Only People Mad at You.jpg

It’s easy to live a lie, for any one of us to be determined to not see or hear truth.  The truth, even prophetic, word of knowledge, strongly intuitive, connect the dots, all these truths should be embraced for guidance, should be, but are often not.  Why not? 

We have dreams, illusions and all that jazz going on, so when someone comes at us with any truth that we feel sabotages that, messes with that, we don’t want to hear it, not from the Holy Spirit, not from others.  An article I came across spoke on this subject and pointed out  that besides the defense mechanisms employed with frightening regularity, we have grown into a culture that, despite proclaiming a desire for the truth, would actually prefer to be lied to.  Say what, we want to be lied to?  Think about it, now schools want everyone to feel special so even effort awards are given, all kinds of stuff like this.  The problem the article points out is two fold the problem is twofold: first, as a culture we’ve come to expect to be spared our feelings at the cost of the truth, to be lied to. Second, defense mechanisms and other aspects of perception work to keep the individual in an illusion which is intended to be better than reality.  We tell people white lies all the time to make them feel better, even to ourselves fighting against the path anointed to us, determined to go the path we want at all cost.  We talk about keeping it real, or even receiving divine guidance, inspiration, but many of us might prefer the illusion rather than the reality of things. 

What happens when a friend won’t feed any of that and will give the truth on any level as they see it, are given in word of knowledge for you, any of that?  The person has to be honest enough to say it as is, especially with big picture stuff.  If they are all excited about a certain event, the dress they chose, or ask about weight, well you may have to be a bit diplomatic.  In general if you are going to be a true parent, spouse even friend, you need to be willing to share these types of truths, not in a yelling screaming way, but straight forward as you can.  If the other person is unwilling to embrace that, you may find a cold and frozen wall in front of you.  That’s okay, just keep praying and keep speaking these truths, as certain things go of course be sure you have the factual info.  If you find you feel you always have to say what the other wants to hear, can’t be honest, truthful with that person, well you may have to accept a walking away.  At some point they will realize the truth is preferable to mere illusion.  That is not to say you don’t encourage a person’s gifts etc… but always do so in a way that is of truth, be at peace with that.

Shalom and Amen

Honesty or Friendship?

Northern Lights II

“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones.”  

I came across this quote and it struck a cord.  As someone who frequently gets what is referred to as “word of knowledge”, flashes of intuition and all that, when a friend asks me about anything I often find myself in a pickle.  I could tell people, even my kinfolk, what they want to hear, and keep the peace with all the world.  I could do that.  Do I want to do that?  Will I be at peace with myself if I do that? Hmm, No.  That means I say what is firmly in my heart spirit and soul, what I understand to be true and what I am given in Word of Knowledge and intuitive flash when asked.  It won’t always go over well, heck it may not go over well as all.  Friends tell you unpleasant truths, truths you don’t want to hear, but need to hear.  The delivery is important to an extent, but sugar coating things too much is not helpful.  If you are honest and tell it as it is, you may not have a whole bunch of friends, but that’s okay because those that know you, are meant to stick around will do so and appreciate your honesty, the sacred wisdom, inspiration shared all of that.  If you have gifts of the Spirit, of intuition then just be you and those who stick around great, those who don’t well keep them always in your prayers. 


Laid Back Thanksgiving Menu

laid back thanksgiving



Tomorrow I will give another full menu and you can substitute chicken or ham if your family prefers



What is Love?


This is a question that has been asked throughout time and history.  It is not one would think an easy one to answer.  We humans often complicate things when things are not complicated, and I came across this quote that I thought was a pretty good explanation.

“Love is friendship that has caught fire.  It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving.  It is loyalty through good and bad times.  It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness”

How often have you said or heard the phrase “the perfect man/woman, or job, career”  Look for that and you are going to end up very disappointed.  Life has no perfections, but it does have works in progress, hopefully that’s all of us wonderful works in progress.  Does that mean you have profound connection have and attraction at first sight, or that settles means you put up with abuse in any form, chronic cheating and such crap?  No, of course not.  The basis for a solid relationship is friendship, so if you have that as the basis, a heartfelt understanding of where the other is at in their life, where they want to go with their life, mutually support each other, realize that we all have flaws, all, for all fall short of the glory of God, which could lead once we are truly ready, to something awesome, the perfect person for each of us, not a perfect person, but guided by the Holy Spirit, uniting with the one perfect for us and us for them.  It might happen early in life, or later, the when is not crucial, it’s being prepared to fully understand and live this understanding of love.  My prayers are not for the perfect anything, but the stuff perfect for me, and I for it, that includes artistic collaborations etc… May i have the blessing, fortune and wisdom to allow this into my life. 





