Life Lesson 40 and 41

45 life Lessons

Often we get so stuck in what was, or wasn’t, don’t have etc.., and I’ve been there myself., more than once.  Problem with that is you don’t get to live life, only re-live what was or wasn’t, a loop that plays over and over.  You end up literally stagnant and stuck where you are, unable to move forward, unable to really live life, be part of life, so you end up just an observer of life.  It’s not a good place to be, not for spirit or the soul, both need to be living, actually living.   How do you do that?  You show up, you make a conscious effort to make changes, even if small ones.  Often best to start with small changes, rather than huge ones.   One thing I have come to realize is that despite the fibromyalgia if I want to not be stuck, then it’s important to live life, to implement that wellness plan.  Yes, I will discuss my wellness plan with my doctor, but overall, it’s a good plan, and I think the doctor will agree to it, even if minor adjustments are made. If I want people to know who I am as an artist, as a coach, well I need to show up, need to join associations, go to events, even when I may not always feel like it.  I have to show up for life, not just observe it. I hope we can all learn to show up and live life, not just observe it. 

Namaste, Shalom, and Amen

Inspiration or Dictation

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If you see this picture, inspiring, I think so and that is what made me choose it, but someone else might choose something else as inspiriting.  When God decided to pen his Holy Scriptures, the Bible, he understood this and he understood a few other things.  He understood personality, style, perspective, cultural experience.  What does this have to do with the Bible, and who wrote what, and God being the same now and forever? A lot actually, a whole lot. 

Poetry, Fiction, Song, take any genre and you have numerous writers within that genre, but a publisher knows that each writer has their own style, personality etc.., so he can’t use a cookie cutter approach with all the writers, same goes with a good teacher and her students. When the Holy Spirit inspired Moses, and those of the New Testament to write, He had to keep in mind their personality, their life experience, a host of things because He had to honor their free will and their personality.  He will never honor our sins, but our personality, style of writing and all that, yeah. Luke was a physician, perhaps a pediatric doctor, worked a lot with children because he focuses on the childhood where others don’t, so God honored that background in him to tell of Jesus’s childhood.  What of the one who had been a tax collector, what are his accounts like, what do they tend to focus on? What of John? Why is John inspired to write in a mystical fashion?  Could it be that John by nature was a philosopher, esoteric? Paul, what of him, well he was passionate, so his writing letters in defense of Jesus’s truth is perfectly in line with his character.  See what I’m getting at? The Scriptures were not a dictation per se, but rather given in accordance with each person’s personality, background etc.. to relay God’s truth.  God is consistent in that, so if he is consistent in that regard, then his core precepts and moral boundaries are also consistent, which is why scripture tells us God is the same past, present, and future.   When God inspires a poem, a song in me, he knows my personality etc.. so giving me something in the Rock genre would not work, not at all, it’s not in line with my persona.  God is consistent and so are his concepts and precepts of ethics and morals, of rejecting sin though he loves us the sinners.   

