Realistic Optimism, Focus, a Grown Up Thing

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

Many times one would like to go back, relive youth and do all one didn’t do in their youth, reclaim dreams not realized and all that jazz. What happens?

Oy, Mamma Mia!  I didn’t see every dream realized in my life, in my younger years, now at over 50, I am looking at life from the point of view of hopefully maturity and that means being a focused optimistic realist.  I love to write and perform, as much as I love to inspire and teach, but realistically, I have no voice training, am not trained in terms of musical instruments though I like to fiddle with the piano and keyboard and can get some decent music at times.  I have done nicely performing poetry and my songs have been licensed recently via the Harry Fox agency, and some good stuff has happened with my songs, artistic gifts.  This coaching blog has been a blessing to others it seems, and is growing.  I hope to have live seminars in NYC soon, hopefully this Fall that you can attend and we can meet in person.  However, realistically, for me to think that at this point in life I am going to become some major performing artist is pie in the sky.  Would I be Optimistically Realistic to think that with promotion of my music to DJ’s and with it being posted, even samples of it online, I might get some local performance gigs? Yes, of course.  Would I be happy to do local performances NYC, and maybe if Florida would have me and pay all expenses, sure, why not, but not June-September.  Would I be smart to be all over the map musically and with coaching? NO! I have been told my best work is when I do with my natural style which is surprisingly R&B/Soul, and as for the Coaching, with my own life path, my best niche is Motivational and Spiritual Coaching.   Realistic Optimism is a great thing, and with focus and planning that can make for a great life.  The spotlight of fame and huge fortune may not be very realistic and trying to relive my lost youth, to recapture any lost years or lost anything is a game only fools play.  Optimistic Realist and wise ones look at where they are at and work very well with that to create something awesome for the now and the future, to leave a very distinct, very focused legacy, a very mature legacy.

Some may think why realism? Why does that need to be part of anything? Why can’t I just be super optimistic, free spirit and full of faith, roll the dice live in the moment etc.. and all will be well, why do I need both realism and optimism? For one like I said, called being a grown up!  I also did some research to find out why you need both.  If you are going to process and face problems etc.. in life, you had better friggin have a good dose of both and not be a snowflake or a “free spirit” butterfly that runs whenever their is an issue, or a bunch of lousy memories thinking that will solve it.   Also when there is a blind optimism about life, there is this tendency to think quantity not quality of everything, that includes activities and friendships, so one never has any intimate close connections or friendships to anyone.  One may know a whole slew of people be the life of the party, but not be able to have a true intimate, raw, know you inside out, heart on the line connection. The article points out and I would agree:  “So when it comes to optimism or pessimism, “hope for the best, prepare for the worst” is an ideal motto. To achieve that you must be honest with yourself about your usual approach to life. Discover the ways in which your past may be distorting your present. Doing this can transform your grip on the truth for the better. By far the greatest cause of the emotional disturbances that make us avoid reality is our childhood relationships with our parents. Surprisingly few people have an understanding of the true role they played in their family,”  I myself am still exploring that further.

I am glad I am not a pessimist, nor a false unrealistic over the top optimist, but rather I would hope a grown up optimistic realist and that I always well be and a focused one that looks at and for quality, never quantity when it comes to people, relationships, and activities in my life.


Catholic Must Always Remain Catholic


When I hear of compromise, of reform in regards to the Catholic faith, I get a bit antsy.  I know some would find it quite amusing since I have never been religious, spiritual, philosophical about my Catholicism, not very religious about it.  

Due to the fibromyaltia, I have often watched Mass on TV, as I was crashing and not feeling very well, or went to the nearest church to home, and it has been a long and winding road to make my way back home to the Catholic church.   When I felt a call to minister I even went to a “Catholic” church that ordained women, did not really follow Church teachings because I thought call to ministry had to mean priesthood, which now I understand is not the case.  I am now back home and I am realizing the gift that Magisterium and the teachings of the Magisterium are to us, if we are truly willing to learn, to understand and seek to apply those teachings to life.  I hear people say that the Catholic Church should be run more like other denominations, should do things like other faith groups, like the Jews and Protestants do it.  As my we used to say to kids “If so and so jumped off a bridge would you do it to?” I would hope the answer would be no.  I recently posted articles that showed that the churches that are growing are actually the conservative ones, not the liberal ones.  

