that I must go, in that silence I will find the answers.  Silence, total silence is not always a comfort for us, it scares us, to be totally alone with ourselves because what will we find in our hearts, spirits and souls, in that depth will the heavens speak to us. 

Shalom and Amen

Beauty of Connecting


This morning as I meditated I experienced a beautiful vision of an ocean and waves, foam, small boats, swirling clouds, it was awesome.  I thought afterwards about what I wanted to see happen with my life, what would I want to have my life be if I had to summarize it.  In a sense, this captures it. 

Build an empire, not really looking to be the next Oprah or Bill Gates, but if I can leave a great legacy for future generations of true Conservatism, as the founding fathers meant it to be, of Republicanism as they meant it to be, of solid faith, spiritual grounding, a legacy of meaning I will be very happy. Earning my daily bread doing what I love the artistic, the coaching, I will be double, triple happy.  Finding myself, that’s been a long journey, but I am in my heart of heart a Conservative, and Christian, Metaphysical in my view of things to an extent, but firmly Conservative and Christian. Healing and Loving myself, part of that means really reconciling with my past, those closest to me who hurt me, tore my life apart, turned it upside down, even if they have passed on.  I don’t think I have fully done that, not at the deepest levels, but I will.  Getting fit, that is a process that will take time as I work through the healing, loving to help heal some of the physical, fibormyalgia might ease up a bit.  Hopefully I can get even more passionate about my artistic work, as the energy drain from the fibro is rough, so I am hoping to find ways to ease that with meditation and other not too strenuous techniques of stretching.  I will use my love of country, of God and Country, to get involved locally with restoring the Republic, working with the NYGOP, NY Patriots Group, hopefully make a difference.  I am apparently having an impact on youth in the Middle East and Asia, as on twitter I am having lots of artists, soccer teams, players, activists against sharia, child marriage and all that following me, so I seem to have struck a cord there. It’s an interesting development in my life  It’s life Forrest Gump says “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know hat you’re gonna get”  I hope to make new friendships as I get active in preserving the republic, moving forward with really reconciling with my past, even things I wish I had done differently and may life take to me a place where I leave behind in this life a great legacy for all. 


Do I Take the Literally or Metaphorically?


As we come to another Father’s Day and I am brought back to my dad, my childhood, a not so pleasant correlation of dad and goodbye, which left a permanent scar.  Last night, when I got back from having a nice evening with my cousin, who keeps that link alive for me, I was also when we passed by the church went in with the lights dimmed, the quiet of it reminded of my dreams, the ones I spoke about, and whether I should return to the Catholic faith, what were the dreams all about, something started to dawn on me.  There are important words, even in the study of scripture, of any faith tradition, in any reading of any significant undertaking.  They are literal, symbolic, metaphorical, and also discernment, in terms of which is it?  Now what? 

I thought about my spiritual songwriting, when I had discerned stuff about what I did need to do and when I felt closest to God.  I also thought about what the main feel, texture and theme of the dream was, or the main ones were? I also thought of when did I feel most in touch with God, Christ, Holy Spirit, when did even scripture discernment come, even to more deeply understand the juncture of Bible and Constitution?  The main theme/s, feel I would have to say, quiet internal contemplative, in the backdrop of sacred chant.  The sense of peaceful contemplative was so beautiful, wasn’t a religious feel per se, but I felt very close to the Heavens.   I thought of Psalm 23, the Book of Ben Sira, Jesus peaceful and also strong as they came to get him to bring him to his death. These were what resonated with me in these dreams.  Then I thought about the times I most felt scripture spoke to me, and the universe around me spoke to me as an artist, and either very spontaneous, I never plan my writing, or when I was sitting somewhere on the weekend or even during the week with my mini digital recorder listening to meditative contemplative music.  I realized that meditation is along with writing my form of prayers, of discerning, understanding the Bible, scripture, life.  I need to cultivate a more disciplined meditative, contemplative prayer and study path for myself, even if it’s Zen meditation, learning that form of meditation, praying, conversing with God, Christ for the Holy Spirit to help me write material and provide services that will truly impact lives to the max.  The other thing I realized I need to get back that fibromyalgia stole from free has stolen from me in life is community. I want a community that is really going to bring me a sense of peace, of really bringing out the utmost creativity, potential for me to give back to society and make sure that God can see I have not wasted my gifts, talents.   I do believe we each have a purpose and an anointing even when it comes to how to serve others in our humanity, and for me I do feel it is the artistic and in providing some slightly tough love motivational, life coaching.  I will keep you posted on this journey,

Amen and God Bless.

To all the great Dads out there God Bless!

Is it Really Love and Compassion?

Sin Costs You

Sin is missing the mark, that’s what it is.  There are boundaries, lines one should not cross etc… and when they are crossed, and destruction comes to a person, to society, when that crossing of lines, boundaries, morally, ethically etc.. brings pain, heartache, destruction etc… the mark has been missed, sin has occurred.  We can even do wrong for the “right” reasons.  In Ireland they passed a vote in favor of Gay Marriage, now Abortion, they did it out of “compassion” and “social justice”, in their mind, the mind of those who apparently were devout, knew the teachings, devout church going Catholics, were doing the right thing because it was showing compassion, social justice.  Oye!