Then we get into the question of what sin is and speak to 10 different faith leaders, likely to get 7 different answers.  I am going to take a crack at this based on scripture, metaphysical and other levels of understanding, common sense and observation.  As I have come to understand sin and missing the mark, sin is this.  It is actions that are destructive to yourself, to others, society, and with malicious intent.  It is actions that destroy the fabric of society in some way, and natural order as designated by God and nature which God created, but through arrogance and pride was corrupted.  Some would say, well does that mean I should stay in miserable family or relationship situations forever, even harmful ones? Are they miserable because you and the other person have not fully embraced Christ and Biblical wisdom? Are either of you refusing to acknowledge baggage and issues that need help resolving? Have you done all possible to salvage the situation and it just is as miserable as ever or more so?  If there is truly no fixing or saving the situation and there is a danger to the person, or persons in the household, well no God doesn’t expect you to stay.  He understands that this is a broken world and because it is, sometimes stuff can’t be fixed and we have to move on, even with parents and their kids.  Is sharing the wealth sinful or not sinful? Depends.  Are you forcing people to live in almost dictatorial conditions or less than optimum quality conditions in a misguided notion of equality?  Sharing, tithing all of that has to be voluntary, not government mandated, so yes it is a sin to force distribution of wealth under government rule.  At the community level if the churches, synagogues etc.. create an email list and they let the needs of the community, people be known and people help voluntarily, fine, awesome.  Let people keep most of their money, of their earnings and let the local community be the one to distribute wealth.  No sin in that.  What of love, is all love okay? No, a parent that loves to the exclusion of boundaries is missing the mark of good parenting, of Godly parenting.  Love that takes advantage of another’s goodness and good heart is not a Godly love, the opposite.  Sin is about what is in the heart, boundaries and such.  Sin is about being selfish and destructive to self, other and society with maliciousness, with spite, or taking action with not caring about the consequences, not even measuring them, figuring out how to minimize them, though it is broken beyond repair and you know you have to move on.  Even in the political arena, laws, borders, boundaries matter, they matter to God, so they need to matter to us.  If you read scripture, that mattered to God, natural order, boundaries, even sexual natural order, hence the end of Soddom and Ghammorah.  Not as complex as sometimes church leaders would have us think. Hope this helps bring some clarity.

Shalom and Amen 

Check out my latest song on soundclouud https://soundcloud.com/kathy-appello 

Life Lesson 38 and 39

45 life Lessons

People talk about a legacy, leaving a legacy for others, and they build monuments and think about the material aspect of a legacy, of fame and fortune aspect of a legacy or activism as their legacy, all of which have their merit when property motivated and stewarded etc..What do many of the scriptures and legends teach us about legacy and what matters? What would a lot of people tell you matters most at the end of their life? Some might think of the material, but many would say the most precious thing is the people they love and who loved them.  Love really is the greatest legacy we have.  We do have to be discerning in the love we share because love has to be shared in a way that is healthy for all, that empowers others, inspires others, creates a certain independence to want to explore their own talents, gifts, path and vocation, keeping in mind what the bible says about what love is.  Doesn’t mean no boundaries, no law, no. Love comes in many forms, even in the form of songs, poems shared, the love put into building homes for people so love can come in many ways.  To love and be loved is the greatest gift we have, the greatest legacy and should be wisely applied, discerned and understood. 

What legacy would we maybe not want to leave future generations? Envy is something I hope we would not leave current or future generations with.  Envy steals the soul of the ability to find one’s own path, one’s own joy, one’s own inner peace.  Envy says I am a scared child who has this empty hole in me and I think things will fill it, titles will fill it, so I envy. If you have kids or any young family members that are around you a lot, envy is a poison I would hope you would not want to pass on. Rather I would hope you would pass on much more attractive qualities. Not only for your sake but for everyone’s sake. 

Shalom and Amen

Spiritual Awakening

Spiritual Awakening

We are not all at the same stage spiritually and that’s okay, God made us all as individuals, so wherever you are is fine.  Think with spiritual awakening is it’s a bit like grief, we can go in and out of stages, back and forth as we make the journey, so I have gone through these stages in and out back and forth, as I have explored my relationship with the Holy Trinity, with Religion.  As I work out my plan for wellness, which after my hypersensitive reaction to even light exercise has to now be adjusted, which I” discuss”  I find that I am in no way moving away from the core of the Christian faith, from my belief in the Trinity, as Christianity to me makes sense,  At the same time, I find that certain Eastern Practices calm me, help me, certain meditation and spa music helps me and is good for me.  I find that I am moving between two worlds of the arts and coaching, trying to figure out how to intertwine the two. It’s definitely a process and a journey, so if you find that you move to stage seven then suddenly move into stage four again, then back to stage seven, it’s okay, at some point you will be long-term in stage seven. It may happen for some sooner than others, and that’s okay. 