Chivalry and Gallantry, Duh, Good Thing!


The beauty of a well tended and cared for garden, lovely isn’t it?  The garden did not get this way on its’ own.  Feminism, modern feminism fails to understand that relationships are all about gardening, not about winning, not about what they think it is.  What does this have to do with chivalry and all that? Plenty.

Women decided they didn’t want to care for or be cared for, that it was sexist, a sign of times of enslavement to the male species to have a man truly care for and take care of them and I don’t mean in an unhealthy dependency way.   It’s akin to a garden where both parties are the gardeners and as they tend to each other with great care, with great integrity, ethics, chivalry and all that jazz, the garden produces beautiful fruits, flowers, a beautiful place for peace, so much joy.  This also includes any long term work relationship and friendship.  If you are going to have a long term working relationship or friendship, then both parties need to be in a place where they recognize the beauty of the compliment of male and female as created by God, celebrate those compliment and synergy differences, not hate on them, try to destroy and eradicate them, not try to redefine sexuality.  When a man brings up an event, the courteous thing is you take her, you pick her up, take her home, especially if it is out of her immediate living area, like another county, don’t have her take buses and trains and all that.  The lady may say no thanks, which I don’t see why she would, but at lease the chivalry was extended.  Opening doors, holding doors, including car doors, so many little things that are not done and part of it is the “women’s movement” crazy notion that if you let a man do all this stuff and if you have a man take care of you in any way, worry about you are setting women’s lib back or some other stupidity.  Women also need to tend the garden, whether it’s romantic union or friendship, once the man has established a solid base, clear boundaries, but has shown he is ready for a mature, deep friendship or other type of union.  The garden should be mutually beautifully nurtured, chivalry should extend both ways in different ways because it’s the right thing to do.  I went through a short phase of “women’s lib, modern women’s lib mindset” luckily, I got of it, got some common sense.  I hope I will find others who think this same way and we can create a beautiful garden in life.


Clarity on People and Path

Life and Liberty, God Bless America
The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

As a new year begins, since one’s birthday really begins the New Year, I find myself quite clear what type of people I want in my life, including as a life partner and my vocational path.

In terms of friendship I want those who will share my conservative values, I would like to have friendship with those who love traditional conservative Catholicism, all that it encompasses, who would seek activities regularly connected to church,  Catholic culture and the arts, often in connection to faith and church.  I hope to have the good Lord bring forth into my life those who live in and love the city, in and with very close distance to Manhattan as I really am a City girl, not a country girl, unless it’s a  day or weekend trip, and someone is taking me out there with the car and back home, the drive is not a long one at all, or it’s a , very convenient train ride, like when I used to go to Long Island.  I would love to have friends with whom I can do great artistic and faith collaborative work with and also share social activity with, as here described.    I would even be open to home movie and then dine and chat about the movie or program kind of thing and if I had my own space, place I would even host that kind of thing.    In terms of a special someone to share my life with, not any different, it would be someone who really does encompass gallantry, some old fashioned gallantry, so if you get invited to someplace, they pick you up, take you home, see to it you get to where you are going and back home safe.  They look out for, same with any male friends, they do it out of gallantry, respect.  These are the type of people I am going to be meditating on attracting to my life, into my life and that I be this kind of person also.    I hope to in my life and in general be able to reject the sin, but love and have empathy for the sinner, understanding the difference and also the difference between empathy and sympathy.

As for my vocational path. no doubt on that.  The path for me is music and ministry, so far it is with the church and voluntary, which is fine, don’t mind.   I also need to earn my daily braad as the saying goes, so now comes the putting this all together outside of the church, activities separate from that to earn my daily bread and hopefully I can collaborate with others starting this Fall to make that happen.  It is what I want to do with the rest of my life.  



Dark Room, Headphone, Numb, Yikes!

a dark room

I had a dream this morning about someone I know and it truly pained me because I care about them as a person and what both of us hope to save in therms of our faith and an institution.

