Is the Past Ever Truly Put to Rest?

night sky and stars

The past came has come visiting me these past few weeks, almost like a haunting, like a ghost.  It stays buried for a while, but then either something with the fibromyalgia, something will resurrect the ghosts of the past, all the frustration about not paying attention to God’s plan for me, frustration about letting my childhood stuff cloud my choices etc… into adulthood.  The past should stay in the past, shouldn’t cloud tomorrow, but I realized something.  It has taken away, rather the baggage I have carried has taken away  from me.  It has up to now taken away any sense of safety, of choice, any real sense of the ability to make choices, not the right ones. In essence, what was ahead scared me because what had been had hurt me so much.  Yet, I kept putting myself in relationship and career situations that would hurt me, cause pain, be one wall after another, one obstacle after another.  It is only now that I am coming to understand this fully, this notion of being scared of what was before me, so I didn’t embrace, seek out fully God’s plan for me because I was too hurt by what had been and couldn’t really trust anyone fully, not even God.  Am I in a place of being totally healed, where I can totally trust, even totally trust God?  No, getting close, getting there, but not totally there, not yet.  I am sure God understands and He is quite patient, so I just have to keep walking the journey till I get home, that’s all.   What does home look like? Lots of music and ministry/coaching and lots of smiling as I share God, and the lessons of life with all the world, God’s path for me.

Shalom and Amen

Only People Mad at You.jpg

It’s easy to live a lie, for any one of us to be determined to not see or hear truth.  The truth, even prophetic, word of knowledge, strongly intuitive, connect the dots, all these truths should be embraced for guidance, should be, but are often not.  Why not? 

We have dreams, illusions and all that jazz going on, so when someone comes at us with any truth that we feel sabotages that, messes with that, we don’t want to hear it, not from the Holy Spirit, not from others.  An article I came across spoke on this subject and pointed out  that besides the defense mechanisms employed with frightening regularity, we have grown into a culture that, despite proclaiming a desire for the truth, would actually prefer to be lied to.  Say what, we want to be lied to?  Think about it, now schools want everyone to feel special so even effort awards are given, all kinds of stuff like this.  The problem the article points out is two fold the problem is twofold: first, as a culture we’ve come to expect to be spared our feelings at the cost of the truth, to be lied to. Second, defense mechanisms and other aspects of perception work to keep the individual in an illusion which is intended to be better than reality.  We tell people white lies all the time to make them feel better, even to ourselves fighting against the path anointed to us, determined to go the path we want at all cost.  We talk about keeping it real, or even receiving divine guidance, inspiration, but many of us might prefer the illusion rather than the reality of things. 

What happens when a friend won’t feed any of that and will give the truth on any level as they see it, are given in word of knowledge for you, any of that?  The person has to be honest enough to say it as is, especially with big picture stuff.  If they are all excited about a certain event, the dress they chose, or ask about weight, well you may have to be a bit diplomatic.  In general if you are going to be a true parent, spouse even friend, you need to be willing to share these types of truths, not in a yelling screaming way, but straight forward as you can.  If the other person is unwilling to embrace that, you may find a cold and frozen wall in front of you.  That’s okay, just keep praying and keep speaking these truths, as certain things go of course be sure you have the factual info.  If you find you feel you always have to say what the other wants to hear, can’t be honest, truthful with that person, well you may have to accept a walking away.  At some point they will realize the truth is preferable to mere illusion.  That is not to say you don’t encourage a person’s gifts etc… but always do so in a way that is of truth, be at peace with that.

Shalom and Amen

Once Upon A Time

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We often get so focused on the big stuff, big plans etc.. that we don’t enjoy the day to day, nor do we seek to build life day to day, that is what stresses us.  May this poem inspire us all to live day to day, even within the big picture.



Biology Vs Feelings, Nothing New?