My wellness, The gym, even with light exercise and a trainer, went badly.  I should have listened to my dear friends who have chronic health issues, but live and learn.  What will I do now? Simple adjust, simply adjust.  I will start with what I have at home, the fitness twisting board, light massage therapy, then acupuncture, group meditation at a nearby Buddhist center perhaps, then yoga, then we will see beyond that.  Getting on to a healthy diet is also important, so seeing a nutritionist, paramount.  Part of the journey of life is adapting, so you adapt, adapt to change, change in circumstances etc.., doesn’t mean your core beliefs have to change, not for me. 

Amen

 

Glad To Have This Time

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I very much enjoy sharing with all of you my journey and these reflections on life. Fibromyalgia makes you think about what you used to do and how things were, though I don’t do it often, get into that “I used to be such an avid walked.” The “used to” mode. At times it seems that when I’m crashing or the fibro gives me lots of hassle that “used to” comes up.  Also the “could’ve, should’ve” they also come up.  Then I think of the fact that I am able to do what I love doing, poetry, music, this, sharing, inspiring, and it doesn’t seem so bad.  I try to keep this phrase in mind.

Faith is About

Faith, belief in God, in the Divine, the Sacred, Holy, Creator of all things, Christ Savior, Holy Spirit Counselor, Helper, doesn’t mean magic want poof everything instantly okay.  It does mean that I can be okay no matter what the journey, how draining the journey turns out to be. It means that though I am not who I was before the fibromyalgia, I can still be a valuable contributor to society.  That’s the beauty of faith.  It doesn’t always come easily to keep that faith alive, but then I see something in nature, a child smile, or a parent-child interaction, something, and my faith is made strong again.

Shalom and Amen 

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Thanksgiving Nature and Thanks Decor

Thanksgiving Centerpieces

Thanksgiving is a time of Thanks, and it can also be a time for teaching.  If we use nature for our decor, even lanterns, with candlelight to light them, we can teach young people about the bounty of God, about the beauty of creation, creative inspiration of the creator.  We can teach prayer to give thanks for all of that and to tap into the creativity of nature, that nature inspires.  Yes, the turkey and stuffing etc.. are yummy, let’s teach about thanks, about the creative love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Let’s make this a very spiritual  Thanksgiving, not just one of stuffing our faces.  Shalom and Amen

Fallout, Good or Bad?

Northern Lights

Often in life, we will do our best to make things work, give situations, people, relationships chance after, after chance to work, and we do it for any number of reasons. I am not saying give up at the first sign of trouble, but often we are so afraid of fallout if we make changes, walk away from what is dead, burnt toast, what can’t be salvaged, or is harming our ability to grow as a person, spiritually in every way, making us consistently miserable, so we wait it out, hoping a miracle will salvage it.

The problem with that is that the longer we wait, the longer we chew on burnt toast so to speak, the greater the fall out when it just reaches a point of breaking, where we just are forced to change things or walk away.  It’s like getting a cut and hoping it will heal, or just running water over it and thinking that can disinfect it, it can’t.  The longer you let that cut go, the more the chance of a deadly infection.  Often we think we are doing the noble thing for others by staying where things are dead, where there is no life, no deep connection etc.., it is so burnt out, can’t be salvaged, though we have done our best. What of the others? Those others may actually be hurt more the longer one waits, tries to force things to work that can’t. All we can do is give it our best, but after we have done, really given it our best.

The longer we wait, the greater the fall out when it just reaches a point of breaking, where we just are forced to change things or walk away. Often we think we are doing the noble thing for others by staying where things are dead, where there is no life, no deep connection etc.., it is so burnt out, can’t be salvaged, though we have done our best. What of the others? Those others may actually be hurt more the longer one waits, tries to force things to work that can’t. All we can do is give it our best, but after we have done, really given it our 150%, and so has the other party or if they haven’t but we have, whether it’s career or personal life related, that is all we can do. I realize now that I did myself and mom a great disservice by not going out on my own. I felt I had to stay because duty and obligation, her not speaking English well, how could I just up and go have a life, leave her alone. In doing that, she never got out there to learn English, to make friends, build a community for herself. By my staying, I did no service to myself or her. When we see clearly something is burnt toast, DOA, can’t be salvaged, we need a plan and we need to have the courage to walk away. Yes, there will be some chaos maybe, some hurt, but in the long term, it will be positive for everyone, though it may not seem that way at the time. Something to think about.

