Those Afraid of Truth

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I don’t remember much about the movie A Few Good Men, except for the line that Nicholas tells Cruise, “The truth, you can’t handle the truth”  It is a line that rings very true to life because we say we want honesty, truth all of that, but yet we afraid to accept it, even to share it about how we feel., what is truly happening.  We see this with Clinton, Comey, McCabe and in life often, even in marriages, where the marriage is dead, can’t be saved but people will lie to themselves.  We may see it in that we have feelings for others, but are too scared to say anything or have this notion of it has to be the perfect timing, setting, scenario etc… so we say nothing, time passes, though the electricity fills the room each time we them, we say nothing because not ideal something.   When others also are honest, sincere in saying what they feel, or in saying it’s time to close a door to something long dead for the sanity, health etc.. of all, don’t want to hear that, no.  Truth, honesty, we say we want it, but no, even the news media if we look at cable will often tell us what we want to hear, not stick to plain facts, distinguish news from opinion, trust us to take the facts, put them together and form our own opinion of what the hell is going on and vote etc… accordingly.  Truth, rare commodity, really is liquid gold, which is a pity, real pity.


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It’s easy to live a lie, for any one of us to be determined to not see or hear truth.  The truth, even prophetic, word of knowledge, strongly intuitive, connect the dots, all these truths should be embraced for guidance, should be, but are often not.  Why not? 

We have dreams, illusions and all that jazz going on, so when someone comes at us with any truth that we feel sabotages that, messes with that, we don’t want to hear it, not from the Holy Spirit, not from others.  An article I came across spoke on this subject and pointed out  that besides the defense mechanisms employed with frightening regularity, we have grown into a culture that, despite proclaiming a desire for the truth, would actually prefer to be lied to.  Say what, we want to be lied to?  Think about it, now schools want everyone to feel special so even effort awards are given, all kinds of stuff like this.  The problem the article points out is two fold the problem is twofold: first, as a culture we’ve come to expect to be spared our feelings at the cost of the truth, to be lied to. Second, defense mechanisms and other aspects of perception work to keep the individual in an illusion which is intended to be better than reality.  We tell people white lies all the time to make them feel better, even to ourselves fighting against the path anointed to us, determined to go the path we want at all cost.  We talk about keeping it real, or even receiving divine guidance, inspiration, but many of us might prefer the illusion rather than the reality of things. 

What happens when a friend won’t feed any of that and will give the truth on any level as they see it, are given in word of knowledge for you, any of that?  The person has to be honest enough to say it as is, especially with big picture stuff.  If they are all excited about a certain event, the dress they chose, or ask about weight, well you may have to be a bit diplomatic.  In general if you are going to be a true parent, spouse even friend, you need to be willing to share these types of truths, not in a yelling screaming way, but straight forward as you can.  If the other person is unwilling to embrace that, you may find a cold and frozen wall in front of you.  That’s okay, just keep praying and keep speaking these truths, as certain things go of course be sure you have the factual info.  If you find you feel you always have to say what the other wants to hear, can’t be honest, truthful with that person, well you may have to accept a walking away.  At some point they will realize the truth is preferable to mere illusion.  That is not to say you don’t encourage a person’s gifts etc… but always do so in a way that is of truth, be at peace with that.

Shalom and Amen

Anger and Faith, Oh My

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A book was recently written “The Lost Shepherd” regarding Pope Francis, his Papacy.  We have vatican officials close to this Pope raging at anyone who questions what the heck this Pope and the Vatican is doing, violations of core magisterium.  It seems this Papal posse can’t handle the truth, doesn’t like to be told what’s what, lashes out, those around the Pope like Spadaro act like spoiled brats. So, is it “wrong” to be angry, ever?   Yes, it is.   However, it’s all about point of reference for that anger, and such, which is why in the faith community there is the term righteous anger.  What is righteous anger?  It is a reactive emotion of anger over mistreatment, insult, or malice of another, and even self. For example as a Church, the body of Christ when church leaders contradict bible truth about marriage, family etc… anger is justified.  When government violates the Constitution, especially as a pattern, anger is absolutely justified.  When there is actual mistreatment of people, helpless animals, cruelty, yes anger is justified.  If a child is being neglected etc.., or an elderly person, all of this is cause for anger, it’s righteous anger.  If you are getting passed over constantly at work for those less qualified because they “kiss up”, yes you would be angry and rightly so, wouldn’t you be? Anger can be the correct response or a dangerous emotional reaction. The nature of anger is defined by the motivation and the state of the heart. Anger over issues that would anger God, such as crime, abortion, pornography, abuse, oppression, and so on, is justifiable and can cause positive action.  Jails are full because of anger. Men and women rage at their kids, kids at everyone else because of anger. Families are destroyed because of anger etc….Women rage against men being taught that the Patriarchy is responsible for all ills in life and society, with no one seeming to be willing to take responsibility for their own lives and screws ups, no one willing to hear truth biological, scriptural or otherwise.    If one of faith and spiritual life is wondering what the heck is the difference between righteous and unrighteous anger this chart might help