Let’s look at what makes Roman Catholic distinctly RC, let’s start there.  There five things in particular, core things: Papal Authority, The Eucharist and Transubstantiation, The Immaculate Conception, Purgatory (similar concept exists in Judaism, similar not exactly, similar) and of course there is also and I am adding the Priesthood with all attention given to the Church, marriage to the Church.  These are cornerstones of the faith, the industrial strength glue of the Church, very fabric of it.  These are all interwoven into the foundations of the Church, so what happens if you start pulling at the threads?  If you start pulling at the thread, any thread of a sweater, of anything, it unravels.  We already see how society with all its’ liberalism has unraveled, as it has moved to socialism, marxism, global identity etc.., no national identity, no pride in one’s nation, one’s cultural identity, or pride in a way that is destructive not constructive, a world where borders are being erased, so is law and order, where boundaries in all things are being thrown away.   The Roman Catholic Church with a beautiful uniqueness called the Magisterium that gives us a body of wisdom, when it stays true to conservative biblical principles, is the greatest gift we have for all the world.  

What should the Church do?  Not worry about size, God will determine the size it wants it to be.  It should seek to be strong as a beacon of Conservative values across the board, including politically, stand with a strong Capitalist Democratic Federalist Republic Model and Concept as well as a strong Constitutional form of government model for all nations, as well as strong national sovereignty and borders be honored.  It should stand strong with traditional marriage and pro-life, all of that.  It should show great support for the arts as a way to teach the faith, the conservative values of the faith and these forms of governance as the ideal model.  It should retain the character that makes it always uniquely Catholic, never bow down to the cultural landscape of the moment, but rather influence for God and Country.  Does the church need to reform to have more accountability for the clergy and have greater involvement of the laity? Yes, but the core of what makes us Roman Catholic must never change, and the RC Church must be a shinning light of Conservative values and it must not become a liberal institution, nor must it become a socialist marxist institution, nor a “sanctuary city” break federal law because we are a church so we can institution.  It must be a Church and have empathy, yes, but it must not participate in violating state sovereignty rights of a state to enforce its’ borders and border laws.  It must find a perfect balance between empathy and not violating state sovereignty, between living in the world, but not being of it, being a Conservative institution loyal to Biblical Truth and teaching it, no matter how painful it is for us to hear, with empathy, also understanding that nothing is ever hopefully where there is Christ in the heart.

Whatever happens in society, may the Roman Catholic Church always remain unique and uniquely Roman Catholic.



How To Spot Butterflies and Honeybees

butterfly honeybee

Often we can come across what I call the butterfly and or the honeybee, and they seem to be in the thick of it all, don’t they? 

They are really on the scene and they seem to be really busy all the time, and I used to have a complex about whether I was busy enough with life, whether I was useful enough in life based on whether I was busy enough, involved enough in enough stuff.  I could have become a butterfly and a honeybee, like some I have been observing.  What is a butterfly and/or honeybee?  Often such a person has their plate full day and night, they are involved in so many events, in different causes, even within one aspect of something cultural, spiritual, philanthropic, are all over the map.  They do not leave any time for being with themselves, as if being with themselves is something they can’t quite fathom.  They often have droves of “friends”, know lots of people, keep accumulating people in their lives, but are often in a cloud and won’t even remember what was said to them by anyone, and if you share anything of your work etc… they are so busy with busy work for the sake of busy most likely they don’t even look at it.  They may later on in life be trying to do all they feel they didn’t, realize all the dreams they feel they didn’t earlier on, and really have a hard time with just doing nothing, even just being with one person in a very deep intimate setting, situation emotionally, spiritually, and not even doing anything, just being present in the moment, chatting, just in the moment.  The butterfly also may have a sense of not wanting to see what is really happening, and positivism a good thing can be taken to where reality of a situation is ignored, decision making turned over to others and the fluttering here, there and everywhere continues.  There is no core venue or project of focus for the energy, no streamlining for achieving the cultural, spiritual, philanthropic etc… goals in one place, it’s scattered all over the place and nothing concrete gets accomplished long term.  Often there is no plan, it’s just winging it, which works for the short term, but not for the long term, ever.  They also often fail to realize that if you want to accomplish great stuff long term, you have to find the right partnership/s because that can be the key to make or break a lot in life.

