Instant Affinity, Now What?

Holy Ghost

You meet and there is this instant affinity, anointing almost, might not be flashy, balls of fire, it might be like a beautiful spiritual breeze and descending dove that comes upon you.  It might be something where you instantly click, flow, communicate etc.. and it feels like home, they feel like home.  If you are a sensitive you might sense they have that same affinity, same magnetic pull in your direction.  What’s the problem? Why not just assume everything will move at lightening speed and their heart, spirit soul will open up, they will acknowledge this to themselves, to you etc…? Well because it may not happen that way and it may not be that easy.

We have seven levels of consciousness according to metaphysical teaching and if you also look at catholic saints and their mystical experiences you see that we have layers of consciousness.  What does that mean?  It means just that, depth and layers.  For feelings and acknowledging them, well it can be tricky.  Feelings begin at a subconscious and psychic conscious level and work their way up to the conscious.  For some that happens very quickly, nothing blocks it and they have such an openness with the divine, with their own feelings, and the spiritual on every level that they are able to immediately have the subconscious feelings go to the conscious acknowledge them and constructively bring them out into the open.  Others, it is a lot harder to do that due to lack of trust in themselves, in others, in life etc.. due to negative experiences.  If they have had a life pattern of negative experiences, then they will have closed their heart, spirit and soul, not want to love or be loved, even if they do want that, yearn for it.  When they do start to have any deep emotions of friendship, of connection of anything with anyone on a subconscious and psychic level, their immediate instinct might be to block it, resist it, get all intellectual about it etc.., anything rather than face it, embrace it, express it to the other person, act on it.  That terrifies them, confronting anything emotional terrifies them because it might bring pain as far as they’re concerned.

What do you do when you know there is something there, underneath the surface, but they do not have the courage to express it, to speak up, to share etc…? Keep being you, keep connecting, pray, meditate,  hope that any walls that have been put up due to fear will come down and what is in the subconscious, those deeper hidden levels will surface, be acknowledged, fully embraced, fully expressed etc…If at some point you feel you have to let go and in terms of your heart move on, you do so.


Easy Flow Can Be Quite Exciting

Baptism of Fire

There is this assumption that for something to be “it”, a relationship, anything, it has to come like a blazing fire or with bells and whistles, but I am realizing that is not true.

That which God has anointed, which speaks most true to my spirit is turning out to have come in a manner that is like a stream of water that flows very naturally.  It is something I find I am able to flow with very easily, naturally.  Sharing, being me comes very naturally in this particular role and with a particular person, which is very beautiful.  Society and the media in particular has given this impression in the past that if a project, a vocation, a relationship, a friendship wasn’t begun with some kind of major “wham, bam” then forget it.  a true vocation, anointed project, even soulmate whether friendship or romantic life partner is not about “wham bam”.  It is about much more than that.  When something is meant to last long term it is something that flows, that you feel in sync with, you feel supported by and you also extend that.  There is a sense that you are not only nurturing the project, or relationship, but you are somehow being nurtured, inspired etc.. by it.  You can see yourself connected to that project, that friendship, that relationship even 50 years from now, even 100 years from now in some fashion. You want to nurture it, see it grow, find ways to have it grow and don’t feel it will be a major effort because there is common ground.  You find you can communicate when it comes to a project with those involved in the project very easily because those involved see you as an integral part of the project and vice versa.  If a relationship you see each other as equal parts of the whole, so you feel very comfortable communicating.   You also feel comfortable exchanging ideas, even in a project situation you feel that way when it is truly an anointed project.    There is a sense of willingness to compromise, to find a middle ground for the greater good of the organization, project, the relationship.   There is flow.  There is also honesty about how you view things etc.., not in a mean way, but honesty out of caring.  The persons involved in the project etc.. or the person in the relationship, they understand and feel they can also do the same.   You understand if they share something they are doing it out of caring, even if you don’t agree at all.  There is where the compromise comes in.  If it is a romantic relationship, or friendship, even one that has potential to go beyond friendship, this all applies. As for supporting each the other person’s dreams,  even a friend’s, well yeah, but also we should be honest and make sure they streamline their dreams, lives, so as to not burn out, that they don’t have a fragmented and cluttered life, end up in circles to nowhere.  That is an important part of caring, but how we present that is also important.   That also has to be kept in mind.

We have been fed this notion of what relationship, vocation is supposed to look like, supposed to be like feel like, “immediate wow, explosion wham bam city”.  Well no, lasting life long amazing stuff does not necessarily feel immediately like that, it may feel like the sweetest most sublime hot air balloon ride in the sky, can soar like an eagle kind of thing.  Remember that.

Close Collaboration Possessiveness?

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

Some of us want partnership, collaborative, cooperative, synergy, intertwining for very good reasons.  However, that and speaking, sharing from the heart openly, freely and whenever free flowing is misinterpreted. 