Life Lesson 36 and 37

45 life Lessons

Are you like the IRS in terms of your life, constantly scrutinizing every aspect of your life, of the could have, should have, if only etc…?  Are you your own worst critic and nightmare? Well, join the club.  You are not alone, and I used to be that way.  I have had a hard time not letting my past mistakes be a wall that kept me stuck in that past and not moving forward in the way I truly felt I should.  I know that no one can move me forward but me.  Yes people can encourage, guide etc.., but ultimately through daily spiritual practice, wellness, meditation, prayer, forgiving self in the knowledge that the Creator has forgiven me and wishes me to live a better, wiser healthier life, make wise choices for my own sake, I can let that wall completely crumble, but I know it’s not going to happen overnight.  Still if I never get started, it never will, which is why joining the gym was important to me, and starting the yoga, regular exercise will be important, shift the energy, mindset, and thus life. Doesn’t mean a perfect life, but one not stuck in a loop of auditing myself and my life constantly based on past mistakes, learning from that, moving forward and not repeating those mistakes, making better choices, wiser ones.  That will mean figuring out what to let go of whether that’s people, places, particular belief structures.  The one thing I can never release is a belief in God and the overall holistic understanding of life lived according to the Ten Commandments.  God is just logical for me, as nothing could have been created, organized etc.. even the laws of gravity and science without a brilliant mind and seeing the human struggle of good and evil Biblical understanding of life, even if strictly at a metaphysical level is what makes sense and is logical.  Certain things will probably always remain a part of my life, but I am at  place in life where I am looking at things from a wellness and holistic perspective more than a theology perspective, so for example certain biblical truths make sense from a wellness and science viewpoint for me anyway.  For others it may not be that way, but I can only believe what I trust in my core being to be true.  Even if organized religion, or religious bureaucracy , the uber liberal direction of the Roman Catholic Church doesn’t sit well with me and is not appealing to me, nor the layers of bureaucracy,  and I may let that part go, doesn’t mean there is nothing of value to learn from the traditional teachings. Reincarnation, that just doesn’t jive for me, this endless loop of coming and going, back and forth etc.., meditation, a certain detachment, as Jesus taught, in but not of the world, yes, but reincarnation, doesn’t jive, this constant loop.  Again, I am looking at everything now, seeking to look at it from what makes sense, truly makes sense based on what I see in this struggle of good and evil, what makes sense to embrace philosophically, metaphysically and scripturally, spiritually for holistic wellness and that of society, including in regards to sexuality?  That is how I am seeking to make decisions, even in regards to matters of faith.  As I make my journey through the rest of life, I have to be careful not to be an IRS auditor in overdrive in my life and make decisions based on holistic wellness and what truly authentically makes sense, rings true, such as Capitalism, Never Marxism, Never Socialism. 

Shalom and Amen

Everything You Do

Everything You Do

As a kid, even as a teen, you are not in a position of full discernment when it comes to decision making, but life is a journey one where discernment of decisions etc… comes from being able to step back and say “is this for my greater good and the greater good, is it respecting boundaries etc..?” Yes nurture, type of nurture, and all that plays a role in shaping you, but when does the scapegoating end?  When do we take responsibility for our life choices, stop blaming God, Parents etc.. At what point does one take ownership of one’s life, one’s decisions etc..?  Hopefully early on in life.  It’s easier to play the blame game, and it means you don’t ever have to grow up, make the hard choices or even accept the consequences of any choices you make when they go wrong, or if they were clearly the wrong choice.  It’s important that we be able to make the choice, with reflection, informed, with clarity and accept the results, consequences etc…Yeah, it’s not always fun being all grown up, but staying in wonderland forever is kind of a sad place to be.  I hope we all can come to that place where we honor wisdom, discernment etc.. and the fact that at a certain point in life whatever choices we make we own and the consequences as well. 

Shalom and Amen