Remember, being a butterfly, honeybee, even the lone ranger, rebel with a million causes is fine when you are in your youth and exploring who you are, what your gifts, talents, dreams are, but at a certain point in life, sorry folks, but it is time to stop fluttering the wings and pollinating here there and everywhere.  It is time to get streamlined, get focused, really figure out the venue where you are going to channel your energies, talents etc.. and make it happen, have that star light up and be a beacon for the world to be inspired so on and so forth.  It can still be fun, exciting if you make it so, constructively please, thank you.  Hopefully, at some point, butterflies and honeybees can learn to streamline on one field, one flower.



Palm Sunday Into Easter, Anything To Glean?

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

We had the Garden where Jesus was shown what was coming and the agony he went through, the struggle within, momentary hesitation, but then accepting to willingly give his life so we could have life.  

He knew ultimately the outcome would be glorious, and he would be seated at the right hand of the Father, all the governance of the world upon him, the ultimate CEO.  Talk about inheriting the family business, one heck of a load to inherit. He starts off with Palm Sunday, riding on the donkey, glorious, pretty great start to the CEO’s entry into the fray, but then it takes a harsh turn, soon you have false testimony against him, abandonment by those closest to him, except for mom and John, even Peter denies him three times, they wager on his clothes, mock him every which way to Sunday as they say, it’s brutal beyond words, going from that glorious donkey ride into town, palms laid out for you, waved for you, to that.  Remember a glorious resurrection and ascension is coming, but it was not going happen without a lot of sweat, blood and tears, hiccups and all that jazz.  Some might say that he saw what was coming, so should have prepared him, well, a weather person can give you all the visuals of a storm, earthquake etc… try and prepare you they want, but when that earthquake hits, that devastating storm hits, still hell.  We can see all the red flags etc.. that something is coming our way, but until it hits, we may not move out of the way, know what I mean.   As for Christ, his gift, for it to be appreciated and truly paid attention to it couldn’t come on a breeze, a wing and a prayer, too easy.  It took a lot of of prayer, wrestling, struggling within, all of that stuff to get from Palms to Resurrection and Ascension.  However, he had a clear goal, set goal and he did not waiver, it was singular, very clear, solid and he though he had perhaps moments of fear, he never let that fear overtake him.  Granted he was the Christ, the Word Made Flesh, Son Of God, but in his human incarnation he had all the anxieties etc.. any human has when faced with crap, abandonment when you most need people to be there.  Again, he was unique, had a unique mission as the Word Made Flesh, but he still was human in that incarnation and had human emotions, anxieties, fears.  The point is, more than one and here they are.

  • Vision, Goals and Focus Matter, Crucial, Critical!!!
  • Get one, Set them, Get focused, Move Your Tukkus!!
  • There will be crap along the way, even people who don’t have it together, clueless as to the need for Vision, Goals, Focus
  • Life Happens, constructively deal with it
  • God will help, but likely you have the tools etc.. if you Get One, Set Them, Get Focused, like yesterday!
  • Never let fear rule anything, you rule it always, never the other way around
  • Know that there is resurrection, redemption, even if you mess up along the way
  • Main thing is prayerfully determine Vision, Goals, Focus and move on it, them, focus, laser sharp
  • Remember butterflies that flutter here there everywhere are lovely for nature, not for succeeding in life or in love either for that matter

You thought the Bible was a boring book? Says who?

Palm Sunday and A World Gone Amok

mourning us

The world around us gone to hell in a breadbasket, adults not very grown up and mature, a bunch of whiney give me give me, gotta be in the spotlight so let me destroy stuff and play the victim all the time adults running the world stage and show.  People trying to “find themselves” at all ages etc…