As a parent one has to make tough decision, same goes if you have elderly parents.  They don’t always like it when you get tough for their own good, but you have to, for their own good.  If a child or a teen decide they want to engage in actions, behaviors that are destructive, or self destructive, even on the surface, even if we think they might be, would we just sit back and let them engage in those activities, actions?  If a teen decides, I lost my favorite parent, time to exit this world stage left, or an older parent, grandparent decides they are tired of the doctors, pills, that portable oxygen tank, time to chuck it all in and be in peace, they tell us they plan on exiting tonight, have it all planned.  Do we decide that the compassionate thing to do is let them do it, because well don’t want them to be sad or inconvenienced etc.., so okay, let me be compassionate and let you exit stage left? Don’t think so.  If I see you running into the street in the middle of a bunch of cars do I just let you do that because well you are so distraught about how your life is going right now, do yeah let me be compassionate and let you end the pain by running head long into the cars, splat. Seriously do I?

Sin is the same thing.  If one is truly a person of deep faith, os scriptural truth, then standing back and being “compassionate”, letting people move in patterns of spiritual self destruct, in that modality is not compassion.  Staying silent, supporting the life of sin is not compassion, it’s being complicit in the destruction of the soul of another.  How is that compassion?  How is that love?  Those who turn a blind eye, who vote to legalize sin etc.. are not being compassionate, and are not being true to scripture, are not at all showing courage to stand with Christ.  What does he say about that?  He says those who deny him he will deny, when they say we did this in your name, he will reject them as vipers.  He doesn’t want just a show on Sunday, he wants a show of courage every day, standing up for scriptural truth, moral truth, and even to recognize when someone has made a turn around, and has embraced him and is now a new creature in Christ.  Is it a lot to ask, may seem so, but with prayer and meditation, assistance of the heavenly hosts, Holy Spirit, not really. It’s not too hard, not really.



Ask and Ye Shall Receive, OK


Many of the things that have occurred with friend, family I have foreseen in my dreams, even stuff with my own life.  I have asked always the Creator of our amazing universe etc.. to lead me home spiritually, to show me where I am to be, and I admit I have a strong rebellious streak, so I am not always the most cooperative daughter when the Lord communicates.  I have been resistant to the Roman Catholic Church, think mainly as I said as a rejection of my childhood roots in a way, I have had this love-hate relationship not with the Holy Trinity etc.., but the Church, the bureaucracy, and because it is the faith of my family, and that relationship has always been rocky on all sides.  What do do?

I could Just go the Protestant route right or spiritual, not religious, right. I have tried that, done that. Here’s the thing, when I meditate and ask for the truth, truth of scripture, of where God’s true home is, I keep having dreams of being in a Roman Catholic Cathedral being blessed and cleansed with incense.  I have been fighting even in these dreams that no, I don’t do religion, bureaucracy all that jazz, that I have areal issues with this liberal progressive nutty Pope, so thanks but no thanks. The dreams keep on coming, so I have to decide with my receiving songs, poetry as I have through spur of the moment intuitive almost trance like moments, in the moment instincts that have been spot on, dreams foreseeing stuff in regards to my family, friends, myself, do I ignore these dreams, continue to stay away from the faith, the Roman Catholic Church, or do I stop rebelling, listen to message I keep getting? I believe in the bio ethics, pro life etc.. teachings not because I have to, because it’s my family’s faith, since a number of them are liberal, don’t honor the doctrines and true teachings, but because they are a beautiful truth of faith and reason that resonate.  I love Gregorian Chant Music, and when they have the Latin Mass, I find it absolutely beautiful.  I have a choice to make, keep rebelling, or surrender to the Holy Spirit, what I am being guided to, hmmm what will I do?  I will continue meditating, contemplating and perhaps say a rosary or two, attend Mass this week, or a Legion of Mary meeting with Rosary said during, see how that feels, that goes.  We shall see how I navigate this, we shall see.