Confused Face

We hear so much now about transgender, LGBT, and think this is new stuff.  Well, no it isn’t.  Even in scripture we see it, God deals with it, addresses it, as do the prophets.  The struggle between biology and “feelings” or distorted perceptions is nothing new.  God knew this could happen at some point and when the angels a third of them even went all rebel city on Him, well I doubt he was totally surprised.  For those who have a very clear sense of who they are in Christ, and scriptural truth, but also have not had this struggle, they will find themselves having perhaps little patience with this ‘nonsense”.  It is spoken of also in spiritual terms by Paul who says we battle not things of flesh and blood, but also powers and principalities.  He had issues he also struggled with, though he does not specify what they are, but he understood there is this struggle between the sacred and the profane, between light and dark, head and heart, mind and body, all these struggles that came as a result of the choice the first human beings deciding to abandon sacred connection and guidance and rely only on self, as they were inspired to do by the former archangel Lucifer, for those of us who understand scripture to be God’s one and only truth.   Yeah, Lucifer was an archangel, the director of Choir most likely and much more, probably on level of status with Michael.  Then pride got the better of him, that struggle between ego and love of the Father.  Pride won out and doing things his way, wanting to beat dad, be the big kahuna took over.  If it didn’t work out well for him, why the heck would we think that is going to work out well for us?  As society has let the ego and emotions win over love of the Father, actual biology, all things sacred, including life being sacred, taking of life only as per self defense of self, family and country, the values that make a nation a true democratic republic, we have spiraled into hell in a breadbasket as the saying goes.  These struggles are nothing new, not at all, but that we have let emotions and ego, darkness even within the church, marriages etc…become the norm, that is where we have lost the struggle, we have let Luciferian darkness in.  Even with individuals not respecting their own bodies as sacred temples, and in so many ways as a society we have gone to the dark side, and it is because we have let emotions and ego overtake biology, which is not about any fragment of a DNA, but what the whole DNA has to say, so whatever fragment of one you may have (if you have two whole pieces of a gender chromosome that is what you are intended to be, not what you feel you are) and sacred boundaries scriptural truth.  When parents and faith institutions, key elements of society give a stamp of approval to going with your emotions and ego to decide important things, and only feelings, big problem for us as individuals, for others and society.  Will the struggles ever cease between the sacred and the profane, light and dark, head and heart, mind and body, not until a particular time, so until then it is up to parents and other key elements of society to get their act together and stop encouraging the struggle, stop adding to the darkness by saying that people should choose gender, or anything in life purely on emotion and ego because that is a load of bull and very damaging on many levels.


Verses For Patience

When you feel patience not a virtue in your life and you are waiting on a prayer to be answered, guidance to arrive etc…, as you do what you are given to do meditation, in prayer,  you can keep going back to these verses to help sustain you.

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Be Proud of the Steps

Be Proud Along the Way

When we watch an epic film, especially set in an epic time, hear an orchestra concerto, see a cake that is a true masterpiece of art, even perhaps our own, we beam with joy and pride,  This goes for anything, even any milestones with one’s kids, friendships, relationships.  We see the end result and wow, but what of a journey that has been a bit rocky, or very rocky before getting to a masterpiece?  Wait a minute, you think that epic film didn’t give at any time the director, producer, anyone and everyone on set the need for nexium?  That masterpiece of a cake or three course meal that has everyone fawning, you think it happened the first time around? Hello, test kitchen, trial and error, mishaps etc…, lots of steps from A to Z.  Yeah, great to look at the final product whatever that is, the achieve, but don’t discount being proud, not in a narcissistic way that everyone will want to smack you upside the head for being an arrogant twit, thank you very much, but in a healthy recognition of the steps taken, time etc… put in to get there.  Do I have a songwriting deal with any record label yet, or being called to be a speaker at events yet? No, but I am happy that I am taking steps to get there and each step along the way is a jewel, one I should cherish, along with my faith.  Also think about the fact that God could have created anyone, but chose to create you, hmm.  Again, no getting all narcissistic, but, that means there are gifts, talents you are meant to share.  What are they, and how do you constructively share them?

How Cool God Created You

Amen and PS. the non functional product page will be gone in the next 24-48 hours.

Serenity Prayer Reflection

Serentity Prayer

Life is about discernment, that’s 50 percent or more of the key of it all.  One of the keys is that you can’t change others only yourself.  Others might be changed by your words or how you live later on, but you can only change you and your life, your circumstances from negative and toxic to not so.    With your kids, parenting, you can only change how your relate to your kids, can’t change them.  Same with friendships, you can only speak the truth of the Spirit and if the person then chooses to not hear and to walk away from the friendship, that is their choice, leave it, in your soul, wish them well and continue on with your path. 


Changes Coming to The Blog

Northern Lights II

I am going to be removing the membership and I am going to be instead adding donation option.  I will also be sharing my music directly with you, my spoken word performances, which I hope will guide, inspire and so much more.  I should have the donation button and option set up in the next two weeks. Meantime, if you want to donate, please do so directly through paypal using email

Thank You and God Bless.