There is also another factor, reaction, response.  Those troubled by the Pope have written him letters, have written books to try and get him to see truth, and taken different steps to bring him back to Magisterium truth.  In our government here in the U.S., we are seeing exposed wrong doings of various government agencies and hopefully constructive overhauls will take place, changes made to different systems that truly benefit all, or the majority.  People have taken to social media to put pressure and it seems to work.  Then you have the attempt to silence free speech by intimidating businesses into severing ties with the NRA when the problem is not the weapons, it’s people and society, bureaucracy breakdowns.  You have an education system that does not allow for vigorous debate and disagreement, speaking of truth, even if that truth hurts, offends, and that’s not a good sign for society, not at all.  When there is anger for whatever reason, including not liking truths told, it’s not the anger that is the issue, it’s whether it’s within the parameter of righteous anger or not and also the response that matter.  We should ask ourselves these questions based on the parameters of righteous vs unrighteous anger:  Is my anger truly justified?  Is my anger to intense for me to be in right mind at this time?  Am I too quick to anger?  Does my anger last too long?   If the answer is yes to more than one of these, to all of these, then we need to do some serious meditating, praying, etc…, 

Shalom and Amen

This Is Why Creator Created Boundaries

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How often do we know a relationship is toxic, is morally wrong etc…, but we ignore and go in anyway?  How often do adults create in children such a sense of unworthiness that they then make lousy relationship choices?  The list of questions on this can go on and on.  When we enter into situations and relationships that are contrary to integrity etc…, especially when we have the discernment to know they are, it won’t matter how we try to justify it, there will be pain and disappointment.  There may be not only heartbreak in terms of what the other person did or did not come to do, but also disappointment in self, heartbreak with self and thus confidence shattered, leading to more negative stuff.  When God, inspired the putting forth through scripture of clear boundaries, behaviors etc.. it wasn’t to be controlling, it was so we would be spared all the pain and disappointment of bad, unholy choices, what they would bring.  Same often with good parents, they may seem like they are meddling etc…, but they’ve lived through, seen a thing or two, know a thing or two more than a teen or even 20 something, maybe even a 30 something may know.  When someone truly prayerful, knowledgeable, with solid life experience, gives a piece of advice, tries to intervene, don’t dismiss it, not saying automatically adopt it, but maybe reflect on it, reflect on scripture connected to it and what they mean. Don’t repeat in your life’s journey and choices, decision making, the mistake in the Garden of Eden.  Seek counsel, prayerfully, meditate some, and if you have some solid people to advise,  awesome, see what they have to say, maybe one really wise person who understands this quote, about boundaries all that stuff.  I hope this quote can help you in your decision making and serve as a guide in life.

Shalom and Amen  

That Thing Called Closure


Closure, something I think everyone wants for relationships, for any number of situations.  We often will depend on others to provide that closure, especially if they are the ones creating the end to the story.  Yet that is not always the case and there are questions that don’t get answered.  Thing is, not everything has an exact answer, not everything has perfect closure.  There are times when we have create the closure for ourselves, even when others don’t, can’t, won’t, whether intentionally or don’t even realize they have left this cloud of “why?” that will never go away, rather might not go away, unless that is we decide we are not going to wallow in self pity.  This applies to individuals and groups, even nations, their citizens.  One can decide to just sit and stew, seeking closure from others, closure that will never come, or one can decide that life is too precious, too full of promise, possibility for change and transformation for the better, and move forward with a solid plan for the future.  You know that “it’s me, not you” thing, well yeah, not you, it is me and also it is you.  It’s all of us because all of us have baggage, all of us have stuff we carry around, wrongs we believe were done to us or our group of people, even as individuals.  Closure is the ideal in life, to have closure in some concrete healthy way, the goal always being healthy closure.  Again, don’t wait on others for closure, for constructive closure to a chapter, a situation, a release from the crap of the past etc…, create closure yourself as necessary in a most positive and healthy way, always.  Value yourself enough as a precious child of God to do that, always. Meditate on how to do so, seek divine guidance, always.