Shalom and Amen

Why This Matters

While I am not overly religious, though I do believe the study of Scripture, of the Bible as well as metaphysics from a philosophy and science viewpoint have a lot to teach, offer and I do accept Christ as the Messiah within my faith paradigm.  This matters because of the privilege of living in a Constitutional Democratic Republic with a Bill of Rights which included intertwined Freedom of Speech, Assembly and Religion.  Notice very carefully it does not say Freedom of Worship.  This matters, the semantics here matter, but why?  Freedom of Worship would have meant only freedom to worship within the walls of one’s church, temple etc…Freedom of Religion mans printing religious material, expressing in private and public the tenets of my faith, it’s a broader Constitutional right.  Our Founders were also clear that the government could not establish a government church the way England has done.  Within the Freedom of Religion, one still has to adhere to zoning and other laws, but what this protects is the broader right of conscience, so that no one is forced to violate their true religious conscience.  If one went into a business that was run by atheist and demanded services that were better suited to the Christian run business down the street or three blocks over, that atheist business owner has the right by his conscience to say, this Easter Display is not something we are comfortable doing, but the guy three blocks down, great guy, tell him I sent you, and to give you a good price.  Guess what the Constitution protects his right to do so so.  Some will interpret this to mean you should be a spiteful brat, or worse and just refuse service outright to anyone who is not of your faith etc…, NOOOOOOO, not the ethical thing to do, nor the right thing.  You have to be discerning, so is it right for Church of Satan to want to have a Mass on sacred Christian ground or in a Catholic venue, NO, that is not religious freedom, that’s just spite.  However, with this ruling, the venue, Christian venue has every right to say, NO, this is in violation of our faith principles, and we do not give a permit for this.  Atheist, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist have the right to say, I am not comfortable doing this job, taking on this project etc…and we have to respect that.  That is what living in a Constitutional Republic is about.

Amazing Grace – My Rendition

soaring eagle

It’s officially Memorial Day and to those who give of themselves, their life etc.. for liberty thank you.  This song I think is one of my favorites, and so with an improv tune and a thank you, as well as remembering my dad who served and was wounded, I give you Amazing Grace.  I will leave my sharing of my poem about faith and freedom for Independence Day, the one I wrote.


Anti Christ, False Prophet Oh MY!

Confused Face

I have been having an interesting exchange on twitter with a man who tweeted me that Trump was the Biblical Anti-Christ and I have been trying to clarify for him that that does not add up.  This is one of the problem with getting into these end time prophecies and getting all caught up in when is Christ coming back who is the anti-Christ etc.. you start seeing anti Christ everywhere. Even Obama and Hillary I was told were the anti-Christ.  Problem is they don’t fit the criteria.  I don’t know what Bible they are reading, but even Christians I have had to say to them, no you are way off base.  I may not agree with liberal progressive views and policy all that, but that has nothing to do with right theology.   What of the anti Christ and the False Prophet.

The False Prophet.  If one traces their origin not to the Reformation or any pastor or church founded in the last 50 or 100 years, but through the Catholic Church and Apostolic Succession and back to the Apostles, then the False Prophet is a Pope influenced by forces not of God or one as close to him as possible that is influenced by dark forces to lead the Pope who leads the Church and thus in uniting with the Anti-Christ the world into a royal catastrophe though sin given a pass almost, which would lead the world into a royal mess, all in the name of Social Justice and all that crap.  With the pressure on churches to force God to confirm to their whims, not hard to see that happening and thus the Vicar of Christ becoming a false Prophet and since the Vatican also does a lot of diplomatic and humanitarian work with nations, this could happen.  That leads us to the Anti-Christ.  There is so much speculation on who he is etc.., so let’s clarify, here is his profile and resume, bible vetted.

He will come from the Tribe of Dan.

He will be born in the Middle East. – He may be Arab Jew, that is my own instinct, very strong one

His mother will be a harlot possessed by the devil.

He will be conceived by a man, not by the devil.

He will be possessed by the devil like his mother.

He will be familiar with all the magical arts.

He will be a wonder child, endowed with great intelligence and memory.

He will be assisted by the devil throughout his life.

He will be utterly wicked.

He will claim to be the true Son of God the Messiah.

The Jews will accept him as such.

He will be made King of the Jewish Nation.

He will re-build Jerusalem and make it a magnificent city.

Jerusalem will be the capital of the world.

He will not be an atheist; he will believe in God.

He will re-build the Temple of Jerusalem. – It may not be in the grand scale it was in biblical times, that would take a long time and lots of money, but maybe a smaller scale model of it

He will sit in the Temple to be adored as God.

He will conquer the whole world. -This could mean literal or it could mean he is so charismatic he is made head of a new world government created via the UN or something like that

Those who accept him will bear his mark, or sign.

One-third of the conquered peoples will refuse to obey him.

He will persecute and he will torture them with every refinement of cruelty, and he will make sure that they do not die so that the tortures may be prolonged.

But God will not forsake the Faithful.

Some nations will be spared the persecution of Antichrist.

He will rule the world for three and a half years.

He will work great wonders and deceive many.

He will be opposed by Henoch and Elias.

He will put to death Henoch and Elias.

Henoch and Elias will come to life again on the third day, and ascend into Heaven. He will say that they are sorcerers and that he can bring them back to earth.

He will rise in the air by his magical powers, but will be almost immediately struck down by Saint Michael, and killed.

The Jews will finally accept Christ as the Messiah.

Some time will be given to the human race to do Penance before the Last Judgment.

Now that we have a profile, can we stop with pointing fingers at US  born Presidents etc.. or European born ones, even ones born on the African continent.  Thank You.  As for when Jesus returns, for goodness sakes he said he didn’t even know, only God the Father knows, He’s keeping it a closely guarded secret, so live life as sin free as you can asking for help from the Holy Trinity, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, all the Angles and Saints of God, every morning and before you go to bed.  Let God take care of the end days stuff!!