What Kind of Relationship?


I thought about what kind of relationship I want in terms of my life partner again and it has to have key components:

  • Strong spiritual component
  • Make our union a strong priority, making it flow
  • Be each other’s cheerleader, even as we are honest with each other
  • Have an artistic component
  • Be each other’s friend, have that foundation
  • Make mutual effort to be part of each other’s day to day life
  • Have a solid commitment, also be free spirited

It’s important we have a strong spiritual base of foundation, even if it’s meditating to classical music together daily, some kind of spiritual base and having similar principles in terms of a worldview. These key ingredients are important if I am going to have a partnership in life and maybe that person I can have this kind of relationship with has not shown up yet.  Of course there has to be lots of great chemistry and electricity, that would be super great.  I hope that soon, very soon, God can bless me with this union, relationship that starts off with a strong friendship, our making time for each other and then it moves to the next level organically.  That is one of my prayers.   I know I am 51 and I could lose all hope, but I refuse to and believe there is such a relationship for me, just a matter of my praying and meditating to draw it to me, to being open to it.



Not The Endings That Haunt

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We hate ending, most people do, endings mean change, they mean loss.  Sometimes, it has to be for any number of reasons.  Worse than endings are non endings, situations that never went full circle, never had closure, never had a goodbye as they needed, with so much left unsaid, unresolved. One of the things we need to  discern is when to say goodbye, when to close books and chapters, which is not always easy, but is necessary.  We might mourn the loss, the closing of that book, chapter, but if it is toxic, if it is not something God would have us continue then we need to discern that and walk away with closure somehow.  Even in terms of hopes and dreams that God calls us to, not our own stubborn self, but God, beginning the journey that God calls us on vocationally, but then letting fear stop us throughout life is not a positive.  If it is a God given vocation, not saying it will be easy, but it also wouldn’t be filled with pain tears and heartache constantly.  That’s not of God.   In all things we have to have some kind of discernment, in all aspects of life.

Shalom and Amen

Can’t Make You Whole

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We often seek others to make us whole, to make us feel whole, but that is not another person’s job, no human can really make you whole, or healed.  Another can be a catalyst, a prompt for that journey, but they can not heal you.  Only we can heal us through accepting what is, was, needs changing and all that.  If we keep pushing someone to be the magic cure for us to be whole etc… eventually we will crush them under that weight.  We need to figure out how to be whole within our own journey in life, not look to another to be a magic formula to make us whole or anything like that.  An authentic, cultivated spiritual life can be of great help along the journey, so I love listening for example to this youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDeB9zIoE_s&t=1463s and others like this to connect to the spiritutal in life.  I hope that we all come to wholeness within ourselves as Sons and Daughters of the Most High, The Creator of this amazing universe.


April 4th Mark Your Calander

Peaceful Retreat

Date:  April 4th

Time:  Noon

Location:  Google Hangout

Seminar: Theme:  Fear and Moving Through It

Location:: Google Hangout

RSVP By March 29th:   Paypal $10 constribution

This seminar will look at the different types of fear, as well as the triggers, roots and then tools for moving through fear.  If you wish to then purchase a hypnotherapy mp3 you may do so separately to further assist in moving through fears in a healthy holistic way, though the mini meditation we do at the end may be of assistance and feel free to record it.  This is the event link for you to add to your calendar: https://calendar.google.com/event?action=TEMPLATE&tmeid=MXJiNXBvcDcybmthNXAxbjkzaGpwcTl1MHQgYXBwZWxsb2NvYWNoQG0&tmsrc=appellocoach%40gmail.com


Is the Past Ever Truly Put to Rest?

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The past came has come visiting me these past few weeks, almost like a haunting, like a ghost.  It stays buried for a while, but then either something with the fibromyalgia, something will resurrect the ghosts of the past, all the frustration about not paying attention to God’s plan for me, frustration about letting my childhood stuff cloud my choices etc… into adulthood.  The past should stay in the past, shouldn’t cloud tomorrow, but I realized something.  It has taken away, rather the baggage I have carried has taken away  from me.  It has up to now taken away any sense of safety, of choice, any real sense of the ability to make choices, not the right ones. In essence, what was ahead scared me because what had been had hurt me so much.  Yet, I kept putting myself in relationship and career situations that would hurt me, cause pain, be one wall after another, one obstacle after another.  It is only now that I am coming to understand this fully, this notion of being scared of what was before me, so I didn’t embrace, seek out fully God’s plan for me because I was too hurt by what had been and couldn’t really trust anyone fully, not even God.  Am I in a place of being totally healed, where I can totally trust, even totally trust God?  No, getting close, getting there, but not totally there, not yet.  I am sure God understands and He is quite patient, so I just have to keep walking the journey till I get home, that’s all.   What does home look like? Lots of music and ministry/coaching and lots of smiling as I share God, and the lessons of life with all the world, God’s path for me.

