Consistent Noncuranza, Immaturity?

a dark room

There is a phrase in Italian Noncuranza, which refers to not giving a damm, not caring, whatever, that kind of attitude, ignoring things, issues etc… Is it a problem, big one?  Well…, yeah.  

Granted, there are times when life can get nuts and we don’t get to things, to emails etc.. to respond, or to sort things out in a timely manner.  However, if one sees this pattern of ignoring, not responding, of noncuranza consistently, then something is screwy in St. Louie and wherever you happen to be.  Something is not right, just not. We then have to wonder, what is the root of this noncuranza?  The root could be any of these:

  1. Immaturity, not having a clue on what Italians would call il galateo, etiquette
  2. Burying ones head in the sand, not wanting to deal with the issue and thus not wanting to deal with you
  3. Not having answers to what is going on or any definitive anything about it organized, maybe too many ideas not enough focus, hence number 2
  4. Don’t want to be bothered until they want to be bothered with it, or work on it until they want to work on it, no matter how close it cuts to things, time wise etc…
  5. They may think you should just be able to go ahead and take care of it, not realizing that no, it has to be direct collaboration, coordination for it to work, duh

Some may say that any of these are legitimate reasons for this noncuranza, this non responsiveness.  However, if one is working on long term impact projects with another, that requires very strong day to day coordination and collaboration for things to run smoothly, then no, none of these are legitimate reasons for the noncuranza.  It puts the other person in a position of feeling like they are hitting a brick wall in what they are doing, trying to do for the organization, or project.  This will end up leading to that person walking away because they won’t want to deal with brick walls.  What do you do in this situation?  You try your best to get the message across in a non aggressive way that this noncuranza and lack of timely response or response i not okay.  If that doesn’t work, you can go lone ranger in making decisions and implementing stuff, which can cause friction, but if you have sent emails etc.. and you can keep a log of what you have done, then you can explain why you had to do it.  If it really affects your mood, really gets you down etc.., starts to make you miserable having to deal with this continuously and it is an option, you may have to walk away.  It may pain you, but you may end up feeling the frustration is not worth the impact on your well being, especially if you are passionate about the project etc…  If you are, it will get you down in the long run to have to deal with this.  If it’s important to you, very much so but not to them apparently and the noncuranza is continuous, that is not a good thing for anyone.  Pray, yes, keep insisting on what needs to be done and in a timely manner, but if no change comes after a certain time, a decision may have to be made as to what do to, sad as it might be.