When a dream shows me someone carrying a bunch of stuff, equipment, papers etc… and they are about to fall to the ground, smash to a million pieces, them saying oh oh as they try to keep that from happening, and they then refuse all offer of assistance offered, all wisdom, insight advice offered in that same dream, any attempt from anyone in that regard, rather going into a dark room, headphones on, fidgeting with equipment that is not in line with what is needed, just being in the dark, working alone in a dark room, a dark place.  That kind of dream is heartbreaking because it tells me that a person is not only living in the dark about what is going on around them, refusing to heed any advice, any input etc.., but that they have tuned out to true intimacy, true close relationships of any kind.  They are carrying all this load on their own, refusing to accept help, real help, real close deep profound connection help, collaboration etc…  They won’t share anything of depth with you, or rally anyone in any intimate connection way, though they may have lots of people they know.  It was heartbreaking to watch this person in my dream go into that dark room, cover his ears, refuse to hear, refuse to acknowledge, perhaps even his own heart, spirit and soul truths.  One can choose to stay in that dark room forever, alone, shut everyone out, heed no one be a team of one, but that is a dark place to be, letting past hurt baggage accumulated stay there.  One can do the opposite and be liberated from all that junk, baggage, not be in a dark room, not have headsets on and ignore truths about what should be done, reach out and ask for help directly, collaborate, coordinate etc.. directly on a day to day basis.  That takes a lot of courage to do so and awareness of the fact one is in the dark all alone, in that dark room with those headsets.  

What do you do if you have, as an empath etc.., these insights?  When you receive these insights it is usually for a reason, and the first thing to do is pray and meditate as to why you did.  If it’s a dear friend you are an integral part of their life, hang out a lot, really close, you can directly approach them about it.  However, if that is not the case, as much as it pains you to receive this insight, you can also be grateful that you did receive and pray, meditate for their healing of heart, spirit and soul, for release of all their baggage, breaking down of all their walls, all that is toxic etc…for the light to shine bright in their lives.  Don’t give up, meditate, pray and as best you can, offer help periodically, maybe just in the form of thoughtful questions to ponder.  


Instant Affinity, Now What?

Holy Ghost

You meet and there is this instant affinity, anointing almost, might not be flashy, balls of fire, it might be like a beautiful spiritual breeze and descending dove that comes upon you.  It might be something where you instantly click, flow, communicate etc.. and it feels like home, they feel like home.  If you are a sensitive you might sense they have that same affinity, same magnetic pull in your direction.  What’s the problem? Why not just assume everything will move at lightening speed and their heart, spirit soul will open up, they will acknowledge this to themselves, to you etc…? Well because it may not happen that way and it may not be that easy.

We have seven levels of consciousness according to metaphysical teaching and if you also look at catholic saints and their mystical experiences you see that we have layers of consciousness.  What does that mean?  It means just that, depth and layers.  For feelings and acknowledging them, well it can be tricky.  Feelings begin at a subconscious and psychic conscious level and work their way up to the conscious.  For some that happens very quickly, nothing blocks it and they have such an openness with the divine, with their own feelings, and the spiritual on every level that they are able to immediately have the subconscious feelings go to the conscious acknowledge them and constructively bring them out into the open.  Others, it is a lot harder to do that due to lack of trust in themselves, in others, in life etc.. due to negative experiences.  If they have had a life pattern of negative experiences, then they will have closed their heart, spirit and soul, not want to love or be loved, even if they do want that, yearn for it.  When they do start to have any deep emotions of friendship, of connection of anything with anyone on a subconscious and psychic level, their immediate instinct might be to block it, resist it, get all intellectual about it etc.., anything rather than face it, embrace it, express it to the other person, act on it.  That terrifies them, confronting anything emotional terrifies them because it might bring pain as far as they’re concerned.

What do you do when you know there is something there, underneath the surface, but they do not have the courage to express it, to speak up, to share etc…? Keep being you, keep connecting, pray, meditate,  hope that any walls that have been put up due to fear will come down and what is in the subconscious, those deeper hidden levels will surface, be acknowledged, fully embraced, fully expressed etc…If at some point you feel you have to let go and in terms of your heart move on, you do so.


Easy Flow Can Be Quite Exciting

Baptism of Fire

There is this assumption that for something to be “it”, a relationship, anything, it has to come like a blazing fire or with bells and whistles, but I am realizing that is not true.