I create strictly according to in the moment, at that moment Holy Spirit given and inspired material.  I don’t force anything, set time specifically aside to write songs or music or even my meditations.  I write and record things as they come on the spot when they come on the spot more often than not,  in terms of my own stuff.   However, I also have a strong sense of wanting to closely collaborate with others day to day, find those who will value my skill set as an artist and so much more.  Who will value that I wear my heart on my sleeve, will pry their own heart open, see wearing heart on the sleeve not as an evil thing, see my sharing what I think and feel for the greater good of the project, the relationship etc.. as a good thing, not an evil thing, or a possessiveness thing.  It doesn’t matter if it is professional or personal, to me there has to be communication, free flowing, open and from the heart, heart on the sleeve.  There has to be connection, cooperation, collaboration, really working as a team or nothing will work.  I don’t want to do lone ranger only and so when I make any kind of really positive, great connection I see no reason not to reach out, share, heart on my sleeve, be totally open with my ideas etc…, intertwine socially as well.  Why not?  It seems others don’t always take well to this, and view it as possessive, as perhaps I might have ulterior motives and withdraw, suddenly withdraw.  I know I am simply sharing, caring, reaching out and being authentic to myself in doing so, in seeking integrated collaboration etc…, but others don’t seem to always see it that way. Hmmm

I could stop being me, feel awful about being me, never reach out again, give up on ever finding solid partnerships to engage in creatively or otherwise, ones that are bold courageous, heart on the sleeve etc… I could do all of that, feel sad, depressed about it all, but that would mean life and the world would be deprived of my works, of what I could achieve and that is not an option.  If others choose to let their fears, paranoia etc… get in the way and withdraw, or walk away, okay, up to them, but I have to keep being me, reaching out, speaking from the heart so on so forth.


Who Says Virtual Friends Not Family?

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

Please Support This Blog. You May Do So Via PayPalL

Recent events, threw me for such a loop, still can’t quite fathom what happened.  I am certain neither I or the third party involved did anything suspect etc…

It is funny how I still find myself going WTH? Not only that, but as I look at three or four friendships, three of them distinctly virtual with people I met via a FB group whom I have not yet met in person, and one with someone whom I met when they were working here in the USA before going going back home to Europe I am taken aback.  These virtual people who I share so much with and who share much with me, there is no sense of being territorial about stuff.  I have shared so much of my hopes, dreams, plans, pretty much everything with them, and they have done the same.  We are pretty much an open book with each other and even shared dreams, so we can help each other interpret them.  There was such an openness about our lives, feelings about what was going on in our lives, including the rough patches.   When one has a success the other is truly happy for them, never thinks in terms of territorial, or has a notion of being territorial.   It’s a beautiful thing and I can only imagine if I liked in Europe how close we would all be, how we would work as a team, lift each other to great heights with our gifts, talents.  It would be awesome, or if they were all here and the support we would give each other through thick and thin, through sunshine and rain would be invaluable.  Friendship and family is not limited or determined by physical space, but rather by what is shared mutually, how you treat each other mutually, and so much more.  I am very clear in not accepting any friend request from anyone unless they are mutual friends of a FB friend I know well.  These people I count as my friends and family, we have shared so much, share so much of ourselves, and though we are up front with each other about what we think etc… we are open of heart, spirit and soul with each other.  We are friends and family, there to encourage, inspire, to give tough love as necessary, all of that, and yes we are in each other’s business, but because we care and we trust, so we share what is going on and seek each other’s input, guidance etc.., a beautiful thing.  It’s what family does, what friends do, what they are about, and like I said if we were close by we would likely share great times together.  I am grateful for these wonderful people with whom I am an open book pretty much and who share themselves, their lives, hopes, dreams, frustrations with me.   We are there for each other and in each other’s business through thick and thin.


Why A Strong Connection To That Someone?

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.


I have been trying to understand why I have  strong connection to a particular person, an artist whom I don’t interact with on a day to day basis, but from the moment we met at an event where he sang, there was this deep psychic connection.

Last night I had a dream in regards to him and another artist I also have connected to strongly on a psychic level, talented lady.  I see her on a more regular basis.  I wondered why this connection why so strong.  Chemistry is one of course, common worldview, culture, faith all that stuff, on a psychic level was picked up by me and him immediately and an ethereal cord was formed.  After dealing with different people, including what I am now calling butterflies that flutter here and there and everywhere, collect a million people to their “know you” list etc… I realize what also draws me to this person and them to me.  Focus, a sense of focus, which I think for both of us is very important.  Though I did have a bit of a maze in terms of my vocational path, the one thing that was always consistent was the music, poetry, the artistic side path, that as I suppose subconsciously the ultimate goal, to be the inspirational artist/coach.  I also realize that the other common ground is that both of us realize, myself perhaps realizing it a bit later than I should have, the importance of streamlining, of having a particular outlet and venue you consistently work, even create for yourself, with to achieve your goals, not be like a butterfly, fluttering everywhere or flirting with everything and not focused on anything.  This person has worked with the same venue for longevity and that says a lot about their ethics as an artist, not to say they have not made changes, as change is part of life, and hopefully in order to grow artistically if they do have to make further changes they will do so even if that does mean leaving things behind, and do so constructively, that including forming new creative partnerships.  However, they are consistent and focused in their work, the venues they work with etc…, they are not farfalle whose wings flutter all over the place.  That’s to me an important quality in a person I think.  Doesn’t mean the person is boring because you can be stable and yet not be boring, don’t need to be a butterfly to be interesting, or for life to be interesting.  