Shalom and Amen

Benefits of Mindfulness, Even in Prayer

Northern Lights II

When we refer to mindfulness, being in the moment, that sense of being in the moment and letting the moment just be, acknowledge what it feels like, but don’t immediately react, don’t be reactive, get centered, it has a number of benefits.  I did a bit of research and wanted to share them with you.

  1. Decreased Stress
  2. Higher brain functioning
  3. Increased immune function
  4. Lowered blood pressure
  5. Lowered heart rate
  6. Lowered anxiety levels
  7. Experience of being calm and internally still
  8. Experience of feeling connected
  9. Increased awareness
  10. Increased attention and focus
  11. Increased clarity in thinking and perception

These are the core benefits of practicing awareness, and for me music and prayer are how I do mindfulness.  When the weather is nicer and flowers are in bloom, sitting in the park with headphones and calming music, observing the world around me is how I plan to enhance awareness even further.  As we get more centered and clear in our mind etc… the greater clarity our lives will have.



Anger and Faith, Oh My

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A book was recently written “The Lost Shepherd” regarding Pope Francis, his Papacy.  We have vatican officials close to this Pope raging at anyone who questions what the heck this Pope and the Vatican is doing, violations of core magisterium.  It seems this Papal posse can’t handle the truth, doesn’t like to be told what’s what, lashes out, those around the Pope like Spadaro act like spoiled brats. So, is it “wrong” to be angry, ever?   Yes, it is.   However, it’s all about point of reference for that anger, and such, which is why in the faith community there is the term righteous anger.  What is righteous anger?  It is a reactive emotion of anger over mistreatment, insult, or malice of another, and even self. For example as a Church, the body of Christ when church leaders contradict bible truth about marriage, family etc… anger is justified.  When government violates the Constitution, especially as a pattern, anger is absolutely justified.  When there is actual mistreatment of people, helpless animals, cruelty, yes anger is justified.  If a child is being neglected etc.., or an elderly person, all of this is cause for anger, it’s righteous anger.  If you are getting passed over constantly at work for those less qualified because they “kiss up”, yes you would be angry and rightly so, wouldn’t you be? Anger can be the correct response or a dangerous emotional reaction. The nature of anger is defined by the motivation and the state of the heart. Anger over issues that would anger God, such as crime, abortion, pornography, abuse, oppression, and so on, is justifiable and can cause positive action.  Jails are full because of anger. Men and women rage at their kids, kids at everyone else because of anger. Families are destroyed because of anger etc….Women rage against men being taught that the Patriarchy is responsible for all ills in life and society, with no one seeming to be willing to take responsibility for their own lives and screws ups, no one willing to hear truth biological, scriptural or otherwise.    If one of faith and spiritual life is wondering what the heck is the difference between righteous and unrighteous anger this chart might help http://www.jerseygrace.org/studies/gtsn_right.html

There is also another factor, reaction, response.  Those troubled by the Pope have written him letters, have written books to try and get him to see truth, and taken different steps to bring him back to Magisterium truth.  In our government here in the U.S., we are seeing exposed wrong doings of various government agencies and hopefully constructive overhauls will take place, changes made to different systems that truly benefit all, or the majority.  People have taken to social media to put pressure and it seems to work.  Then you have the attempt to silence free speech by intimidating businesses into severing ties with the NRA when the problem is not the weapons, it’s people and society, bureaucracy breakdowns.  You have an education system that does not allow for vigorous debate and disagreement, speaking of truth, even if that truth hurts, offends, and that’s not a good sign for society, not at all.  When there is anger for whatever reason, including not liking truths told, it’s not the anger that is the issue, it’s whether it’s within the parameter of righteous anger or not and also the response that matter.  We should ask ourselves these questions based on the parameters of righteous vs unrighteous anger:  Is my anger truly justified?  Is my anger to intense for me to be in right mind at this time?  Am I too quick to anger?  Does my anger last too long?   If the answer is yes to more than one of these, to all of these, then we need to do some serious meditating, praying, etc…, 

Shalom and Amen

To Remember When Clouds Come

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Let’s face it, life has a bit of everything, sun, clouds, rain, thunder, sandstorms, sweet, sour, spicy, a host of weather patterns and flavors, and when the not so great ones show up, it can be really discouraging, so when that happens, if you can have this on your wall in each room, a reminder to keep the faith strong, something like this, it can make a difference in your mindset and how you approach life, even those not so sunny days.