That which God has anointed, which speaks most true to my spirit is turning out to have come in a manner that is like a stream of water that flows very naturally.  It is something I find I am able to flow with very easily, naturally.  Sharing, being me comes very naturally in this particular role and with a particular person, which is very beautiful.  Society and the media in particular has given this impression in the past that if a project, a vocation, a relationship, a friendship wasn’t begun with some kind of major “wham, bam” then forget it.  a true vocation, anointed project, even soulmate whether friendship or romantic life partner is not about “wham bam”.  It is about much more than that.  When something is meant to last long term it is something that flows, that you feel in sync with, you feel supported by and you also extend that.  There is a sense that you are not only nurturing the project, or relationship, but you are somehow being nurtured, inspired etc.. by it.  You can see yourself connected to that project, that friendship, that relationship even 50 years from now, even 100 years from now in some fashion. You want to nurture it, see it grow, find ways to have it grow and don’t feel it will be a major effort because there is common ground.  You find you can communicate when it comes to a project with those involved in the project very easily because those involved see you as an integral part of the project and vice versa.  If a relationship you see each other as equal parts of the whole, so you feel very comfortable communicating.   You also feel comfortable exchanging ideas, even in a project situation you feel that way when it is truly an anointed project.    There is a sense of willingness to compromise, to find a middle ground for the greater good of the organization, project, the relationship.   There is flow.  There is also honesty about how you view things etc.., not in a mean way, but honesty out of caring.  The persons involved in the project etc.. or the person in the relationship, they understand and feel they can also do the same.   You understand if they share something they are doing it out of caring, even if you don’t agree at all.  There is where the compromise comes in.  If it is a romantic relationship, or friendship, even one that has potential to go beyond friendship, this all applies. As for supporting each the other person’s dreams,  even a friend’s, well yeah, but also we should be honest and make sure they streamline their dreams, lives, so as to not burn out, that they don’t have a fragmented and cluttered life, end up in circles to nowhere.  That is an important part of caring, but how we present that is also important.   That also has to be kept in mind.

We have been fed this notion of what relationship, vocation is supposed to look like, supposed to be like feel like, “immediate wow, explosion wham bam city”.  Well no, lasting life long amazing stuff does not necessarily feel immediately like that, it may feel like the sweetest most sublime hot air balloon ride in the sky, can soar like an eagle kind of thing.  Remember that.

Close Collaboration Possessiveness?

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

Some of us want partnership, collaborative, cooperative, synergy, intertwining for very good reasons.  However, that and speaking, sharing from the heart openly, freely and whenever free flowing is misinterpreted. 

I create strictly according to in the moment, at that moment Holy Spirit given and inspired material.  I don’t force anything, set time specifically aside to write songs or music or even my meditations.  I write and record things as they come on the spot when they come on the spot more often than not,  in terms of my own stuff.   However, I also have a strong sense of wanting to closely collaborate with others day to day, find those who will value my skill set as an artist and so much more.  Who will value that I wear my heart on my sleeve, will pry their own heart open, see wearing heart on the sleeve not as an evil thing, see my sharing what I think and feel for the greater good of the project, the relationship etc.. as a good thing, not an evil thing, or a possessiveness thing.  It doesn’t matter if it is professional or personal, to me there has to be communication, free flowing, open and from the heart, heart on the sleeve.  There has to be connection, cooperation, collaboration, really working as a team or nothing will work.  I don’t want to do lone ranger only and so when I make any kind of really positive, great connection I see no reason not to reach out, share, heart on my sleeve, be totally open with my ideas etc…, intertwine socially as well.  Why not?  It seems others don’t always take well to this, and view it as possessive, as perhaps I might have ulterior motives and withdraw, suddenly withdraw.  I know I am simply sharing, caring, reaching out and being authentic to myself in doing so, in seeking integrated collaboration etc…, but others don’t seem to always see it that way. Hmmm

I could stop being me, feel awful about being me, never reach out again, give up on ever finding solid partnerships to engage in creatively or otherwise, ones that are bold courageous, heart on the sleeve etc… I could do all of that, feel sad, depressed about it all, but that would mean life and the world would be deprived of my works, of what I could achieve and that is not an option.  If others choose to let their fears, paranoia etc… get in the way and withdraw, or walk away, okay, up to them, but I have to keep being me, reaching out, speaking from the heart so on so forth.