Shalom and Amen

Valentine, Connections That Never Die

Connections Are Real

There are connections made in life that transcend all time and space, that are remembered forever, not because of they were bad, hurtful or negative, but because they touched so deep, transformed to deeply, started you on the path to knowing yourself so much better, you are grateful.  They also may have taught you to let go, to let go in forgiveness, maybe not right away, maybe not immediately, but they did soon enough.   Even years later, they still are teaching you, you are still reminded of them in a song or a face.  Doesn’t mean you are fantasizing about coming together or anything like that, you may fully understand that is not going to happen, can’t happen, not because they are a terrible person or anything like that, for other reasons.  Still the connection is one that will be with you forever. There may be two or three such deep connections you make in life, but the first deep one is the deepest and is the one that will be the ghostly mist that follows you everywhere, not necessarily a bad thing if you have let go, forgiven and learned your lessons.  What does this have to do with Valentine Day? 

We can get awfully down about who is or isn’t in our life on this day, but rather than do that, why not have a celebration of the people who did come into your life, the joy they did bring you and the lessons they did teach you, even if you had to let go, walk away or they walked away.  Don’t do it in bitterness, do it in forgiveness and Agape love, do it in the spirit of the day, that’s personal growth, that’s Valentine Day.


Stronger Couples, What Gives?

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I am a big fan of the show “Everybody Loves Raymond” and in a way Frank and Marie Barrone, well they represent the real and imperfect relationship.  They fought, they disagreed, but they kept it real, no phoney baloney there.  Not saying to be like that, but I am saying that couples who try to be perfect, almost like Barbie and Ken dolls, or never address any issues, almost smiling, always seem lovey dovey, you have to wonder how real are they being, how authentic and what’s not being said, addressed that needs to be?  I am not talking fighting in an abusive way, talking disagreeing, even a raised voice once or twice, once in a while, each being able to be open about their feelings on any given subject and decision the family is seeking to reach.  One thing you never do in any discussion, any fight with a partner or even kids, family is hit below the belt, and if there is stuff that has not been addressed from the past, address it, but address it holistically in connection to what is happening now.   You need to have discussion periodically about family finances, key family stuff that does affect the overall well being of the family, and it’s okay to disagree with each other, just don’t undermine each other in front of or around the kids, big NOOOOOOO!!  Have enough of a functioning brain not to do that, please.  Don’t avoid, repress and try to be perfect because that’s not erality, not life, not people, not real people. 


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What Is A Relationship About?

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As I read this I realized this is something I had not really been able to do, not fully, part of it has to do with being an intuitive and picking stuff up about people at times immediately upon seeing them and believe me it can get very awkward, especially if you are picking up on behavior etc… that is less than honorable they are engaging in or negative emotions they are feeling.  I realize now that if I am going to ask God to bring me a life partner and companion, even if it is a soulmate, there will be differences, natural that there will be differences, hopefully not major ones, not major worldview ones.  If I think that I am only going to have similarities, no differences, not realistic is it, not really.  I have to appreciate the similarities, but also will have to appreciate what we can learn from the differences.  There will be something we can teach each other, without even trying, from those differences.  This is an important foundation as is both romantic and agape love, the kind Jesus had for all of humanity.  May we all learn this very important lesson, hopefully sooner rather than later and have relationships that are full of dignity, respect and beauty, not perfect because that doesn’t exist, but real and a great journey made. 

Shalom and Amen

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Might Hurt, But….

Best Friend Won't Agree

Whether it’s a parent, sibling, your own kid, a true blue friend, Jesus loving us can mean and has to mean putting forward some harsh truths, truths we might not like, or want to hear.  Jesus  who was no teddy bear, contrary to what the very lost warped modern liberal social justice etc.. church would have us believe, told people stuff they didn’t like and they walked away because they couldn’t handle what he was dishing out.  He loved humanity enough, being the Word Made Flesh, to keep telling it.  That can also be the case in our own relationships with others, even sometimes with a spouse.  There can be things we need to get across, but they don’t want to hear it, not willing to hear it.  Friendship, authentic relationship means you don’t tell each other what you want to hear, but what needs to be told, which doesn’t mean you don’t stand by each other, are happy for each other and all that, but even Jesus, the apostles though they encouraged, were straight shooters and more than once dished out very honest tough love.  Like I said people didn’t necessarily want it, like it, appreciate it, and yes they lost friends, family etc.. because of it, but they still told it.  Not saying be nasty about it, but if the Lord really does stir in you to tell a truth, to convey a truth, it is in line with the scriptures, then you need to find a way to convey it.  It may not sit well, but if you care then you will care enough to honor that and care enough about the person also to share what the Lord wants to be shared.