I think that focus, streamlining, not wanting a cluttered life is what creates this psychic cord that is strong and will likely be strong for a very long time.  Will we ever come to artistic collaboration?  I hope so, as it would really be I think with the chemistry we have a potentially awesome thing.  God will see to it at the right time, right venue etc…, but it is up to them to reach out, rather to reach out back when they are ready to do so for collaboration.    There are others that I also have common ground with but there is not that psychic connection with and I wondered why and it likely is because they are like farfalle, butterflies.  When one is like a butterfly whose wings just brush the surface here, there and everywhere, no deep connection to people, someone like me, can’t make a deep intuitive connection, not readily, not easily.  For the deep psychic connection I have made the future will tell as to what creative collaborations occur and how they unfold.  Until then I will continue with my projects and plans, seeking to inspire etc… 


Sometimes Alone Just Happens, Is

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.


There are moments when you look at life, your life and certain things stare you in the face.  They leap out at you, like it or not.

You see all the times you have reached out, especially when as an intuitive, empath you felt a strong connection to others, have done so with arms wide open, sincere heart of friendship offered.  You also see that at the end of it all you stand alone like that lone beacon, that lone distant lighthouse and though it is not the way you would want to practice your artistic craft, life your artistic, creative life etc…, it seems that is what life holds for you.  What do you do when you find that happening, when after having reached out in life over and over again, heart on your sleeve artistically and in friendship you find yourself a lone lighthouse?  You might find a twinge of sadness present, and that’s okay and you might think about putting up lots of walls and never connecting to anyone again, natural to think that, but for an artist, that would mean lots of potential inspiration lost.   What do you do?  You work on projects that are solo acts, you join artistic groups on meet up maybe and work on projects, you work on your own stuff with love and gusto, you yourself open to connecting to really good people, great people, even if when you  reach out, seek to build a friendship and collaborative creative awesome all you find is empty space at the other end or lots of rhetoric and no action.  You just keep working on your craft and don’t put a whole lot of expectations into other people ahead of time, or when you reach out.

Some might wonder if I regret that I wear my heart on my sleeves, that I reach out? I have to say my feelings are mixed and the answer is yes and no.  I find it natural that if I make a connection on a creative level or a psychic consciousness level I would reach out and build on that immediately, seek to know that person better, seek to bring them into my day to day activity socially etc…  I don’t regret that I have that viewpoint, don’t regret that.  I suppose what I regret is the disappointment of the other person not seeing the potential I see for the connection and for it not being mutually pursued, nurtured etc..  My regret is that the other person doesn’t see the enormous potential, which is where the frustration and sadness comes for me.  I realize that all I can do is be me, and being me means being a spitfire, a ball of fire, tenacious and passionate about my artistic works and ideas etc.., about wanting to nurture connections I feel have great potential.  Though the past few days I have to say I am starting to think that perhaps I should not be so tenacious and that I should leave things be, let go and accept being that lone lighthouse on the hill and focus on shinning my light as brightly as I can to the world, that lone star in the dark of night, that lone lighthouse on the hill.  Not the way I would like it to be, but you can only reach out so much and so many times in life before you get tired of reaching out.  I may have reached that very point, that point of tired of reaching out as an artist, in friendship and nothing reaching back, just empty space.


No Interest In Solo Artist



As I look at where I will put my focus, one of them being the Alpha group at St Patrick’s Basilica, and rediscovering my roots, determined to focus on the artistic, I find myself also realizing a few things.

  • I have no problem with alone time and never want to be busy for busy sake or to run away from loneliness or life etc..
  • I love being an artistic and spiritual person, as well as a Classic Liberal Conservative and general Conservative in the truest Classical sense

I also realize the following:

  • I very much prefer it if I make my artistic path in collaboration with others, not as a solo artist or performance poet etc..
  • I love hosting and doing MC kind of stuff, lots of fun and it comes very naturally, as does speaking Italian
  • I do wear my heart on my sleeve and I like it that way do everyone, suck it up
  • Being an intuitive also means lots of frustration and disappointment because you see a range of potential in people, connections etc.. on so many levels that they don’t see or fear embracing and run from.  If you are one who doesn’t run from those connections etc. but to them, seeks to explore the creative etc… potential fully no wasting time etc..just jump right in, then you can end up with sadness, frustration and disappointment.  Others may not jump right in with things and need more time etc..
  • Being an intuitive, I have to learn to live with that, which is not easy
  • At some point and I have to know when that point is, I do have to walk away no matter how much potential I might see in a situation or a connection when there is nothing active and proactive except on one end of things

Namaste, Shalom and Amen