When Jesus was on that donkey, all those palms laid out before him and he looked out at that crowd, wonder if he was looking at the future, what he was giving his life for? I wonder if he was looking to the future and thinking “Father, you gotta be kidding me, seriously, this is what I am offering up my life for, oy!”  No I am not being sarcastic, nor trying to be funny.  I am being serious as I watch the world before me play out stupid upon stupid, upon stupid whether in politics, in academia, in people’s own self, sometimes even looking back at my own self.  I then have to marvel at the fact that Jesus seeing, knowing the level of stupid we would get to, of depravity, the deviation from the natural state of things we would be inclined to go in time, still gave his life to save us, for God to not look up our sins, rather on his sacrifice of atonement.  Does that mean we can go out there and do what we want because Jesus atoned, no, let’s not go back to stupid, okay.  However, as I have passed through the Lenten season, the Holy Spirit has given me lots of reflection and part of the reflection is that the world is in chaos because there is no honoring of boundaries, of any kind, not historical in terms of Israel and her right to the land, not personal, not national border boundaries, not any boundaries, not even self respect boundaries, law and order boundaries.  There are also no boundaries in academia of academics understanding their place to simply teach facts, and then get students to critically look at those facts as relates to society in general and their own lives, to be objective, yes to care about the subject, but not ever interject their own crap opinion into it.  That goes for administration also.  Centers of learning are to be about learning academics and general intercommunication skills and such, not about let’s all embrace the gay family and gay marriage etc..  When you take away boundaries, including honoring the Constitution, Bill of Rights and with clear personal responsibility, when the government does not make it clear we will not interfere with religious freedom of conscience barring breaking of federal laws in terms of their being violence and such, then we have a problem, lack of boundaries, same with state government.  Recently VP Pence was mocked for his stance on not dining or dancing with anyone but his wife.  Again, he sets strict boundaries to protect his marriage, but is mocked?  Why?  Then, excuse me, but Bill Clinton, or even Hillary Clinton, or let’s say the Kennedy family to try and be any kind of a barometer for marital standards is a joke.  After all, it’s perfectly noble to stay married, go to church or if your Jewish Temple, but screw around left and right, be in love with someone else, but don’t divorce, cause hey not noble, a sin. Excuse me if hypocrisy doesn’t qualify you to speak on certain subjects.  Boundaries is one main issue that has to be dealt with and self discipline.  

You also have this victim and just give the fish away, which doesn’t help anyone. Recently Ben Carson discovered a financial mess at HUD, millions of wasted money and other crap.  If we look at other government programs, and agencies the hundreds of billions will be probably jaw dropping and most likely we will see a cycle of generations stuck in the same situation, not a lot of change and help having really happened.  Part of the problem is that government and often even non profits have this one size fits all approach to things, even when they have programs of welfare to work kind of thing, not tailored to the person, their hidden gifts and talents, their hopes and dreams.  Society, those who are trying to “help” including politicians who need a dependent voter to to use them as a crutch never really teach anyone to fish, only give the fish and keep giving fish.  This is hurting our society globally.   Not sure how we change it, as it is not so ingrained, but this has to change big time, so does our victim, give me, give me, give me, I am entitled you all owe me, life owes me, everyone owes me, mentality.  No no one owes you anything, not even God, but he gave freely to you, so did Jesus, but no one owes you or me a dammed thing!

Can’t Run or Hide From Them

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary


Some things you can run from, hide from, I mean when you’re kids you play hide and seek, no problem.  You can run from the crazy neighbor by not answering the phone or door, pretend you are not home, so some things you can run from, hide from.  Then there are some things, you can’t run or hide from.  

I suddenly found a certain song come on Youtube and realized memories are the one thing, along with your emotional baggage you can’t ever run from.  You can change apartments, cities, states, counties, countries, hair color all that, but you would be a fool to think you can ever ever run from any of that.  It becomes a game of catch up and you will never outrun the memories or the baggage.  Luckily the baggage you can get rid of and over time the memories fade, but running, thinking that will take care of that, make life honky dorey, is silly to put it kindly.  It’s no picnic being in the thick of memories all of them, the good, bad, full range, not fun at all, not one bit, but for healing to take place in any real way it all has to be faced head on stared down and when you come up out of the deep and the cold, ice cold water, you come out stronger.  If you have some really great supportive anyone around to let you know they have your back as you make this journey of face these memories, a lot easier granted and hopefully you do or God puts that person in your path.  I do know that memories even if they fade, don’t get erased, are always there and they can’t be ignored as if they never happened, don’t exist, same with pain, especially the emotional kind.  That is something I have had to learn and it has taken me a long time and been a long journey and I hope others learn it a lot faster than I learned the lesson and process their baggage, face their “demons” a lot faster than I faced mine in life.  I always thought if only I could go to another state, country, planet, world then no more emotional hurt, no more ikky memories etc.., all would be by magic made okay, but that is not the case because memories, feelings are in the heart, spirit, soul, muscles and molecular levels of our being, so they go with us wherever we go.  I am realizing I have to be much more aware, focused, streamlined etc.. with my life and create much better and aligned to common ground with me choices etc… and better memories for my life.  Life keeps teaching and making things clearer if I stay open to understanding and what the Holy Spirit wants understood. 


Castle Falling, Too ?, Scattered To See

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary


There are times when you are watching people in a castle that is falling down and they just don’t see it.  You see it, and quite clearly.  Why don’t they see it? 

Issues, and scattering, lack of focus.  Often in life we can have a true passion, but not know how to focus that passion, have a true path, vocation, love and yet not have had the opportunities, courage etc.. to pursue it early on in life, so we don’t and then we take on a million projects and start to dabble in that which is our passion.  Yet, because we have not found a way to channel that passion, that love into a central core venue and are basically flying by the seat of our pants, no plan, just in the moment, moment by moment, no long range plans, lots of baggage maybe and stuff we ran away from, haven’t really faced, memories we refuse to process, just ran from we are in a sand castle that at any moment will crumble and we will hit that bottom hard.  We may be dividing ourselves into many pieces, problem with that is we will end up shattered and into a million pieces and take everything down with us.  Our passion, true love and vocation must have a core outlet and venue, and for example for me right now it is these blogs.  Ideally it would be also a partnership with a like minded partner and soulmate with whom I would be producing and creating material as well, joint production team artistically and in deep friendship, that’s a whole different issue.  What I am sensing and seeing is a situation of scattered energy, scattered dreams, time etc.., no focus of the core passion, core vocation and calling into any one core venue, outlet, partnership creatively.  Even Meatloaf had one core artist collaboration, even if it went through a rough patch, same with Simon and Garfunkel.   I realize even for my own life that scattering of energy and diluting your passion, not really focusing on that which is your passion, trying to divide yourself here, there and everywhere, keeping busy for the sake of busy as I tried to do in the past, running from issues, feelings etc… is not ever a good thing, ever.  Stuff has to be faced, dealt with, constructively, but dealt with.  Passions needs to be focused, one’s vocation clarified and then a core venue for that chosen, and core alliance for that formed, a positive dynamic one that will spur you to grow in every direction and to grow up as well, whether you like it or not!  I am also at a point where I realize people clutter their lives as a way of not facing themselves, or what they think is boredom, they want thrills all the time, as if somehow quiet time with self, with maybe just one other person and God, total silence with self and God or just one other person is a horror.  It is not, it can be absolute beauty and give way to great creative output.    The arts is a all or nothing kind of path and if you want that path, well you have to give up other pieces in order to make it happen, to really give it all your passion, especially if you are getting into it later in life, sorry that is the truth.   I also think having a really great creative partner helps, one who will kick your tukkus and they will kick yours as required to help you focus, grow etc…, inspire you every day,  that you can bounce stuff off of,   and study with, really explore, have a ball with as you make that incredible artistic very focused journey.  Scattering, dividing of self into many pieces, trying to be something for everyone and not focused on your path, your journey, core passion will lead one over the cliff and take everything along with you.  When you see someone on that path of being divided into so many pieces, not focused on their true primary passion, knowing you have that same love of the arts as the primary love, the potential of collaboration if there were focus on the creative as a team, equal partners team and that they are driving 180 on a 50 mile zone headed for a cliff, right over it, it can be really frustrating, even more so when you are an intuitive and empath, words can not begin to describe it.  So, what do you do when you see someone scattered to the winds, not focused on their true passion, and not having a core outlet venue for that and not sure if there is a key alliance creatively in their life that challenges them artistically, creatively, etc…since  an artist needs to be challenged so on and so forth, especially when you feel they have potential, sense they have potential?

At some point, you make your point one last time, put it out there as strongly as you can one last time and you pray, just keep praying, meditating, and praying for a miracle that they will declutter, and get extremely focused on their true path, primary vocation and passion and with a core venue, core alliance, even collaborating with you, whatever role you are meant to play in that journey of theirs core alliance, whatever, they begin that very focused journey.   Meantime, you simply keep doing what you are doing and hope for great things in your own life and your own journey, so your castle gets stronger and never falters, never falls.  If they refuse to see that their sandcastle is on very shaky ground and not very fortified because of their scattered focus, well then their castle and everything they are working with will have to crumble as well.  Only then perhaps will they finally get make that leap to focus focus focus, declutter,  etc..